Wednesday, August 31, 2005

I spoke with my mom this morning for the first time since the hurricane. She lives in Jackson, MS so there's no huge damage done there - just wind damage and a loss of power. Every kind of help is being diverted from there to areas that were hit harder which you can understand. My dad's in Biloxi trying to help in any way possible. The Salvation Army is doing what it can in providing meals, shelter, water and anything else that is possible. The astonishing thing to me is that they haven't heard what we've heard. They haven't heard that this hurricane has hit some places harder than Camille and done more damage in some places than that hurricane. They don't know what the news is saying about the total amount of damage across the states. They don't have power - no TV, hardly any radio - how could they know? I was shocked by that fact when I was the one who told my mom this morning the extent of the damage.

Then on the way to work I was listening to the radio and I heard the DJs wondering how long it would be before Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson came out with a statement about how this was God's wrath - his way of laying to waste the casinos and the sin in those cities. They talked about a statue of Jesus that still stands and how there's an apartment complex nearby that had 30 people killed in it. I wanted to call the radio station and apologize for Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. I wanted to apologize for the fact that they've made God seem like someone who's so unfeeling and uncaring. I wanted to apologize to them for not having a bigger voice and allowing them to be the "voice of Christians" in America. I can't understand why the rest of us have allowed that to happen - especially today when I know that no matter what the reason is behind the hurricane, my God stands beside every person who is grieving and holds them.

Then this morning I got to work and I read Psalm 46. "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." Then later it says, "The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."

There is no land, no building, no place on earth that can save us - only God and he dwells not in time or space but beyond time and space and that's where our refuge lies. I'm not a person who was devastated by the storm. What I don't want to do is sell anyone any platitudes. These verses just spoke to me. So often I wish I could get past what's temporary and realize the value, the true value of the eternal. I just hope that those who were caught in the storm have the opportunity and the chance to talk to someone who will lead them to TRUE REFUGE while their temporary shelters are restored and their temporary needs are met.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

"We must learn to detect, without great sign, the still, small voice of God. He will not fight for our attention; He must be sought...to sense the holy quiet of God, our other activities must cease. In our world of great pressures and continual distractions, the attentions of our heart must rise to the invisible world of God's Spirit. We must learn to see Him who is unseen." ~Francine Frangipane

"without great sign"

I'm still trying to learn how to hear him. I'm been trying to learn this for years now and once I think I get it, I end up right back at the beginning.

You'll have to excuse me for a while. I feel it's necessary to not write for a season. I think everyone might go through it - I don't know. I'm just hitting a dry spell right now and need to sort some things out.

I'll be back though. Until then, May we seek him and learn to detect his still, small voice - without great sign. That's going to take some work I think.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Resigning

Yes, I'm resigning. I'm resigning from a position I've held since I was 14 and for perhaps a year too long. I wrote the email on Wednesday letting the director know. I quit, I'm out, I'm gone. Thank you for the years I've been allowed to play a part but as of Labor Day I won't be here anymore. It had been coming. I had to work up the nerve really. It's quite hard to tell Dr. Holz that you're quitting the Songsters. I know - perhaps it shouldn't be that big a deal but to a man whose entire life revolves around music it is and will be. He hasn't sent an email back. I'm scared that he's just waiting around the next corner ready to pounce. He doesn't take no for an answer.

What's really sad is that to most people this shouldn't even get a blip on the screen much less an entire post. Perhaps my life isn't all that interesting right now and I can't think of anything else. However, I just think it's a shift. For far too long my only service to the church was the tiny talent I have in music - playing a horn, singing in the songsters. Now, I'm giving it all up to walk out my gifts. I'm blessed that the Lord is giving me the opportunity to use my gifts, blessed that He's given me friends who are walking this journey with me. Come Labor Day we are switching our visitation day in the apartment complex to Tuesdays and then about three weeks after that we're going to start teaching SONDay's Cool to the kids who live there on Thursdays. How cool is that? I'm giving up a career in singing to teach kids the Good News! I'm so excited about my resignation!

I would even venture to say that perhaps more should consider it.
Grace,
Joy