Inhibition

Children, especially babies, have all these qualities that have yet to be destroyed by the world. Of course there's innocence and purity. We get that. The one that I've been noticing lately in Justice is his lack of inhibition. He doesn't understand yet that there are actions in this world which just aren't suitable for certain occasions - like crying in church, or falling asleep for that matter. He doesn't get that it's not appropriate to yell at the table or whine.

For instance, at every meal, Justice has an incredible time. He laughs, he plays, he yells. At least once, during the course of each meal, he simply raises his hand, palm up and says, "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" It's a yell. He hasn't just discovered something. He's simply raising his hand because he can and wants to. There's no inhibition there. He's not worried about what people will think. He's not worried about whether or not people will stare. Actually, he knows they will. He also knows (I think) that they will smile and laugh at him.

The other day I was walking in the small workout room at THQ. I was listening to a pretty great mix of music. All upbeat. All fun. At one point in one of the songs, I wanted to clap my hands and dance. Now, understand, I was the only one in the room. Just outside of that room, however, the mail person has a desk. People pass by those glass doors all the time. So, I restrained. I didn't dance. I didn't clap. I thought about singing along but thought someone might hear me. I WAS ALONE!!! If Justice had been there, he would've danced.

I can really learn a lot from the babbles of my nine month old. Next time, don't look at me funny if perhaps I am daring enough to sing along.

Another Decade Older

I'm sure 30 is supposed to be a benchmark in life. Perhaps you're supposed to have accomplished things or met some goals - something. I know people who've been depressed by 30.

I turned 30 last Tuesday. The day was marked by 2 naps and 2 meals with the Territorial Band. One of those naps was taken with my little boy and after being away from him for 10 days - that was the best present ever.

So far, I've had two parties - one at Maggiano's where we stuffed ourselves full. The second was last night. There was a surprise party at my mom and dad's house. Small gathering of good friends and good food - it was really nice. Got a few presents and had a lot of laughs.

I've been trying to come up with something profound to say that would mark turning 30 but I can't come up with anything. Be frie sent me a card that said, "20 is the new 30." So, I'm claiming it. I don't feel as old as I thought 30 was when I was 20. I don't think as old as I thought I would think when I was 20. I know that people who are 20 look at me like I'm old but I'm okay with that. I wouldn't trade 30 for 20 anyday. Turns out, I like me at this age and stage. I may not have that body anymore but I feel like fine wine. My character is deeper; my life is richer; my relationships are more lasting.

I couldn't help but think about how quickly the next 10 years will go and where I might be then. I don't normally set far off goals. I'm far too fickle for that. Besides, I might change my mind! What I did think about was my family and what we'll look like then.

It's strange to think that I'll have a 10 year old boy running around at that time. By then there will hopefully be more children and perhaps a few we've adopted. Perhaps we'll live overseas or perhaps Marty will have a recording contract. Perhaps we'll sell our house and live in a RV and travel the country. Probably not. As it turns out, I'm sort of looking forward to growing old. I do, however, fully enjoy exactly where I am at this place in my life. I'm acutely aware of how extremely and abundantly blessed I am.

The Lord has been good to me - more than good.

Happy Birthday to me!