I've been gone a long time! I didn't know it until I checked the date of my last post and realized that it was almost a month ago.
I don't have anything profound to give today. Marty and I are in the middle of the biggest decision we've ever faced as a married couple and while I know in the end this journey will be rewarding, in the middle it's just downright frustrating and tiring.
Someone, a lovely lady who attends Atlanta Temple, stopped me last Wednesday night after she found out about the decision we're facing and said, "Just remember, God is not a God of confusion. If there's confusion, God's not in it." I have used that line before with people. I believed it as well. Until last Wednesday night when a person offered that advice to me who doesn't really know me or Marty all that well. I walked away thinking - "I don't remember that part of the Bible." I don't remember Jesus saying of his father that he wasn't a God of confusion. What I'm pretty sure of is that the disciples spent a lot of their days in confusion - scratching their heads because they couldn't quite figure this Jesus guy out.
He definitely confused them - and the world around them.
I was left with the thought that the cliche I was handed wasn't really Biblically based at all but just something Christians made up to make themselves feel better instead of really pushing through to the end of the confusion to reveal a deeper relationship with their father. It sucks being in the middle of two choices. It sucks not really knowing what God wants from me specifically in all of this but I know he's teaching me that I need to listen more and pray more. Perhaps God is not a god of confusion but I'm beginning to believe he's in the middle of the confusion helping you know which way is up.
I'm reminded of the disciples in the boat during the storm. They thought they were going to drown. They woke Jesus up and he immediately calmed it but then he questioned their faith.
Is my faith big enough to ride out this storm? I don't want him to calm it if it doesn't bring growth.
Teach me Lord, in the middle of the confusion to hear you clearly and to trust you completely. I will not ask you to make the storm go away - just that you allow me to understand your presence in all of it.
8 comments:
you're right; we're not guaranteed certainty. moreover, i think it's kind of unfair to make that kind of statement to someone who's struggling with a decision, because then that person's doomed to agonize over any lingering doubts, thinking that she's somehow apart from God's will. i think the certainty lies in knowing God WILL use the outcome--any outcome--to fulfill His purpose as long as the decision is earnestly motivated by a desire to serve Him.
joy, thanks for posting this. we are in the middle of a slightly smaller drama unfolding and a storm of our own, so to speak. I loved that last line about not asking the Lord for the storm to necessarily go away, but to help us understand His presence in it all. I am making that my prayer even as I type. Thanks again.
Joy, what an incredible revelation ... something I will really take withe me. I have always struggled with the fact that I am someone who tends to 'struggle' over decisions...I wrestle and doubt and squirm and change my mind and then change it back again...and I always saw that as a bad thing. Now, I can look at it as a joy, a process in which God shows up and I get to know Jesus better in the midst of it all. Thank you.
thank you joy. I needed to hear this.
I think opportunities come along and you make the best decision you can. Growing up, you're almost conditioned to believe that God has a job picked for you but your job is to struggle to figure out which one it is.
I think we make the best decision's for ourselves and our families, where we will grow, where we will be the most useful, where can we be the most encouraging to others, etc.
I don't think it's a decision of which one does God want me to pick. He is with us anywhere we go.
And the both of you have families that support your decision. The struggle is what is best for the both of you - not figuring out what God wants. He's already got you - He needs nothing else.
i think we should start making a list of stupid things people say. we'll call it "Stupid Things People Say" and any time that someone comments or offers advice that is completely irrelevant or cliche or full of half-hearted sincerity, we'll say, "hmmm.. you know what, i think that just made the list."
on the flip side, i'm growing to think there's not one answer. in your case and in everyone's case. God will honor either decision. sometimes i wish he would just tell us what to do, where to go. but if he did, i might say something like, "hmmm.. you know what, i think that just made the list."
Thanks Kelly. I really liked the last paragraph.
Not too long ago I struggled to make maybe one of the most important decisions in my life. Everyone says God has a specific plan for your life and I often wish He would just fill me in so I know that I made the right decision. I never thought that if He told me what the right decison was that I may not like the answer.
I don't think life necessarily becomes easier because you made the "right" decision. I find myself still trying to find my way.
I do not believe that God causes confusion is our lives. I just don't. There are plenty of evil schemes, out there to distract us from Him. HE doesn't change.
The statement "God is not a God of confusion" is, in fact, a Biblical statement. The King James Version of 1 Corinthians 14:33 states: " For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints."
Granted, this is in the middle of a controversial piece of scripture, where we are all aware that Paul is addressing the problems in the Corinthian church at the time, and all of the "issues" do not apply to us today. (not to start a Theological debate :)
However, the difference to me when reading this again seems to be between a "principle" and an "application" of a principle. Example: the principle of the matter here is that God is not the author of confusion", and Paul applies this to the use of the gift of prophecy in the body, etc.
I believe it is the principles of New Testament scripture that we DO, as Christians, need to cling to and claim as the truth, as part of our Creator's character.
We are given God's word (His truth, his promises) to guide us. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have the principles of God's word to hide in my heart and be reminded of in the darkest of moments when I am weak.
Anyways, all that to say, my dear friend, is that I UNDERSTAND your frustration in hearing that in a time of intense deliberation and prayer concerning a decision, and being put off by it.
That said, don't be too hard on the church lady, my dear friend. There's a possibility that she was just trying to encourage you with the BEST way possible... through God's word that is in her heart.
No question about it. People do say stupid things from time to time. But "as iron sharpens iron", SOMETIMES the things said to us that are hard to swallow, while bothersome, could be a step closer to His face and to His leading.
Just my thoughts. Take them with a grain of salt, but search it out for yourself. We are all in this fight together.
LOve you. Praying for you and Martin as a new season approaches.
xoxox, anna
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