Changing Leaves

I went out tonight to get some things from the store and for the first time this season the air outside actually felt and smelled like Fall. The smell and the feeling aren't really something describable but everytime they happen a wave of nostalgia washes over me. This is my favorite time of year.

As I drove I remembered living not too far from here on Mapleton Drive. I remembered raking leaves into piles in the neighbors yard only to have them wonder if my mom and dad put me up to it. I remember how one particular Fall all ChristyAnn and I would do was jump on her trampoline and make up dance routines to M.C. Hammer's "Can't Touch This." That all changed the next year because she had gone to summer camp and gotten rid of all of her "non-Christian" music. Even then I wasn't that big a fan of burning music. I remembered how every school year I would come home after the second or third day and crawl up in my mother's lap and cry and cry because I couldn't do the work. It was all too hard.

In High School Fall meant football games and eating at Denny's afterward. It meant trips to the beach on the weekends and Marching Competitions at Disney World. It meant Homecome (whether it was a dance or not) and lots of pictures.

Fall always meant new. It meant I was beginning again - new friends sometimes, always new challenges (some I thought I couldn't handle), new romances every once in a blue moon, new chances to grow.

What I don't remember was worry. I don't remember ever worrying while I was jumping on ChristyAnn's trampoline - unless there was homework to be done. I could face the next day with certainty because my entire future didn't hang on it - just a grade or two. I could trust that everything was going to be alright.

Today, as I reminisced I realized why I loved Fall and why so often there is also a little bit of sadness in the air. Fall used to mean change - change that always produced growth. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really growing and how to mark it. I used to have a marker (Washables if you must know). Fall also reminds me of a time when I used to have childlike faith. I believe that's what the Lord is teaching me right now as He leads me into something new - childlike faith. It's a simple trusting with wide, sparkly eyes and laughter. It's a faith that doesn't hold on to the edges or strain to see what's around the corner but basks in the moment.

Those are the two things I want this fall - growth and childlike faith.

Happy Oranges and Yellows,
Joy