Thursday, December 15, 2005

Cancer

Wednesday November 16.

That morning I was standing at Christine's desk recounting a dream I had the night before - my next door neighbors stalking me by driving around my house in their 1970-something Impala or other such car with their wedding clothes on and Paula looking a lot like Bette Midler as the police called me and asked their names - strange. I didn't get to finish telling Christine my dream because the phone rang.

"Joy Mikles"

"Hey sweetest girl in the whole wide world." (I know - it's really quite cheesy that my mom still calls me this even though I'm 27 but it's familiar)

"Hey my mama" (yes, that's always my response)

Then Dad says hi.

"Hi Daddy" A pause. "Oh no, you're both on the phone with me at the same time, what's wrong? What is it?" (This is the way they've always given us bad news - together - no matter what).

"Joy, I have cancer." My heart stopped beating for a second I think.

That's where it began. Dad proceeded to tell me that he had just found out that morning from the doctor. The doctor did say however that it was 90% curable because they caught it early.

Then mom asked through tears if I was okay. No, I'm not okay. My dad has cancer. I don't know what to do - so I sob. For the rest of the day as I tell people I just keep saying to everyone else that he'll be okay. This is more for me than for them. I can't stop saying it - like I'm trying to convince myself about the last part of the statement, the 90% part, more than the fact that he has to have surgery and they have to do it quick because...well, he has cancer.

On the outside over the next couple of weeks I'm fine. People ask. "I'm fine." What they didn't hear or see were my thoughts about what our family would become if he doesn't make it. It's so early I shouldn't even be there yet but I can't help it. Then, of course, I think about what my spiritual life would become if he wouldn't make it. Then I start bargaining and pleading and praying. For three weeks that's all I can do. Such basic prayers over and over again. I couldn't help it and yet I kept feeling the entire time like somehow my faith should be stronger - my trust in the Creator should be a little bit more solid. I couldn't get there though. My prayers simply just placed me clinging to Him - pleading for a cancer-free dad.

I was reading Psalm 81 that week and got to verse 10, "I am the Lord your God who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." What's that mean? Open wide your mouth and I will fill it? Not quite sure. Then I realized that the Lord was telling the Israelites that if they would trust him, He would meet their needs. He wasn't just saying open your mouth and I'll put food in it - that's essentially what He's promising but He says, "Open WIDE your mouth." "Don't just stand there timid and barely open it and hope that I throw you a crumb from the table. Stretch your jaws, as far as they'll go and I'll fill them." (my paraphrase) Later in the chapter, verse 16 to be exact, he says, "But you would be fed with the finest of wheat; with honey from the rock I would satisfy you."

He wanted me to trust him enough to throw my head back and open my mouth wide enough, trust Him so much, that I could ask him for exactly what I wanted - a dad without cancer. So I did. I pictured it over and over again. Me, head back, open mouth - hoping, waiting, wanting desperately - not just for wheat but the finest wheat and honey from a place where it couldn't come unless he provided it.

I was spiritually poor for three weeks. Still am I suppose. Dad went through surgery fine and came out looking beat up but okay. He said some pretty funny things while coming out of the anestisia - things that would embarrass him if I mentioned them here. However, I went home that night and sobbed like I had just found out the diagnosis. I guess I was just letting out the stress.

Anyway, he had his follow up appointment this past Wednesday. The doctor said it had spread just a little bit outside of the area but they took more than they needed so they probably got it all. I said, "probably?" Anyway, it comes down to the fact that we won't find out for sure until he has another test in January.

I don't really know where all of this puts me. I'm not quite sure my relationship with the Father has grown through this. All I know is that I'm still standing with my head thrown back, mouth open, trusting the Lord to meet my need - maybe.

Is my Dad's health a need? I'm not sure. I've asked myself that question over and over again. I feel like it is. It's the most desperate plea I've ever had in my life. Anyway, I just can't get past this part - the asking part. I'm not sure that's trust when you ask over and over again because maybe God didn't hear you the first time - or the fiftieth but I'm still asking.

Perhaps this is simply what holding your breath feels like.

With hope,
Joy

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Making Moments

This week I've been focusing on Making Moments. The book I use for to guide my devotions asks this week that I prayer that the moments of my life may themselves become prayers. Whether they are in the joy of a birthday party, in the weariness that comes from labor, in the majesty of the setting sun or in the pain that comes with tears. Pray that each in its turn will cause you to lift your voice to him.

Each day we're also given a selection for meditation. Today's was a story. Most of the time they are just profound thoughts someone like A.W. Tozer once said. I love those but today I realized something. God put something in me when I was born that just relates to stories - whether true or fiction. So often I feel a little less intelligent than my friends who don't read fiction because they prefer the intellectual musings of some great mind. This morning I realized that so often I only get the point if it's made through story. So, this morning, I got the point of making moments through this story. If you don't like stories - stop reading. If you do, read on, it's about kites and meeting Jesus with today in your eyes.

Well, I'm disappointed. Who wouldn't be? With socks, a Sunday School shirt, some handkerchiefs, a hand-me-down sweater and a year's subscription to a religious magazine for children. The Little Shepherd. It makes me boil. It really does.

My friend has a better haul. A sack of Satsumas, that's her best present. She is proudest, however, of a white wool shawl knitted by her married sister. But she "says" her favorite gift is the kite I built her. And it "is" very beautiful; though not as beautiful as the one she made me, which is blue and scattered with gold and green Good Conduct stars; moreover, my name is painted on it, "Buddy."

"Buddy, the wind is blowing."

The wind is blowing, and nothing will do till we've run to a pasture below the house where Queenie has scooted to bury her bone (and where, a winter hence, Queenie will be buried, too). There, plunging through the healthy waist-high grass, we unreel our kites, feel them twitching at the string like sky fish as they swim into the wind. Satisfied, sun-warmed, we sparwl in the grass and peel Satsumas and watch our kites cavort. Soon I forget the socks and hand-me-down sweater. I'm as happy as if we'd already won the fifty-thousand-dollar Grand Prize in that coffee-naming contest.

"My, how foolish I am!" my friend cries, suddenly alert, like a woman remembering too late she has biscuits in the oven. "You know what I've always thought?" she asks in a tone of discovery, and not smiling at me but at a point beyond. "I've always thought a body would have to be sick and dying before they saw the Lord. And I imagined that when He came it would be like looking at the Baptist window: pretty as colored glass with the sun pouring through, such a shine you don't know it's getting dark. And it's been a comfort: to think of that shine taking away all the spooky feeling. But I'll wager it never happens. I'll wager at the very end a body realizes the Lord has already shown Himself. That things as they are" -her hand circles in a gesture that gathers clouds and kites and grass and Queenie pawing earth over her bone -"just what they've always been, was seeing Him. As for me, I could leave the world with today in my eyes."
~From A Christmas Memory by Truman Capote

That story taught me about what it means to make moments matter. I want to make moments that matter so much that I could leave today with them in my eyes.

Here's to kites and friends,
Joy

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

The Battle Begins

Here's where it begins - information. I receive emails almost daily from Lisa Thompson who works for The Salvation Army's Initiative Against Sexual Trafficking. Daily I'm disgusted at humanity and the idea that we will tout human beings as something to be bought and sold and that we will continue to glance over the problem as if it doesn't affect us. The truth is sexual immorality walks into our homes and lives daily and we don't even recognize it. So, now it's our chance to fight back. It might only be a small way to take a stand but it's a stand nonetheless. I'm posting below an article sent to me by Lisa from The Observer about a tourist company marketing tours through the Red Light District for FAMILIES!! Children under three get to go for free. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm also posting the address underneath the article where you can write the company to tell them of your outrage. It's not enough to get angry sometimes our righteous indignation calls for action.

For justice,
Joy

***************************
Red light tour condemned as 'sick'

Gemma Bowes
Sunday November 13, 2005
The Observer

Thomas Cook, Britain's longest running tour operator, is launching family tours to see prostitutes touting for trade in Amsterdam's red light district. The night-time excursions, which include a briefing about the 'system' from a former prostitute, are open to children of any age, and the company boasts 'under threes go free'.

Last week parents and charities working to protect women in the sex industry reacted with shock and disbelief when alerted to the tours by Escape.

'It is sick to propose a "prostitution tour" not only for adults, but even more so for children,' said Esohe Aghatise, the European representative of the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women (CATW), which campaigns against sexual exploitation of women.

A press release issued by Thomas Cook to announce the new 'Walking Tour Dark Amsterdam' describes how the two-hour tour, leaving at 8pm, will take visitors 'deep into the famous red light district, accompanied by a reliable and trustworthy guide, offering a fascinating insight into the oldest profession in the world!'

The brochure details what is included in the experience: 'Begin with a drink at a prostitute information centre where a former prostitute will explain the system and answer any questions you may have. Then head for the Wallen (red light district) and see for yourself.'

Adult tickets for the tour cost £12, though parents may be relieved to know children's tickets only cost £6. When asked what age range the child ticket covered, a spokeswoman said the prices apply to those from four to 12, and under threes go free.

CATW argues that taking children to see prostitutes is 'highly irresponsible' and risks traumatising them. The organisation estimates that 50-85 per cent of women in prostitution experience violence and debilitating injuries, and that more than 80 of those working in the Netherlands are of foreign origin, with most of them likely to have arrived there as victims of sex trafficking.

Dr Janice Raymond, co-director of CATW, said: 'Thomas Cook Tours treats prostitution as harmless fun. Women are sold as commodities in the Dutch sex industry, and Thomas Cook charges tourists to view the marketable products and chuckle at the human merchandise.'

Thomas Cook said it has introduced the tour in its 2006 Thomas Cook Signature Cities and Short Breaks brochure in response to feedback from clients.

'We have added this excursion to our programme so that our clients who do not feel comfortable or safe walking through the red-light district on their own can do so with an experienced guide, not only to escort them but to share his/her knowledge of this city's colourful past and present,' said a spokeswoman.

Thomas Cook needs to hear from you. Click the topic drop down box and select feedback. http://thomascooknew.custhelp.com/cgi-bin/thomascooknew.cfg/php/enduser/std_adp.php?p_faqid=99

Thursday, November 24, 2005

On to more important things...

I couldn't sleep tonight. It's 12:30 a.m. and not a wink in sight. I tried but my sheep must've been off for the holiday. I kept dwelling on a comment anonymous left. Anonymouse - just so you know, you also made it to my friend Phil's blog at www.phillaeger.com. However, I think we've talked enough about the brand. I've come to realize that it can't do much. What I have realized is that I can and I've reposted anonymous' comment here because he or she's comment is the point - isn't it? I've shortened it because there were two questions in the comment but I want to focus on the first and here it is:

"I guess a much bigger question I would be asking doesn't have to do with the branding (although I think it's an aweful slogan) and that is, "Why is it the only people describing the Salvation Army as a soul winning community are the individuals within the movement and only in coversations with each other. The coversation never goes outside into the market place so to speak. The Army does a great job using a religious language when it is talking to itself and never when it engages the world. That to me should be the bigger question."

So, really my post is a question to the wide world if anyone is willing to respond: how do we engage the culture in conversation - a conversation that matters? What does it sound like? What does it look like? I don't think I'm talking about one of those hey I just met someone on a plane and they asked me what I do or where I go to church questions. That's perhaps an easy question but not really one that engages. I'm talking about what does the conversation look like in lifestyle, in habit? Perhaps that's where we should start. I don't think the branding will change many things but I know I can. I'm a foot soldier after all and that's where all wars are won - on the front lines.

I'm just wondering if we can begin a conversation here - where it counts.

Thanks,
Joy

Thursday, November 17, 2005

I've been Branded

I know that I'm perhaps a day late and a dollar short posting about the "Doing the Most Good" branding almost two weeks (maybe more) after Cory did but I just went through the branding process and have a few thoughts to share.

All of the branding didn't really bother me before I went to the Branding meeting. I had people explain it to me as a promise to the public which I still believe it is. People kept telling me that they thought it was boastful - I'm not sure I ever thought it really was. I just kept my mouth shut about all of it - one way or another (except for questions here and there) until I had been through the meeting and heard what they had to say.

Now, I'm angry. Perhaps a little more than I need to be but I'm still quite ticked. I almost made it all the way through that stinking meeting without any objections and then they showed a video of Stan Richards who is obviously the founder of the group who came up with the branding. He began talking about getting a vision for people in the organization to live by - okay, I can do that. I can always ask myself if I'm doing the most good. Not a problem. Then he said that the next thing they do in order to come up with the brand is categorize in one word the organization or company which they are branding. For The Salvation Army the word they chose to describe us was CHARITY. I was angry - still am. We are a charitable organization but only because of the message we preach about the Good News of the gospel. It seems like every time I turn around we, The Salvation Army, are choosing not to let people know about who we serve when we have the opportunity. Why couldn't the stupid brand be about more than doing the most good with people's time, resources and contributions and be about doing the most good to win the world for Christ! That's why we do what we do and for the life of me I can't get past the thought that this isn't going to help. I will always have to tell my friends that we're not just a red kettle and a Thrift Store which this branding is supposed to help alleviate. I didn't see how but perhaps I will over time. Why is it that we chose to spend 12.7 million dollars on advertising last year and will continue to do so in the future and never EVER mention why we're the SALVATION army or spend a dollar trying to get that word out? Kelly asked the question that I'm asking. Not about funds but about how this will help people know we're a church and the answer that was returned was that it's up to us! Right, so, I get the responsibility to tell my sphere of friends, neighbors, whoever that we're a church ALL BY MYSELF? I love doing that - don't have a problem with it. In fact I feel it's my duty. Yet, the entire country gets a chance to hear about the other things we do and not why we do them through the media. That seems equal.

Perhaps we're putting the emPHAsis on the wrong syLAbell - concentrating our energy, our money, our time on the wrong part of the mission - the services, instead of why we offer the services in the first place.

Just my thoughts. Could go on and on but I think I'm beginning to beat a dead horse.

Are we doing the most good?
Joy

Monday, November 14, 2005

Non-profit Brothel

I know everyone else will post this but I can't leave it off. I'm disgusted at humanity right now and our intent on continuing the slave-trade and the desire to demoralize humans as product. We will use any excuse to make prostitution legal. We will come up with any way possible to continue to subject women, men, boys and girls to its harm and call it good.

Here's an article from the Vancouver Sun on the legalization of prostitution and the ability to make a brothel non-profit. Like that could ever happen!

Vancouver councillor calls for city to open a non-profit brothel
November 10, 2005
Vancouver Sun

VANCOUVER (CP) -- A Vancouver councillor is calling for the establishment of a non-profit brothel, owned by the city, to help drug-addicted prostitutes.
Tim Louis told The Vancouver Sun's editorial board that he favours a red light district to help protect calls "survival" sex trade workers.

Louis, of the left-wing Committee of Progressive Electors (COPE), said there would be many benefits of a brothel being run on a break-even basis, with the availability of medical services and drug treatment.

Another COPE councillor, David Cadman, said he would want to study the idea of setting up a city-run brothel and get a lot of public dialogue.

Sam Sullivan, the mayoral candidate for the centre-right Non-Partisan Association, said he was appalled by Louis's comments.

He said the "the goal should be to help these women get out of the survival sex trade, not keep them in it."

Sullivan said he doesn't want to "get into the business of being a pimp."

But Vancouver East MP Libby Davies, who is vice-chairman of a parliamentary committee examining the need for legislative reform on prostitution, said she's not surprised by the suggestion.

Davies said the committee wants law reform that focuses on the issues of exploitation and harm.

The committee, which held cross-Canada hearings and interviewed sex trade workers and municipalities, will issue its recommendations within weeks.

(Vancouver Sun)

Your Money Counts

This past weekend I was able to spend Saturday helping Kelly refloor her kitchen. I love the renovation scene. We didn't get any of the new tile laid but the demolition took it's toll on my body. Yesterday I spent the afternoon in bed. This afternoon I'm going back. I have to see it through. Besides, although it's painful, it's fun too. It's also cool to spend time like this with my friends.

This morning Marty and I finished our Crown Financial Class. For 10 weeks we've been waking up at 5 a.m. to be at work by 7 to attend this class. That's probably one of the most disciplined things I've ever done but the rewards are well worth it. We've learned much over the course of the class about budgeting, paying off debt and setting short and long term financial goals. We've started seriously depending on the Lord to take care of our finances because we were failing miserably when we did it in our own strength. We now take care of these things together instead of separately and we consult each other about purchases. We're seeking to learn to be content in our situation and I believe we'll get there as long as we keep trusting the Father. I'm not saying that we've got it all under control but I know we've come a long way in the process and we still have a long way to go but it just doesn't feel like a burden anymore. While it doesn't sound like fun, I would recommend the Crown Financial Class to anyone - married, single, old, young. It's well worth 10 weeks of your life. I would even recommend it if you feel like you've already got your financial house in order. The reminders are always helpful.

I know that's kind of a boring post for the day but I just wanted everyone to know what the Lord's been teaching Marty and I lately. He's seriously taken care of a HUGE concern for us and I'm incredibly thankful. If you struggle in this area, this class is definitely worth the time and the effort.

Here's to getting out of debt,
Joy

Friday, November 11, 2005

Small Group

Last night was small group. Four women get together at Maggie's house and we're working through the book The Sacred Romance. Last night's discussion was about "The Message of the Arrows." Basically we talked about the things from the past that have struck our hearts and caused pain and along with it sent a message to us that is untrue - i.e. I'm not good enough, I'm a failure, etc. It was a good night. While we all shared really deep things from our past and the atmosphere was heavy at times, I left last night knowing that I had been in the presence of three beautiful women and in the presence of God. I knew that He was blessed at the fact that we were sharing our hearts with one another and our lives. I continue to come back to the fact that He is a God of relationship and He desires for us to be in community with one another. What I'm blessed by is that He saw my needs before I knew them and decided to place me in this group.

I'm also blessed that others have decided to choose this path too. I want to say thank you to Kelly for making this happen and to everyone else for enriching my life every week.

I love you guys,
Joy

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Microwave Recipes!


I just found recipes for fudge that you can make in the microwave! Guess what everyone's getting a tin full of this year.
He he! Hopefully it'll be delicious.

I found them at and

Just something for kicks! Have a great day!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Pictures from the Trip

I didn't have enough pictures to show you the finished product here but I can in the next couple of days. This is the picture of the pit we cleaned out and sealed. It was one of the main drains for the corps but the Lieutenents' sons also lived in a room that shared a wall with this pit. Unfortunately the mold which was growing on the outside of the pit had crept into their room. So, we cleaned the walls to their room and the pit and then sealed the pit. I hope it holds off the mold for a while.



We were also able to waterproof their roof. It didn't look so bad from the outside but the huge waterspot on the inside said differently. It rained every day before we arrived and we were afraid we might not get a change to get this project done but we didn't see a drop the entire time we were there.


I don't know if you can tell from this picture or not but the chapel we started with was not the chapel we ended with. In the beginning the floor was loosely covered with three pieces of carpet that had the seams showing - so we took them up and laid cement and waterproofed the floor. Then we added carpet.


I believe this last picture is of Joe hard at work. He gets paid the big bucks you know!


This is just a picture of the last day of laying cement. Thank goodness I only had to do this for one day. I had some serious nose problems after I breathed in all of that cement dust.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Changing Leaves

I went out tonight to get some things from the store and for the first time this season the air outside actually felt and smelled like Fall. The smell and the feeling aren't really something describable but everytime they happen a wave of nostalgia washes over me. This is my favorite time of year.

As I drove I remembered living not too far from here on Mapleton Drive. I remembered raking leaves into piles in the neighbors yard only to have them wonder if my mom and dad put me up to it. I remember how one particular Fall all ChristyAnn and I would do was jump on her trampoline and make up dance routines to M.C. Hammer's "Can't Touch This." That all changed the next year because she had gone to summer camp and gotten rid of all of her "non-Christian" music. Even then I wasn't that big a fan of burning music. I remembered how every school year I would come home after the second or third day and crawl up in my mother's lap and cry and cry because I couldn't do the work. It was all too hard.

In High School Fall meant football games and eating at Denny's afterward. It meant trips to the beach on the weekends and Marching Competitions at Disney World. It meant Homecome (whether it was a dance or not) and lots of pictures.

Fall always meant new. It meant I was beginning again - new friends sometimes, always new challenges (some I thought I couldn't handle), new romances every once in a blue moon, new chances to grow.

What I don't remember was worry. I don't remember ever worrying while I was jumping on ChristyAnn's trampoline - unless there was homework to be done. I could face the next day with certainty because my entire future didn't hang on it - just a grade or two. I could trust that everything was going to be alright.

Today, as I reminisced I realized why I loved Fall and why so often there is also a little bit of sadness in the air. Fall used to mean change - change that always produced growth. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really growing and how to mark it. I used to have a marker (Washables if you must know). Fall also reminds me of a time when I used to have childlike faith. I believe that's what the Lord is teaching me right now as He leads me into something new - childlike faith. It's a simple trusting with wide, sparkly eyes and laughter. It's a faith that doesn't hold on to the edges or strain to see what's around the corner but basks in the moment.

Those are the two things I want this fall - growth and childlike faith.

Happy Oranges and Yellows,
Joy

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

I Heart Mexico City

I returned home yesterday from Mexico City with one pair of clean underwear, an entire suitcase of stinky clothes (no comments please team), a few souvenirs and an overwhelming knowledge that I had been and still am in the presence of God.

Before leaving and even during the first part of the week that we were there I wasn't expecting much from the Lord. I was just glad to be out of the country and a part of another mission trip. I really looked forward to it but I really thought it would be just another mission trip.

Throughout the course of the week what I learned was that God answers prayer that I don't remember uttering; he allows us to be a part of experiences that will forever teach us; he brings us into contact with other believers to strengthen His body of believers; he puts in frong of us impossible situations because He wants us to understand who completes the work.

The beginning part of the week was normal. We went to church on Sunday and began our construction on Monday - removing old flooring, laying cement, waterproofing the roof, cleaning away some mold and mildew in a room and a pit that backed up to the room, sealing the room, laying carpet. All these things we worked on all week long. None of us could have ever imagined that we would get them finished, not to mention the fact that eight out of the eleven of us got sick during the last part of the week. He truly completed all of these tasks.

Here's where it gets cool though. Wednesday and Thursday we were able to partner with a group in Mexico City called Casa Alianza (Covenant House). This organization works with street children. They go to them, play games with them, teach them about the dangers of drugs, sex trafficking, rape, living on the streets and then offer them a better choice - the choice to come and live at Casa Alianza. The deal is however, that in order to live at Casa Alianza, the kids have to be willing to leave behind their drugs. On Thursday I went to Casa Alianza. Because everything up to this point in the trip had been routine for me, I was really hoping that the Lord would challenge me this day - speak to me, change me, something. I had placed all my eggs in one basket for the Lord to do his part. So, we get to Casa Alianza and Emanuel and I are teamed up with Fransisco and Erika. We leave Casa Alianza to go talk to Juan about coming back to the crisis center with us. We find him curled up under newspaper right outside of a metro station asleep and can't convince him. Fransisco and Erika promise to come back on Saturday. The next stop is supposed to be at a hospital where a young boy had been admitted because he had swallowed the inhalent that most of the children who live on the street use. On the way there however, we found two boys sleeping at a metro station so we stopped and played uno with them for a while. Then Fransisco and Erika convinced them to come back to Casa Alianza with us for a shower and a change of clothes. Fransisco headed on to the hospital to visit the boy who swallowed the inhalent. When we got to the crisis center we simply played more games with Julian and Gabriel (the two boys) and then Erika walked them through some of the dangers of living on the street. They had just run away from home the day before and when asked said that no one would miss them. I was really hoping that they would choose to stay at the home but they just wanted the clothes and food and to return to the metro station. After that, Emanuel and I didn't leave the home. It was 12 and we weren't supposed to return to the children's home where we were staying all week until 5:00 and we were through for the day. When the other team returned I was so disappointed. They hadn't stopped all day. They had encounter after encounter with children who were huffing while talking to them, children who wouldn't give up their drugs, they played soccer with some. They just didn't quit until they came back to Casa Alianza. I was upset that I hadn't had a better day - that was supposed to be my challenge. That was the day I told the Lord to speak to me! When we returned to the Chidlren's Home I journaled some. I asked the Lord, no, I told the Lord that if that wasn't going to be the day that He needed to speak to me another day. Then, however, he removed a veil from my eyes and began to teach me things I hadn't thought of until then. He showed me that I continually ask for more while I'm in the States and when He gives me that gift - it isn't good enough. I need to be thankful for what He gives. He revealed to me that ministering to street children wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. Playing games with them was easy and I could do it! That wasn't something I expected. He showed me the fluidity those who work at Casa Alianza have. They had an appointment with someone else when they stopped to play Uno with those two young boys. If it had been me, I might would have kept going hoping they would be there on the way back. They understood the importance of every single child and they trusted that every single one would get visited that day. Then, the most important lesson I learned from those that work at Casa Alianza that day was persistance in the face of addiction. I learned what it looks like to keep hoping even when it seems like there is no hope. I saw what it must look like for the father to continually come after us. The folks at Casa Alianza offer so much more to these children than what they have - clean clothes, shelter, food, rehabilitation, and most importantly a future. Most of the time these children reject their offers because they want to remain where they are, where it is comfortable. It was an incredible picture to me that day of the God who pursues us.

Friday we finished the floors in the church and on Saturday we got to go to the Pyramids that the Aztecs built. Only two civilizations in the world built pyramids - the Egyptians and the Aztecs and I got to climb one of them. What a cool day - despite a sunburn on the back of my legs.

Then Sunday came. Gamaliel spoke that morning on Isaiah 6:1 - 8. What's funny is that I was content. I had learned my lesson (or so I thought) and had forgotten (almost) that I told the Lord to speak to me since he hadn't on the day I went to Casa Alianza (even though he obviously did). What's cool is that the Lord didn't forget my prayer and was faithful even though I didn't need him to speak or at least I didn't think I needed him to. Anyway, Gammy spoke and he talked about the Lord asking all of us the question "Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?" He talked about how the day he went with Casa Alianza he forgot that those children were dirty and stunk but remembered that the Lord loved them. He talked about the hard places that the Lord calls us to. I remembered then how I heard a sermon once about the verses after verse 8 where God tells Isaiah what He wants him to do. He tells him he will preach and preach and their hearts will get fat and that He will weed them away until only a stump is left. I just kept thinking about how it's not always easy what God calls us to do. Then I realized what I had been doing. I had been taking away what I promised the Lord. A long time ago I said to the Lord what Isaiah said, "Here am I. Send me!" When I was young he called me to be a missionary and since then he has been confirming it. The hard part however, is that Marty and I's callings don't line up and we have a hard time trying to figure out how it will work. So, Sunday morning I realized that what I had been doing was conditioning my response to God. I was telling him that perhaps short-term missions is what He's called me to do. I was telling him that perhaps since the challenge is harder at home that perhaps incarnational ministry is what He's called me to do. Sunday mornig he struck my heart. He told me that I couldn't do that anymore. I had given him all of myself a long time ago and I couldn't take it back. He wasn't taking His calling back - I couldn't take myself back. I was trying to figure it out on my own. He convicted me of that too. It's about trust and faith and allowing him to work it out.

All week long I kept remembering the verse, "Now unto him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine." (Ephesians 3:20) We never could've asked for or imagined the things that we accompished at the beginning of the week. We never could've even imagined a team like ours fitting together like it did. We never could've asked for anything that the Lord freely gave to us. When I got home I realized that's what the Lord wants me to claim for my life. I can't ask for or imagine big enough the things that He's going to give me. I can ask for the small - which is what I'm doing now and it seems huge but I know He'll give me more than that. I can't wait! I just have to hold on for the ride.

Bring it on Lord! Bring it on!

Friday, October 14, 2005

Isolation vs. Community

At the Catalyst Conference we watched a video about a group of families who share a house. Each family has a floor, they share a common eating space and they always share meals. These families, mind you, are not just married couples. They are married with children. They help raise each other's children and walk through life together. Sounds ideal, right?

On closer inspection, I thought, how would I feel about one of my friends disciplining my child? In essence, that's what they're allowing each other to do. How would I feel about always having someone else in my house - sharing meals, sharing living space? Who would do the dishes? Would there be rules and if so, someone, if not, everyone would break them. How often would there be fights? How often would I actually get along with my friends once I started to live with them?

One of the speakers at Catalyst (I think it was Bill Hybels but I can't be sure) said, "Young adults speak so openly about community and how you long for it but I rarely see you live it - take part in it." Ouch.

I want it. I talk about it. I desire it. But I live in isolation. I don't know my neighbors and I know that if I lived with any of my friends there would come a time when we would come close to losing our frienship.

Then I think, isn't that why we should choose community though? I can like you as long as your nice to me and as long as I show you everything that's great about me. Can I love you through your sin? Can I love you through your faults?

Marriage is a form of community - I can't choose to walk away from Marty. We're in this forever. But my friends? My neighbors? If you get on my nerves I can just walk away from you until it blows over. That's just not true friendship really. That's not true relationship. That's not true community.

It wouldn't be pretty, true community. However, I honestly believe that if the world could see a picture of community among Christians they would be drawn to Christ. They would see a love that passes from the superficial into what matters - the bone and the marrow.

I guess these are just the beginning thoughts and I haven't really come to any conclusion. I know I'm not ready to move into a house with another set of married friends. I know community looks different in different settings but what I'm tired of is talking about it and continuing to live in isolation.

Where does the rubber meet the road? Where do we begin?

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

The Catalyst Conference

Last Thursday and Friday I was able to attend the Catalyst Conference where I got to hear Andy Stanley, Louie Giglio, Donald Miller, Malcolm Gladwell and Erwin McManus speak. I've just been going through my notes and I'm overwhelmed at the knowledge God imparted to me through these speakers in just a short amount of time. I want to make sure I unwrap it all and do so slowly so that I don't miss anything but for today I wanted to share with you the notes I took from Erwin McManus' session. By far, he was the one who spoke to me the most and I believe he is speaking to the church. He is a prophetic voice for this time. So, I thought I would share.

John 9. This is the Scripture verse where Jesus heals a blind man by putting spitting in the dirt, making mud and putting it on his eyes. Then he tells the blind man who now has mud all over his face to go to the pool of Siloam and wash it off. Right! How does the blind man get there? Why doesn't Jesus just touch him and heal him? Erwin explained that the word Siloam means sent. And here's where it starts to get really good.

We're all chasing daylight - like the blind man. Sometimes we're just like the blind man, walking around with mud caked on our face but we all must go to the place we're sent. Jesus won't do everything for us - he wants us to go. He's sending us. There are some things Jesus leaves for us to do. Many times it doesn't make sense to anyone else except us.

Then Erwin said there are five paradigm shifts the church has to make in order to stop being relevant and to start leading the way! We let culture dictate our order, our programs, our ministry. We need to be leading the way, not trying to catch up. He said that the following five things will enable us to lead the way.

1. We need to shift from standardization to uniqueness. We're known for standardization. We tell people they have to become like everyone else. We lose our instinct for what's real. If you want to find out God's unique fingerprint on your life go where Jesus is.

2. We need to move from utility to creativity. We plug people in rather than try to light them up. (I think this one was my favorite one) Move from visionary to visional. Move from a dream God has given us to a people who God has given dreams! We need to become a people who believe in the passionate gifting of every human being. Become the place where people discover that people were created to create. The sin that is consuming us is average. The defining moment of this movement is that it would be full of dreamers and visionaries.

3. We need to shift from homogeny to diversity. We need to be a place where we actually start liking people (yikes) - people different than us. You want people to go to church with you but you don't want people to live their lives with you. You want the church to be a lie. People don't leave their tribes without their leaders. Make space for leaders who are different than us. Homogeny communicates that we are everything. People should be your highest value. Go out and love them into a relationship with God.

4. Reject pragmatism and move toward mysticism. People are becoming increasingly spiritual and people are walking away from the church because they don't consider the church spiritual enough. We are intrinsically spirits and we know stuff we don't know how we know (he gave the example here of Peter knowing Christ was the Son of God and Jesus told him there was no other way he could have known that than by the spirit). Step into the invisible reality of the kingdom of God. You know when you love someone? You can't test that. We need to become a movement of mystical warriors. People are looking for evidence that you have been with God.

5. Shift from conviction to compassion! (My heart sang and was convicted all at the same time over this one.) The Holy Spirit convicts. He tells us to go and be compassion and wrap them in this insane love. People without God are asking if love really exists.

All this that is happening is to bring him glory - even if we have to go there with mud on our face.

Woohoo! Go Erwin! That's all I wanted to say for the rest of the day!

Friday, September 30, 2005

19 Women Rescued from Brothel in Britain!!

He's setting the captives free! Hallelujah!
I took a trip to the beach last week. While hanging out with my family was incredible - some other really great stuff happened. So, here they are.

I realized that for far too long I have been placing my worth in earthly terms and seeing myself perhaps how other people do or don't see me instead of trying to hear and understand how my Father sees me. I've really got to start listening to him speak his love for me more often. A couple of weeks ago I read the verse in Psalm 139 that says, "I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Say what? I have never praised him for that. If anything I have only cursed him for how I am made. I've praised him for who He is but never for who I am. But His word says I should so - I'm going to start. My earthly relationships hinge on how well I understand how much He loves me. I can't give something I don't understand.

The other thing I learned is that understanding my self worth is a part of the freedom He gives through His spirit. When it comes to freedom I'm really not grasping the full picture. You know that commercial where the girl is walking down the street listening to an MP3 player that is also her cell phone and her shadow is dancing around like crazy? Most of the time I feel like that's me. Like there's this other person just dying to get out and start dancing but she can't because I'm restricting her to the rules that have bound me for so long - the rules of church, the rules of what you're supposed to look like as a good girl, the rules of how much you're supposed to be involved and what you are or aren't supposed to say. All she wants to do is dance - there's praise in that, praise to the Father and good church girls just don't dance - even when the song that's playing is a praise and worship song. So, I'm working on understanding the freedom God gives and how to use it to edify the church. There's an entirely new ball of wax.

The last thing God rekindled in me was the desire He has always seemed to blow on. After months of simply being - he reminded me this week of my place within His will as servant and friend and that neither one of those titles are inactive - but active and require great faith and perhaps huge amounts of trust to be carried out. I'm not okay with the idea that there are 33,000 people dying of malnutrition everyday and that I spend most of my time every week in an office building where I do little to change that fact. I'm not okay with the idea that there are even more people who don't know the love of my Savior and are dying without him and I do even less about that! My sin of inaction was overwhelming this week. I've been asking him for years now to use me. I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. I want out of my comfort zone. I want out of a comfortable life and into something that makes a difference.

What I'm grateful for is that while the Lord was speaking to me about faith - He was also speaking to Marty about faith. I'm so glad I have a husband who is seeking the same way I am and that we're both after something that we understand is bigger than ourselves.

How about you? What's the Lord saying to you right now?

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

I'M GOING TO SEE COLDPLAY TONIGHT!!!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

I hate this feeling. Failure. It comes out of nowhere most days. It sucks the most when you've really been trying hard to accomplish something - to conquer that which seems to keep tripping you up. And there you are again - flat on your face, feeling as if nothing has been learned. This struggle is hard.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Found this here

I found this great article this morning on the armybarmy blog. Stephen Court posted it but I don't want anyone to miss it. So, I'm going to put it here as well. It's an article an aethiest wrote to a newspaper. He's also written a book on the Booths. See what you think.

Faith Does Breed Charity We atheists have to accept that most believers are better human beings. Roy Hattersley By Guardian Newspapers, 9/12/2005


Hurricane Katrina did not stay on the front pages for long. Yesterday's Red Cross appeal for an extra 40,000 volunteer workers was virtually ignored. The disaster will return to the headlines when one sort of newspaper reports a particularly gruesome discovery or another finds additional evidence of President Bush's negligence. But month after month of unremitting suffering is not news. Nor is the monotonous performance of the unpleasant tasks that relieve the pain and anguish of the old, the sick and the homeless - the tasks in which the Salvation Army specialise. The Salvation Army has been given a special status as provider-in-chief of American disaster relief. But its work is being augmented by all sorts of other groups. Almost all of them have a religious origin and character. Notable by their absence are teams from rationalist societies, free thinkers' clubs and atheists' associations - the sort of people who not only scoff at religion's intellectual absurdity but also regard it as a positive force for evil. The arguments against religion are well known and persuasive. Faith schools, as they are now called, have left sectarian scars on Northern Ireland. Stem-cell research is forbidden because an imaginary God - who is not enough of a philosopher to realise that the ingenuity of a scientist is just as natural as the instinct of Rousseau's noble savage - condemns what he does not understand and the churches that follow his teaching forbid their members to pursue cures for lethal diseases. Yet men and women who believe that the Pope is the devil incarnate, or (conversely) regard his ex cathedra pronouncements as holy writ, are the people most likely to take the risks and make the sacrifices involved in helping others. Last week a middle-ranking officer of the Salvation Army, who gave up a well-paid job to devote his life to the poor, attempted to convince me that homosexuality is a mortal sin. Late at night, on the streets of one of our great cities, that man offers friendship as well as help to the most degraded and (to those of a censorious turn of mind) degenerate human beings who exist just outside the boundaries of our society. And he does what he believes to be his Christian duty without the slightest suggestion of disapproval. Yet, for much of his time, he is meeting needs that result from conduct he regards as intrinsically wicked. Civilised people do not believe that drug addiction and male prostitution offend against divine ordinance. But those who do are the men and women most willing to change the fetid bandages, replace the sodden sleeping bags and - probably most difficult of all - argue, without a trace of impatience, that the time has come for some serious medical treatment. Good works, John Wesley insisted, are no guarantee of a place in heaven. But they are most likely to be performed by people who believe that heaven exists. The correlation is so clear that it is impossible to doubt that faith and charity go hand in hand. The close relationship may have something to do with the belief that we are all God's children, or it may be the result of a primitive conviction that, although helping others is no guarantee of salvation, it is prudent to be recorded in a book of gold, like James Leigh Hunt's Abu Ben Adam, as "one who loves his fellow men". Whatever the reason, believers answer the call, and not just the Salvation Army. When I was a local councillor, the Little Sisters of the Poor - right at the other end of the theological spectrum - did the weekly washing for women in back-to-back houses who were too ill to scrub for themselves. It ought to be possible to live a Christian life without being a Christian or, better still, to take Christianity à la carte. The Bible is so full of contradictions that we can accept or reject its moral advice according to taste. Yet men and women who, like me, cannot accept the mysteries and the miracles do not go out with the Salvation Army at night. The only possible conclusion is that faith comes with a packet of moral imperatives that, while they do not condition the attitude of all believers, influence enough of them to make them morally superior to atheists like me. The truth may make us free. But it has not made us as admirable as the average captain in the Salvation Army. © Guardian Newspapers Limited

Friday, September 16, 2005

Morning Blend

This morning I went to Starbucks. I ordered something much closer to desert than coffee. I asked them to make it "light" so that I wouldn't feel bad about my choice. Then....oh, and then....they let me call it breakfast!!!

Oh how I love Starbucks!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Leading from the Margins

I never read links. Hardly ever. But the article linked to the title is worth the read. It was relevant to me anyway. I hope you enjoy!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

I've been thinking a lot about my last post. The truth is I have a lot less grace than that line says. I'm not saying I want to give up on it - I'm just saying I haven't even gotten it right where it counts (really, where doesn't it count). Anyway, just another thought.

Friday, September 09, 2005

"Sunset sailing on April's skies
Bloodshot Fireclouds in your eyes
I can't say what I might believe
But if God made you he's in love with me"
~Five for Fighting

I ran across this song one day driving home in the middle of a thunderstorm. When he got to that line - if God made you he's in love with me - I had a mental halt. Everything started swirling and I just thought "how true that statement is!" I know it's a love song from a guy to a girl. So what it's also about broken pieces. I just kept thinking about that line and how, if we could all just wrap our minds around it for each other how we could actually just grasp on to the way the Lord wants us to live our lives as the body of Christ - and not just the body but as followers of Jesus in a broken world.

I want that to be my motto. Not if but since. "Since God made you he's in love with me." He made us for each other. To enjoy - not judge. To love - not mock. To befriend - not alienate. To pray for and with - not despise. How often do I get that wrong. I wish I could tattoo that in my heart and on my mind. I wish that line would run through my thoughts every time I looked at someone so that my heart and mind couldn't go to the base things like types of clothes or hairstyles, the way a person speaks or eats. All those things begin to matter so much to us don't they? And yet Since God made you, he's in love with me! It's an incredible revelation to me that I have not fully grasped and certainly have not put fully into practice. But I know I want to try.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:16 - 18

Monday, September 05, 2005

Warning! Controversial Content Included!

"I'll never give to another third world country again," she said to me as I sat waiting for one of the phones to ring. I just simply nodded my head. I didn't have the time and I didn't know if it was the place to go into the discussion.

We were sitting in the room at The Salvation Army answering the calls coming in from people wanting to know how they could help and other calls from people wanting to know how they could receive help. I was and I'm still amazed at the amount of people who want to give of their time and their money and their resources. I shouldn't be though.

Anyway, she said that to me and it hasn't left my head ever since. I guess I couldn't get past the short-sightedness of the comment.

What I want everyone to know is that I understand the incredible loss we have suffered in this nation. I know that there have been probably thousands who have lost their lives and many more who have lost jobs, homes, cars, family, everything. What I haven't lost sight of though is that no matter what - this country is still better off than any third world country. At least many of those who have been displaced have shelters to where they can go. When the Tsunami hit Thailand last year I don't believe that was an option for most. What I also know is that the President has also already given $10 billion as a down payment to the recovery of this country. I don't remember what his gift was to those affected by the Tsunami but I don't think it came close.

Anyway, all I know is that third world countries will still need our help in the middle of this and after this and I hated to hear someone say that she'd never give again. Yes, I believe we should give to our fellow Americans - over and over again we should give. But please, I'm begging, let's not forget to give to those that would look at our poverty level and think they had struck it rich.

Thanks,
Joy

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

I spoke with my mom this morning for the first time since the hurricane. She lives in Jackson, MS so there's no huge damage done there - just wind damage and a loss of power. Every kind of help is being diverted from there to areas that were hit harder which you can understand. My dad's in Biloxi trying to help in any way possible. The Salvation Army is doing what it can in providing meals, shelter, water and anything else that is possible. The astonishing thing to me is that they haven't heard what we've heard. They haven't heard that this hurricane has hit some places harder than Camille and done more damage in some places than that hurricane. They don't know what the news is saying about the total amount of damage across the states. They don't have power - no TV, hardly any radio - how could they know? I was shocked by that fact when I was the one who told my mom this morning the extent of the damage.

Then on the way to work I was listening to the radio and I heard the DJs wondering how long it would be before Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson came out with a statement about how this was God's wrath - his way of laying to waste the casinos and the sin in those cities. They talked about a statue of Jesus that still stands and how there's an apartment complex nearby that had 30 people killed in it. I wanted to call the radio station and apologize for Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. I wanted to apologize for the fact that they've made God seem like someone who's so unfeeling and uncaring. I wanted to apologize to them for not having a bigger voice and allowing them to be the "voice of Christians" in America. I can't understand why the rest of us have allowed that to happen - especially today when I know that no matter what the reason is behind the hurricane, my God stands beside every person who is grieving and holds them.

Then this morning I got to work and I read Psalm 46. "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." Then later it says, "The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."

There is no land, no building, no place on earth that can save us - only God and he dwells not in time or space but beyond time and space and that's where our refuge lies. I'm not a person who was devastated by the storm. What I don't want to do is sell anyone any platitudes. These verses just spoke to me. So often I wish I could get past what's temporary and realize the value, the true value of the eternal. I just hope that those who were caught in the storm have the opportunity and the chance to talk to someone who will lead them to TRUE REFUGE while their temporary shelters are restored and their temporary needs are met.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

"We must learn to detect, without great sign, the still, small voice of God. He will not fight for our attention; He must be sought...to sense the holy quiet of God, our other activities must cease. In our world of great pressures and continual distractions, the attentions of our heart must rise to the invisible world of God's Spirit. We must learn to see Him who is unseen." ~Francine Frangipane

"without great sign"

I'm still trying to learn how to hear him. I'm been trying to learn this for years now and once I think I get it, I end up right back at the beginning.

You'll have to excuse me for a while. I feel it's necessary to not write for a season. I think everyone might go through it - I don't know. I'm just hitting a dry spell right now and need to sort some things out.

I'll be back though. Until then, May we seek him and learn to detect his still, small voice - without great sign. That's going to take some work I think.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Resigning

Yes, I'm resigning. I'm resigning from a position I've held since I was 14 and for perhaps a year too long. I wrote the email on Wednesday letting the director know. I quit, I'm out, I'm gone. Thank you for the years I've been allowed to play a part but as of Labor Day I won't be here anymore. It had been coming. I had to work up the nerve really. It's quite hard to tell Dr. Holz that you're quitting the Songsters. I know - perhaps it shouldn't be that big a deal but to a man whose entire life revolves around music it is and will be. He hasn't sent an email back. I'm scared that he's just waiting around the next corner ready to pounce. He doesn't take no for an answer.

What's really sad is that to most people this shouldn't even get a blip on the screen much less an entire post. Perhaps my life isn't all that interesting right now and I can't think of anything else. However, I just think it's a shift. For far too long my only service to the church was the tiny talent I have in music - playing a horn, singing in the songsters. Now, I'm giving it all up to walk out my gifts. I'm blessed that the Lord is giving me the opportunity to use my gifts, blessed that He's given me friends who are walking this journey with me. Come Labor Day we are switching our visitation day in the apartment complex to Tuesdays and then about three weeks after that we're going to start teaching SONDay's Cool to the kids who live there on Thursdays. How cool is that? I'm giving up a career in singing to teach kids the Good News! I'm so excited about my resignation!

I would even venture to say that perhaps more should consider it.
Grace,
Joy

Friday, July 29, 2005

Eternal Impact

This past Wednesday night was Cultural Night for the Service Corps (the two mission teams I sent to Russia and Chile for 6 weeks this summer). Every year we do an evening like this at the end of each teams trip, I invite their family and friends, people from the Army to come see and hear what they've learned and what they've experienced. I love this night because it's a chance for other people to get to share in my joy. I get to hear all summer long what's going on in the lives of 13 young adults who are changing just by coming into contact with another culture and opening their eyes wide to a God who is and who has always been bigger than they could've dreamed. On Cultural Night, everyone else gets a picture of it as well.

The best thing about it all though is what happens in my heart as I watch them give their testimonies and sing the songs they've learned or perform the mimes or timbrel drills they've perfected. Every year it happens. I never expect it yet it always comes in a wave a great emotion. This year it happened as the Russian team sang their last song near the end of the program and it was a sweet song in Russian none of which I understood. And as they sang and as the next program item happened, tears simply fell down my cheeks. I couldn't explain it except that there was this prayer happening at that point in my heart going up to the Father that simply went like this, "Father, thank you for allowing me to be a part of their journey." That was all I could say. It doesn't happen often but every year on that night God shows me some of the eternal impact I'm making and I can't even begin to describe what that feels like. I know I won't be here forever but for now I know that their are 13 young adults in this world whose lives are richer and deeper because they came in contact with a God who wanted to take them somewhere new to teach them about Himself and His children. How blessed I am to get to be a part of that.

Every year I'm jealous that they get to go. I know why I need to stay - especially after this year's mishaps with missing visas and messed up planes tickets and last minute plans because of these things but at the end when I hear their stories - it almost feels like I got to go with them anyway.

I'm grateful to my God who is so big and so mysterious for allowing me to be such a small part in His game plan. It's the coolest feeling in the world.

Thank you Father.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The other side of music...

So, many of you will have read Marty's most recent blog about his journey to a solo album. All of his info is listed at the link above. He's now attempting two blogs not one - go figure.

Last week Marty and I sat down with good friends who are helping Marty realize this dream. They were there for me as well. I had a lot of questions but I think most of it was a faith issue. That's what lies on the other side of music - when your life is tied to a musician's and you choose to get in the passenger's seat and take this ride with him - faith. Last Wednesday I realized that. Actually, I realized it a lot sooner and just didn't want to face that beast because it meant naming my shortcoming.

My shortcoming was never that I didn't believe in my husband or that he wasn't good enough to record a solo album. My shortcoming was never that I didn't believe that he was good enough to make it somewhere other than the world that most normal people live in - the one where the majority of people DON'T know your name. My shortcoming is that I DID believe those things and I DIDN'T and possibly still DON'T want those things. I'm scared of what they mean. I'm scared of what they could mean for the time he would spend away from me (we already spend enough time away from each other as it is). I'm scared of what this road would mean when I've been praying for one that would lead us into ministry TOGETHER! So, we talked - and I cried - and he explained.

What I know is that this is what the Lord, the Holy One of Israel, the One who created the Heavens and the Earth, is calling my husband to do right now - so I have to trust that - no matter what the future might bring. The other thing I know is that as passionate as Marty is about God and God in music that God will be glorified through this and that's all a girl can ask.

Everything else I lay into the Master's hands and ask Him to mold into His perfect and pleasing will. He will do with us what He pleases and we will always sing His praises (one of us a little bit more pleasantly than the other).

So, this, my friends is what is required on the other side of music, when you climb on board and strap yourself in, there's no turning back.

Lord, please continue to give the faith and the grace I need to walk into the future you have planned for us.

For the rest of you, may the Lord place you in a position where you have to grow.
Grace,
Joy

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Learning...

A list of things I'm trying to learn

1. That God's grace to me is unfathomable and I am most of the time unaware of it.
2. That I need to live a life conscious of His grace towards me.
3. That pride comes in many forms - mine so happens to be judgementalism.
4. That the Lord's Word isn't all that practical if I read it in the morning and then forget what it says by noon.
5. That I doubt Him more than I think I do.
6. That He does way more than I could ever EVER ask OR IMAGINE! How cool is that?
7. A renewing of the mind isn't just about the mind.
8. Forgiveness isn't forgiveness unless it's complete - never to be brought up again. Imagine that.

I was going to go for 10 but learning 8 things all at once is pretty hard and Marty just called and said it's time to go. Actually he said, "It's time to blow this popsicle joint." Does anybody know where that saying came from?

Thanks for reading.
Still learning,
Joy

Sailing Away!

Oh, I love cruises. I hate work.

Last week my entire extended family (14 of us) and I got on a beautiful ship and sailed away to Mexico. We enjoyed the lovely see through blue waters of the Gulf of Mexico and all that goes with it. On Wednesday, for Marty's birthday, we celebrated by going to Xcaret and floating down this underground river that flows through caves and some of the structures at Xcaret. That was so relaxing. You could also snorkel there and see gorgeous blue fish or yellow and black striped fish. Several times I lifted my head up out of the water and began to talk to my brother and sister-in-law and neither one of them were around me. Once I grabbed a hold of Danielle's fin only to figure out that it was some 13 year old boy that I had been talking to and he had just been staring at me for 30 seconds while I heard Danielle's voice echo through the cave. I laughed for a good minute.

My favorite part of the day though was going into the butterfly aviary. Butterflies are so gorgeous - pink, yellow, red, orange. They were everywhere! We got to see dolphins that day and jaguars and a Mayan cemetary. It was all very educational and wonderful.

The next day we went shopping in Cozumel. Loved that! Got some pottery pieces that tell the story of the Mexican people. Yeah! That afternoon we went to a beach called Paradise Island and Matt, Danielle, Nick (my cousin's husband) and I rode in Kayaks and jumped on one of those trampolines they put in the water. I laughed more on that trampoline than I did all week.

Over all I had this incredibly fantastic vacation and I came home way too soon. However, upon returning Marty and I received incredible news that our friends Sarah and Phil gave birth to a beautiful 6 pound 7.8 ounce baby boy named Samuel. He's absolutely adorable.

One thing I regret however is that I missed an incredible opportunity to put the Lord in the center of our rejoicing. Doesn't it always seem that way? That you go away on vacation and, at least for me, my devotional life goes on vacation too. When I got back on land I realized how much I hadn't talked to the Lord all week and how much I hadn't spent time with him. At that point my need for him was so great and my disappointment in myself was extreme. I want to learn how to put Him in the center of our rejoicing - not forget Him during our greatest times together. I've got a lot of learning to do.

Learning about grace,
Joy

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Good News!

Just some news worth the read!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/4083676.stm

Enjoy!
Joy

Can't Wait!

I've got one week left until I go on vacation and I can't wait! Marty and I leave next Thursday afternoon for my parent's house in Jackson and then on July 4 we get on board a beautiful cruise ship and head to Cozumel and Calica - places we've been before but this time we're going with my entire family. A little scarey that my Granny is going to be just a couple of rooms down the hall from me but I don't care - at least this vacation my door will have a lock and only Marty and I will have the key!

Marty will also celebrate his birthday while on the boat and so I'm trying to think of something fun to get him while we're on the ship. Anybody got any ideas?

All I know is I'm ready for a little relaxation. I love my job and I love the part of my job where I get to train and send the mission teams but this year it was extra challenging and I'm ready for a little time off before they return home. One team this year just would not leave the country. It wasn't their fault. They wanted to go more than anything but they were headed to Russia - a country that's difficult to get visas from and then when the visas don't come on time, a country even more difficult to get plane tickets into. So, they were here with me an extra week. We had a good time together though. We went to the Urban Missions Conference here in Atlanta and learned some really important things about living a life of mission and not just leaving the country for mission. It's about living intentionally where you are. That's exciting to me and I'm excited to know that I'm learning how to do that and trying my best to impart that to others.

I hope with all I am that they return home from this summer with a love for mission - mission overseas and a mission for the everyday when they can't be overseas. So, yes, my job this year training short-term missionaries was a little bit more difficult and while I still look longingly toward my vacation, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. This world needs Christians with a broader picture of God than the one so many North Americans tend to see.

The things I'm looking forward to the most on the cruise? The sun, my family, eating until I'm sick, getting off the boat in exciting new places and just simply being who I am for a few days without any stress. Hallelujah!

Don't forget to send me suggestions about what to get Marty for his birthday - I welcome them - all of them!

Joy

Monday, June 06, 2005

Breathing...So this is what it's like

It's Monday afternoon and today has been the first day that I've actually felt rested and able to breathe since last Thursday. The Salvation Army held a conference this past weekend and I helped in the kid's venue. I think that I forgot to let those for whom I was working know that kids aren't really my forte. I don't have a hard time dealing with them but they suck all of the life out of me faster than air can escape from a balloon. So, eating lunch yesterday after it was all over was a relief.

Today I'm where I love to be - in my element. This week is Service Corps Orientation and there are 14 young adults with me here at camp who are excited about going onto the mission field. It's so exciting watching them learn and grow and come alive and then go. What's even cooler is that in 6 weeks I'll get to pick them up from the airport and hear their stories. That's the best part - seeing how they grew.

Best part of my weekend I think though was when Rosa an officer with whom my Service Corps spent a week in the Algarve of Portugal showed up in the Kids venue to say hello. She remembered me, had talked to my mom and wanted to come say hello. You know what she let me know? Our team is still making an impact. They're choosing to work in teams in Portugal for ministry instead of alone. She said we taught them that. Go figure. Something that I thought had failed so miserably was actually used by God. He's so faithful even when we're not. I can't believe that I still have connections there from a time so long ago and a place that I couldn't understand why God had sent me. This story just keeps getting better.

Breathing this morning was lovely. Walking around camp and just taking in the beauty of God's creation. Talking to him about some things that I'm not quite certain about in my future and Marty's. Trust is so hard sometimes when He doesn't give all the pieces to the puzzle. It was nice though just talking with him in a way I hadn't in a long time.

It's cool to know that God's telling both Marty and I right now that we can't dream big enough. That's pretty cool. We'll see what happens. I love the fact that he gave us both the same Scripture verse within a week of each other. His love is so amazing.

Sorry it's been so long since an update. Hopefully they'll come more frequently from now on - until the next busy season of course.

Love one another,
Joy

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Moscow, St. Petersburg and the Train....duh duh duh

So, the basic question you get when you return from a trip overseas is, "How was..." "How was Portugal?" "How was the Dominican Republic?" "How was Mexico?" And the latest one I've gotten which I'm so thankful to people for asking is "How was Russia?" I don't think anyone knows just how loaded a question that is though. It's not a question that a person should ask unless they're ready to listen for at least 10 minutes if not 30. Just a minor digression on a single question at the beginning of this blog. Sorry about that. I will now try to answer the question itself. So, you ask, "How was Russia?" I think the best way for me to answer that is to break the trip up into Highs and Lows. I think I'll start with the Highs.

Highs: Above all, the best part of the trip was being able to see, taste, touch, and smell a lot of the things that the mission team that I am sending to Russia this summer will see, taste, touch and smell. In the past I've sent them without knowing but I went ahead of them and can better prepare them now. Hopefully I helped the hosts understand some of the difficulties that may arise concerning transportation and luggage that are always a problem when Americans arrive in a foreign country. I got to help plan their schedule - that was cool. Now I know what they'll be doing and where they'll be! Second highlight and would probably be a lifetime dream fulfilled, I got to go to the Hermitage in St. Petersburg which used to be the Winter Palace for the Czars. I got to walk in their throne rooms and see where they ate, slept, read. However, the coolest part of it all was that the Hermitage also houses Rembrandt paintings. I STOOD IN FRONT OF REMBRANDT'S PRODIGAL SON!! I think my jaw probably hit the floor. Ever since I was in High School I have wanted to see this painting in person and on a strange Saturday afternoon without expecting it, all of a sudden, there I was. I almost cried. That was my moment with the Lord. I'm so absolutely thankful that He has allowed me to return to him. Another high - St. Basil's Cathedral. I just got to see the outside of it but it's the cathedral that you see in every picture of Moscow. It's so colorful and lively. I didn't even go inside. I didn't have to. The outside of the building was magnificent. Like something from a dream. I loved it.
Other highs - becoming friends with the Kooznetsovs, the team's hosts for the summer. Eating some of the Russian food (this could also be a low). Going to the Opera and seeing Figaro. Spending time with the Caldwells at their flat, enjoying breakfast with them, talking about friends from home, hearing what it's like to live there, getting to hear about their passion. That was really cool!

Lows - Spending two nights on a train where I had to sleep on something not quite as wide as a church pew and definitely not as comfortable. Jet lag. Being the only American around for most of the trip. I think I would've enjoyed everything more if I could've had Marty with me or just one more person there to understand my jokes - they don't translate even if the people you're with speak English. The train - yuck, too many people in too small a space. I thought Atlanta traffic was bad, Moscow's traffic is worse. Salty fish and some sort of meet with gel on top. Olga's snoring. But I think the hardest thing about being gone was just not having enough alone time or sleep. Truth be told, the hardest thing about being home is not enough sleep - so I don't really know what I'm complaining about.

The trip was great. I met a lot of really cool people and got to see a lot of really amazing things. I forgot to mention the Kremlin earlier. That was pretty cool to see. They've got some great chocolate in Russia too. They're history will dumbfound you. The visit was a pretty great trip and I know that the team will love it. I hope they make the most out of it while they are there and pour themselves out. I hope they try harder than I did too.

I'm going to try and get my pictures put into an online photo album, once I do, maybe I'll add a link here so you can see.
Talk to you all soon,
Joy

Monday, May 09, 2005

Deliquent

So, I've been an absent blogger lately. I must apologize. I realized this past weekend that I have been gone for way too long. I am sorry. Please forgive me.

Marty and I were having a slight argument - more like a debate over who is the better blogger and now I'm wondering if all of my wonderful blogging friends could help me out. I'm not necessarily talking content - just merely frequency.

So, here's what I'm wondering. If you know both Marty and I and have an opinion concerning this topic, would you mind leaving a comment just letting me know who you think is better at keeping you updated on the happending of our lives. It doesn't have to be long - just a you or a Marty would work.

I just want to find out what the general public thinks.
Thanks,
Joy

P.S. I'll hopefully update later this week concerning my trips to Russia, Youth Worker's Conference, Savannah and VA. Beach - all of which were quite amazing. I'll make sure I break them down into bite size chunks so that they don't take up too much of your day. Until then, Grace.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Something on the Horizon

For the last six to eight weeks or so, we've been having a Bible Study at Marty and I's house but it wasn't just a Bible study it was more of an adventure. Kelly, Jason, Marty and I have felt for a long time now that there has to be more to this life than just going to church on Sunday mornings and Wednesdays - so we've been trying for over a year now to figure out what to do and where to do it. We also figured out that we probably couldn't do it on our own. We also realized that we weren't the only ones who had this indescribable passion for something more. So, we began a Bible study to investigate the ways to do church that are happening in other areas and that aren't traditional or normal that draw people who normally wouldn't step foot inside a church to Jesus.

So, anyway, we're at the beginning of the action stage and it's getting really exciting! Jason has a friend who is in charge of an organization called Whirlwind mission. They donate apartments to people with vision and pay for the resources you might need and then you begin programming in that apartment complex. Well, Jason already has the apt. and the resources. Last night we talked about how Lucy - wonderful, dedicated, workhorse Lucy has already recruited a ton of people to be in on this adventure, and about what type of ministries we would really like to see happen there. It's wonderful and amazing and I get to be a part of it! Thank you Lord for allowing us to see the beginning of answered prayer and for walking us through this. Thank you for the faith to believe that what you have begun you will carry on through completion. You are an amazing Father!

I hope you all have a blessed day!

P.S. I'm going to Russia to do a set-up trip for the Salvationist Service Corps team that will be travelling there this summer. Sorry if I confused anyone. BTW, I actually sent off for my visa yesterday and should have it by Monday - just in time for my departure on Wednesday. Now I just need to figure out where I'll be laying my head while I'm there. This is so much fun!

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Ugh!

I leave for Russia in a week and a day! I should be excited but right now I'm just worried and stressed. I haven't even sent off for my visa yet because I don't have a hotel reservation yet because I can't get someone to tell me if I have the right address and on top of that I don't have the right credit card. I tried calling the Eastern Europe THQ yesterday at about 2:30 our time, completely forgetting there is a time change (duh) and I got an angry man on the other end of the line screaming at me "Niet Niet Niet...No No No." "Okay, thank you sir." And a polite hang up. That was actually quite funny. How could I not know that they are 8 hours ahead and that I called a poor man at 10:30 in the evening. Then I feel extra guilty because I asked my friend Jason to come in to work with me early this morning to call and be my translator and the woman who answered the phone spoke English! So he got up early this morning and came here for nothing. Sorry Jason! Anyway, it turns out everyone that I need to speak to in Russia is in Spain! So, now I'm a week and a day away from going to Russia and have no one to call and still no answers. I'm a little scared at this point. If you're reading this and it's before April 13, would you mind saying short prayer for my trip - I'll be gone from the 13 to the 19. Thank you!

Lord, please make the crooked way straight. I want to do this for your glory and to prepare the way for your servants who will go there after me so that they might glorify your name. I love you, Amen.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Cool Quote Friday - A Day Early and Six Days Late!

I'm sorry to everyone who waited so anxiously last Friday for a quote and didn't get one. Good Friday would've been the perfect opportunity but it simply got away from me.
I'm posting two today to make up for it. One for last Friday and one for tomorrow since I won't have the chance tomorrow. I've found some pretty fantastic and challenging things out of the book Devotional Classics. So, here they are.

"It ought to be tremendously helpful to be able to acquire the habit of reaching out strongly after God's thoughts, and to ask, 'God, what have you to put into my mind now if only I can be large enough?' That waiting, eager attitude ought to give God the chance he needs." ~Frank Laubach

I want to be brave enough to ask God that question.

"In 'thanksgiving' we recount blessings received and thus strengthen our confidence and enable ourselves to wait trustingly for what we pray." ~Martin Luther

It's true you know. When you remember what he's done for you and what he's given you - what he's brought you through, it's not too hard to wait for what you know He wants to give you.

I hope your weekend will be tremendous. Marty and I will be in Hagerstown, Maryland for their Youth Councils. I'm actually speaking tomorrow night for their young adult meeting. Please keep me in your prayers. Speaking always makes me nervous but I'm excited as well.

Grace and Justice,
Joy

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

The beginning of an addiction...

Since college I've always loved Mountain Dew. It's one of those things that just makes me want to sit back, kick off my shoes and enjoy a nice warm day. Every once in a while, however, the NEED for a Mountain Dew kicks in - mostly because I had little to no sleep the night before and I'm feeling it the next day. The funny thing is I usually guage my intake of caffiene - make sure I don't have it too close to bedtime, don't have too much in one week, make sure I drink all 64 oz. of water every day. Yes, I'm that anal about my liquids - if only I were that way concerning my consumption of food.

Anyway, about two weeks ago, Marty and I stopped at Taco Bell (by the way, ranked number 2 in cleanliness out of Fast Food restaurants for the city)and I ordered my dinner and because it was a combo (see what I mean about my food consumption?) I got one of the HUGE cups to put anything I like in it and of course, I chose Mountain Dew. Well, at first I chose that Mountain Dew Baja Blast junk - gross, don't ever put that stuff in your mouth. So, anyway, I drank the vat of Mt. Dew and savored every minute. It had been a hard day and I needed a pick me up. What I didn't realize was how far it would pick me up and for how long.

Fast forward a couple of hours. It is now about 10 o'clock, maybe 10:30 and I'm lying in a dark room, eyes wide open. I hear the front door open and I just lay there - waiting. Waiting for my chance. What chance you ask?

MY CHANCE TO TALK MARTY'S HEAD OFF FOR THE NEXT HALF HOUR!! Poor guy. He came in the room, tired from a hard days work and I start blabbing. "I'm wide awake. Are you? I don't think I'll ever go to sleep. What was I thinking drinking that much Mt. Dew so close to bedtime? Did you have a good day? What did you do? Where did you go? How were classes?" (please note I'm not waiting for a response)

AND THEN...it hits me like a bolt of lightening.

"Oh no! Marty! This Mt. Dew is going to keep me up all night! Then tomorrow morning I'll be so tired that I won't be able to stay awake at work and I'll need another Mt. Dew just to make it through the day. Then I won't be able to sleep again tomorrow night.....(insert huge gasp here) This is the beginning of an addiction!

I know...quite possibly not that funny in the blog world as it was at 10:30 at night as Marty was trying to fall asleep. Needless to say, it hasn't become an addiction for those of you who were worried. I'm still drinking my water although I do believe that my caffeine consumption has increased quite a bit since that evening.

Oh well!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Working mission into life

Please read the link above - particularly the post called "you must be very lucky to have her in your church" before reading on.

Gordon wrote at the end of his blog, "I do feel proud that she should feel at home with us and that she has worked out a life of mission which comes as natural to her as breathing!"

Man! I want a life like that. I'm learning lately that I'm a lot more lukewarm than I'd like to admit. I can't decide which side of the fence I'm on in many decisions - politically and personally. That's pretty sad. I know now why God said he would rather us be hot or cold than lukewarm. Lukewarm moves you to indecision and ultimately inaction - that's pretty sad.

I live a life that desires mission - my heart beats for it and I long for it - overseas and yet I can't seem to get it into my daily life. I can't seem to make it across the street to meet and get to know my neighbors. Gordon's blog was about a lady who doesn't seem to dress all that well but people know her by her love and compassion - they know her by her good deeds. He said that she has worked out a life of mission that comes as natural to her as breathing.

Oh how I long for a life like that - a life of mission that comes as natural to me in my neighborhood, in my hometown, in my country as breathing does. I've got to get it right. Jesus called me to it. Be my witness - in Samaria, Judea and to the ends of the world. He didn't leave any place out so why should I?

Lord, keep me from being lukewarm. Keep me from waiting for a voice from heaven to do what I know would please you. Help me to integrate mission into my life now - not later, not someday but today, this week.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Happy Friday - Quote Time!

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him." ~John Piper

I was reading through Let the Nations Be Glad this past week. I've never made it all the way through but I am determined to finish it - someday. Every time I am amazed by that quote. In the book Piper explains that man's ultimate goal should be God's glory and that this is also God's goal. When he first says that I think every reader's hair stands on end. It makes God sound selfish. However, Piper explains that if God had any other goal, he would be untrue to the Truth which is that God is above all and deserves the supreme glory of every creature in HEAVEN and on earth. Therefore, the chief end of God is to glorify himself just as that is the chief end of man - to give God glory.

And I still think I had a hard time with that - even though I understood it. Then I got to the quote above. "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him." So, now it makes his glory a relationship. It makes worship so much easier to get into and give to the Lord because I know that He wants me to be satisfied in worship. He wants our worship. He wants to be glorified and He is most glorified when we are satisfied with giving Him worship. He'll do anything to get us there. That's why he woes us to Him. That's why He lavishes His love upon us. Not because we deserve it but because He deserves the praise and the honor and the glory.

We had prayer time at my house this past Sunday night and I found all of this to be true. What's amazing about the Lord is that when you seek to give him praise and when you seek to worship him, coming before him without your own agenda - what He gives back to you is 10 times more than we could ever lavish upon him.

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him." That quote also teaches me that it doesn't have to be hard - this relationship. It's not about how you're supposed to read your Bible (which I think most of us have been confused about at one point in time or another) or how long you pray or even how you pray just as long as you're giving him glory (usually that comes through reading the Bible and praying though as he teaches you how to do it). Perhaps all of this is elementary and everyone else has gotten it but this lesson I just keep returning to over and over again. I don't think I ever want to get past how good he is and has been and will be - no matter the circumstances I am in. I want the chief end of me to be to give him glory and I absolutely love the fact that my God, my Father, the Creator of Heaven and Earth wants me to be satisfied in him - that's more than I would've ever known to ask for.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

"To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?" says the HOly One. Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.

Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God?" Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40: 26 - 31

You know, if he brings out the starry host and calls each one by name and if not one of them is missing - how much more must He understand and know our path, our plight, our love for Him, our life. He calls us out by name. You know this and I know this but I think it comes with a greater impact after you read how great He is. Who can you compare Him to? Who counsels God? Who gives Him wisdom? Who can you compare Him to? Can you understand the mind of God? No. Yet He chooses me. He gives me strength. What for? He doesn't need me yet He....

you fill in the blank. He is.
He is and that's all I know. and He deserves my glory. Who else can hold the waters in the hollows of his hand? That's my God.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Cool Quote Friday - On Time!

"It is so easy to think that the church has a lot of different objects - education, buildings, missions, holding services. Just as it is easy to think the State has a lot of different objects - military, political, economic, and what not.

But in a way thinkgs are much simpler than that. The State exists to promote and protect the ordinary happiness of human beings in this life. A husband and wife chatting over a fire, a couple of friends having a game of darts in a pub, a man reading a book in his own room or digging in his own garden - that is what the State is there for. And unless they are helping to increase and prolong and protect such moments, all the laws, parlaiments, armies, courts, police, economics, etc., are simply a waste of time.

In the same way the church exists for nothing else but to draw men to Christ, to make them little Christs. If they are not doing that, then all the cathedrals, all the clergy, missions, sermons, even the Bible itself, are simply a waste of time. God became Man for no other purpose. It is even doubtful, you know, whether the whole universe was created for any other purpose. It says in the Bible that the whole universe was made for Christ and that everything in it is to be gathered together in Him."
~C.S. Lewis

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Lots of thoughts running through my head today. They've piled up since last week and I just need to let them out.

Last November I was able to attend a conference held by Ian and Allison Campbell on integrated mission. It was absolutely incredible but really quite overwhelming at the same time. They talked about how the old method of people coming to church isn't working anymore and how the method should now be for people to leave the buildings and organizations and enter the neighborhood - as people. They talked about learning about a neighborhood's concerns and hopes - not their needs because people thrive on their needs and then maintain that mentality instead of working to make it better. The goal is to go into a neighborhood and affirm people. To see what they do well and let them know it - find out what their concerns are for the neighborhood, what their hopes are for the neighborhood and if they think there are any other people who feel the same way they do. It's an absolutely beautiful method of building community - going into people's homes and learning about them without an agenda, without pushing anything on them and then encouraging them to meet their own need. For example, you find out that they need a meal or their rent paid for the month. Well, in The Salvation Army we're quick to meet that need. We give them a food basket or cut a check that will pay for their rent and I'm not saying that that's bad in anyway but then when you hand it to them, you turn the question back to them and ask, "Now, how are you going to find a way to feed your family next week or pay next month's rent?" That doesn't automatically solve the problem but it's the beginning, isn't it? It's about stopping the perpetuation by inviting people into community and helping them overcome their needs by encouraging them to meet them on their own. I'm processing this all as I go.

So, that was November. It was all talk - planning, powerpoint, diagrams, circles, squares, big sheets of paper all over the wall. Last week they did a follow up session which was more hands on - putting it all into practice. While it all seemed pretty foreboding and a little bit too much to ask with just one visit, I absolutely loved it and thoroughly believe in this system now. It's a team-based system. We were out at the Training College (for those of you who read these that aren't Salvationists, that's where pastors for The Salvation Army get become pastors) and there is now a group of eight or nine missionaries living there and engaging in the community. Those of us who were just there to learn were teamed up with those living in the community to actually do this type of visitation. I went with D.J. and Teddy to Mr. Bill's house. Mr. Bill was quite interesting but he obviously loved the Lord and opened his home up to anyone. While we were there, about four or five people wandered in and out of his house. He feeds people on Saturdays. He told us his vision to help convicts who were into the drug business before they went to prison come out of prison and become leaders in the community by actually having dependable jobs with groups of men underneath them. He told us about how he came to the Lord. He told us about his hippie days (this man loved to talk). He told us about his concern for the children.

What I learned that day was that Mr. Bill was not the only one in that community who wanted to make a difference but at that time he was working alone to make that difference as were all of the other people who want to make a difference. When the entire group of people came back together, we all talked about our experience and there are plenty of men and women in that community doing feeding programs and who long to see their neighborhood return to the safe place it used to be. Now, the missionaries who live there can see the vision and can see the hope. They understand the concerns and they can help be a link. They can help foster community and relationships - just by visiting people in their homes and encouraging them. It was so easy.

One of the huge things I learned that day comes from an acronym Ian and Allison use for the teams they develop worldwide. They call them S.A.L.T teams. It stands for Support, Appreciate, Learn, Transfer. The thing that hit me so hard that day was the transferability of it all. I may not be an organization that needs to get out of the church but I do live in a neighborhood and know very little about my neighbors. The Acts 2 Christians were a community of believers. I can build community right where I live. I don't know if I need a team or not but just to hear my neighbors hopes would be nice.

Now all I need is courage.

Have a good day. I'll write more later about the rest of my weeks thoughts - this one kind of got away from me.

Joy

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