Sweet Dreams Are Made of These...

I'm not sure they've been so sweet lately but dreams I have had.
Here are the ones I can remember, in no particular order.

About a month ago I had a dream that a charter bus pulled up to wherever Marty and I were standing and delivered a kid to us for adoption. I was cool with that. Next thing I know, it wasn't just one kid but three. I hadn't even had my own yet. I remember looking at my mom in the dream and saying, "Four! I can't have four! Not all at once!"

A couple of nights ago I dreamed that I was in the hospital in a large room where they keep a lot of patients (perhaps four or five). I was hooked up to an IV when I noticed that my friend was in a bed across the room from me. We decided to take a walk around the hospital. I noticed that in a few places on her face, her skin was sort of not right. Kind of a different color and hanging off. It was weird but I never asked her what happened. Both of us leave the hospital, we are still in our gowns but we get in a car. Then I notice that her face has healed. Her skin, where it healed is a totally different color than the rest of her face. It was along her jawline and it looked like she had a prosthetic jaw put in. THEN I realized she was holding the old part of her face that had evidently been mauled by a bear! I asked her why her skin on her jaw was a different color. She said it was because they grafted it from her butt!

Last night I had two!

The first: My mom, Lorelie and I were shopping in a pretty cool shopping area. We stopped into a store to get some hot tea and cookies. Well, mom and Lorelie got theirs but when it was time for me to get mine, they were ready to go and unwilling to wait on me. So, I told the saleslady and she said, "oh, don't worry. I'll come with you." So, we travel down the hallway of the shopping center a ways and I sample a Lime cookie with chocolate chips in it. I order that and a cup of pink grapefruit hot tea (strange what you remember in dreams). I go to take the cookie I have already sampled and liked and the girl stops me. I can't have that cookie because it is now a sample. She cuts off the part that I ate and puts it in a baggie. Then she puts a tag, one that you would find on a new pair of pants, through the cookie. She hands me a fresh cookie and my cup of hot tea and we are on our way.

The second: A group of us are headed to a conference or something. We have to perform there. It's almost like I'm a leader in a choir or something and I also have speaking lines. Well, someone says something funny during the meeting and I make a funny laugh and some noise and get in trouble from another leader. Whatever. Then we head to our rooms. Mine is already trashed before I can blink. Littered with my clothes. I notice then that there is a massive costume party happening at the pool. Where a pool came from, I'm not sure. So, a friend knocks on my door and asks if I'm ready to go. Give me a minute. I frantically start looking for my costume. I find a hula skirt and begin to try and tie it around my belly (it, of course, doesn't fit). I'm also carrying around a stuffed crocodile at this point. I've eaten off one of his arms. It was quite tasty. Anyway, I'm looking for my costume (brown swimsuit and hula skirt, I guess) when I notice that on the bed my mother has laid out a crocodile costume for me! Why a crocodile? When did my mom show up? Oh well! I put it on and it wasn't tight across my belly. It was quite comfortable. Thanks mom!

People tell me that all dreams means something - the people in the dream, the items. I'm not sure I think every dream means something but I can almost guess the last two dreams meant I was hungry.

Sweet dreams!

Random Thoughts

1. I love those parking spaces that are labeled "For New and Expectant Mothers." I take advantage of them every chance I get. I am also considering writing a letter to establishments that do not have any.
2. A guy at church the other day said I was glowing. I really think it's the new Mineral Essence Powder I'm using!
3. I wonder if I'm behind on the whole planning process for baby. People keep asking me if we've picked a nursery theme or colors. Nope. They look so disappointed when I tell them that.
4. Fiber Capsules are a pregnant girl's best friend.
5. Icy Hot may give the Fiber Capsules a run for their money.
6. And while Icy Hot and Fiber may be a pregnant girl's best friend, Tums and Zantac 75 at least deserve great friend status.
7. I wonder if there's a clothing line that makes clothes for the time in between normal belly and "Woa, you must be due this month!" Choosing what to wear each morning has become an adventure to say the least.
8. Marty is my hero. He now lifts the almost heavy things - like the laundry basket and the box I need from the car. He also now gives me a back rub every night if I ask. I never take advantage. Last night he didn't even complain about having to be the one to administer the Icy Hot (usually there's at least a grunt).
9. I can't believe we find out in two days (this Thursday) if we're having a boy or a girl. Woohoo!
10. At the suggestion of my wonderful sister-in-law I've done some of those quizzes you can take online that tell you if you're having a boy or a girl by using Old Wives Tales. One quiz I took said we're 71% likely to have a boy. Another one said we're 61% likely to have a girl. However, the Chinese Lunar Calendar said we will have a boy. I guess we'll find out soon enough!

In the meantime, stretchy clothing rules!
Joy

Grrr...

So, I know, I should really let it go and move on. The pointing, patting, name-calling and everything else will only get worse from here on out. Too bad I want to be treated like the girl named Joy. It's too late. All people see is my belly. That's all people talk about, all people look at and all people want to touch.

So, I've decided, unless someone says something seriously rude or steps way past the line, that this will be my last blog complaining about the idiocy of non-pregnant people. No offense to those of you who aren't pregnant - I'm just mad.

Today, a stupid woman walked passed me who knows I'm prego because she's one of the ones who thought she could pat my belly and said....AND SAID, "You're gaining weight Gurl." She said it like it was the cutest thing anyone could ever say to a pregnant woman.

Duh! Like I don't know that! Like I'm not having a hard time every morning figuring out what to wear because my normal clothes are too small and my maternity ones are too big.

Duh! Like I don't know that I'm gaining weight from the protruding belly that is getting harder and harder to hide. Non-pregnant women don't get why I'd want to hide it, I know. They think it's cute but to me, it just looks like fat.

So, to everyone who thinks it's fun to point out the ever so obvious belly (like I didn't know it was there) and to ANYONE who wants to talk about my weight, go jump off a cliff!! Gaining weight when you're pregnant sucks just like it does when you're not pregnant. At least at this point it does. I'm not really expecting that to change all that much.

And so, while there is still plenty of rage within me, I will choose to focus on the good. Next time someone says something to me that is just stupid, I'll just flick them off or better yet, talk about their weight. Ooooh, that sounds like fun!

Doesn't anyone have suggestions on how to handle the ignorance? Please? Something. And don't tell me it will get better or that the life growing within me is worth it - I know that but it doesn't really help right now.

Letting go of the rage,
Joy

Weeks 17 - 20

So, I'm not quite at 17 weeks but Friday's coming. I was reading a pregnancy site today and found this.

Your Mood
Don't be surprised if you start to experience "pregnancy brain" (aka "fuzzy brain"), which is characterized by the inability to remember simple words and tasks--or why they even matter! The mood swings you had in your first trimester have most likely abated, and you might be feeling excited and energized.


Just so everyone knows that I can at least laugh at myself - "pregnancy brain" has set in.

Yesterday I went to CVS to get some medicine. I paid for it and headed to church. After church, we all headed to my parents' house for lunch. I change and head to the restroom. On my way I ask Marty to go get my medicine out of the car. He goes, comes back and asks me what type of medicine it was. I tell him and then say, "It would've been in a CVS bag."

He says, "There's no CVS bag in there. Did you leave it at church?"

Then it hits me. No, I didn't leave the stupid stuff at church. I NEVER EVEN LEFT THE STORE WITH IT!!!

Welcome to my life.

The things I'm starting to mind...

So, this Friday I'll be 16 weeks pregnant. It's strange to think that four months have passed already.

What's also strange are the things you never think you'll mind before you're pregnant but ABSOLUTELY MIND once you are pregnant. I think a part of me thought that with pregnancy came an extra dose of grace to give that perhaps makes you more radiant. I missed the extra dose of grace somewhere and I'm definitely not feeling radiant at all. Most of the time I feel like slapping hands and biting people's heads off. Hopefully it's just a stage.

So, while I have to admit that when my other friends were pregnant, I did touch their bellies. However, I ALWAYS ASKED FIRST. There are now several women that I barely know who simply think it's there God-given right to touch what doesn't belong to them - in passing. I'm not even showing all that much yet!!

Then, there are those who have forgotten that I'm a person and simply know me as pregnant and have nothing else to ask me but how I feel. I know. Everyone's trying to be supportive and sympathetic but I feel normal. I'm still just a regular girl!

Perhaps the one that makes me the most livid are those who think it's funny to insist that I'm having twins!! I know the truth. I've seen the sonogram. There's only one heartbeat in there, only one set of arm buds and leg buds, only one egg sac. So, why should it bother me when I know it isn't true? I think it comes down to ignorance. It sends chills down my spine like nails down a chalkboard that people WHO HAVE NEVER EVEN HAD A BABY think they might know better than I do what might come out of my body. Why would anyone want to add extra fear to your already crazy hormones? Why would anyone want to wish on you two babies when you're scared to death that you might not be able to handle just one. It's just plain rude and mean. I also think it comes down to the steps I'm on in my journey never being enough for others. We all get it, right? When you're dating everyone wants to know when you'll get engaged. When you're engaged, everyone wants to know when you'll get married. And then, the day after you get married, people not only want to know but feel like it's their duty to pressure you into having children. Then, when you are going to have a child, that's still not enough! It has to be two! Just let me be for Pete's sake!

Perhaps these days I'm just a little bit more hormonal than usual (go figure) and the only one to receive my rage is poor Marty and you - dear internet.

So, words to the wise for those of you who aren't pregnant. Treat pregnant women like they're normal. If you wouldn't normally ask them how they're doing, just keep on walking. If you're not close enough to pat her stomache when she's not pregnant at least have the decency to ask while she's pregnant. And for God sakes, NEVER EVER tell a woman she's having twins as her first child. If she is, then celebrate with her but if she's not celebrate with her what she is having.

Oh, and one more thing, don't ask her if she should be eating or drinking "that." Don't ask her if she's capable of carrying something. If she can't do it, she won't - it's as simple as that.

Please I ask you! Stop the madness.
From a woman who's about to lose all decorum. Thank you.