I took a trip to the beach last week. While hanging out with my family was incredible - some other really great stuff happened. So, here they are.

I realized that for far too long I have been placing my worth in earthly terms and seeing myself perhaps how other people do or don't see me instead of trying to hear and understand how my Father sees me. I've really got to start listening to him speak his love for me more often. A couple of weeks ago I read the verse in Psalm 139 that says, "I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Say what? I have never praised him for that. If anything I have only cursed him for how I am made. I've praised him for who He is but never for who I am. But His word says I should so - I'm going to start. My earthly relationships hinge on how well I understand how much He loves me. I can't give something I don't understand.

The other thing I learned is that understanding my self worth is a part of the freedom He gives through His spirit. When it comes to freedom I'm really not grasping the full picture. You know that commercial where the girl is walking down the street listening to an MP3 player that is also her cell phone and her shadow is dancing around like crazy? Most of the time I feel like that's me. Like there's this other person just dying to get out and start dancing but she can't because I'm restricting her to the rules that have bound me for so long - the rules of church, the rules of what you're supposed to look like as a good girl, the rules of how much you're supposed to be involved and what you are or aren't supposed to say. All she wants to do is dance - there's praise in that, praise to the Father and good church girls just don't dance - even when the song that's playing is a praise and worship song. So, I'm working on understanding the freedom God gives and how to use it to edify the church. There's an entirely new ball of wax.

The last thing God rekindled in me was the desire He has always seemed to blow on. After months of simply being - he reminded me this week of my place within His will as servant and friend and that neither one of those titles are inactive - but active and require great faith and perhaps huge amounts of trust to be carried out. I'm not okay with the idea that there are 33,000 people dying of malnutrition everyday and that I spend most of my time every week in an office building where I do little to change that fact. I'm not okay with the idea that there are even more people who don't know the love of my Savior and are dying without him and I do even less about that! My sin of inaction was overwhelming this week. I've been asking him for years now to use me. I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. I want out of my comfort zone. I want out of a comfortable life and into something that makes a difference.

What I'm grateful for is that while the Lord was speaking to me about faith - He was also speaking to Marty about faith. I'm so glad I have a husband who is seeking the same way I am and that we're both after something that we understand is bigger than ourselves.

How about you? What's the Lord saying to you right now?