1 Peter 1:13 "Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed."

I've been repeating that verse to myself since the middle of the summer when I found it. It's one of those verses that when you read it, the message just smacks you right between the eyes. It has been my motivation since that beautiful day (I was in TX with the Service Corps when I found it and while hot, it was great!)

Why? Because my job requires someone who is forward thinking and motivated and it has suffered for the past four years under me. I have given excuses as to why nothing is happening in my department but they all, of course, fall empty. The truth is, I was scared and I paralyzed myself with that fear. I believed this job too big for me, this territory too large for one person to handle. I couldn't imagine how just little me could possibly make a difference in the lives of young adults across the territory when I lived so far away and could only offer ideas. Sounds pretty reasonable huh? Well, what it boils down to is that I wasn't using the talents God gave me. For years those talents were wasted, as I sat in my office daily complaining that I didn't have anything to do.

Then last Christmas, I was hit smack in the face with my own faults and, let me tell you, they are not an easy thing to stare in the face and accept as your own. It was then that I realized that something had to change. I was still scared, still wanted to crawl into a hole, bury my talents and just give up because I didn't think I could do it but Marty and I's physical circumstances demanded otherwise. So, what did I do, you ask?

I quit grasping for straws and I worked on a plan. How good I have been at making that plan come to fruition, I don't know - but I keep trying and that's a start.

Then, I went to the Thirsty conference - that was another piece of the puzzle that God was putting together in my life. I was sitting in one of the meetings when one of my favorite speakers, Louie Giglio reminded everyone listening of the "otherness" of God. He's not like us, he doesn't work like us. He's bigger than we are and (here's the thing I learned) He's bigger than our circumstances. What the Lord taught me that night was that because of my fear, I hadn't been trusting in Him. I didn't trust how big He is and how He is bigger than my circumstances and He is definitely bigger than this territory. He can handle meeting the needs of young adults throughout this territory and He can use me. He just wants me to step into the mystery that is Him and allow Him to work.

So, I've been trying that - stepping in to His mystery and relying on His biggness. That's been pretty cool but I still needed a little help. While I was a little more motivated to do His work, I still didn't necessarily have a handle on the whole - work thing. Weird I know. I didn't like it. I didn't like having to get up every morning and coming to the same place. I didn't like sitting behind a desk. I didn't like staring at a computer and making copies. What I didn't like even more was that, while I was busy at the time preparing for ROOTS and Service Corps Orientation, I still knew that the Fall was coming. The fall is my down time. It's the time in the past when I spend three months basically doing nothing - waiting for January to come around and for Service Corps to start again.

Then I found 1 Peter 1:13. I found my motivation. I don't know why it took me four years to want to work but it did. That's sad, don't let it happen to you. But now? Now, I'm prepared for action. I want to be a part of it and I can do something in my small little office and it will matter.

1 Peter 1:12 - 16 in the Message reads, "So roll up your sleeves, put your mind in gear, be totally ready to receive the gift that's coming when Jesus arrives. Don't lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing. You didn't know any better then; you do now. As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God's life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, "I am holy; you be holy."

I was lazy for a while and untrusting. I lacked energy and motivation. I wasn't being obedient to God. I was dying inside and everyone who was close to me or worked with me could see it. Now, it's like life has been poured into my very being. The Lord had done something absolutely incredible in me and I LOVE IT!! So, if you ever hear me say the words, "Be prepared for action" don't mind me. It's just my slogan and now you know why.