Reset Button

Justice has been sick this past week. We ended up taking him to the immediate care place on Saturday with a return trip on Sunday. Someone should have warned me as to what they would do to him once we got there! I was not prepared.

His temp got up to 102 on Saturday evening around 5 pm. I'm guessing it's true what other parents say about how kids tend to get sick when regular doctor's offices are closed. So, going on Aunt Dr. Bethany's advice we took him to Children's Healthcare's satellite center. We get in to see the doctor and he recommends doing several "procedures" to make sure that he doesn't have a bacterial infection. Turns out they need to catheterize him, take a chest x-ray, draw blood and do a heel prick!!!

I was fine through the catheterization. My baby screamed and I shed a few tears because he was breaking my heart. I held him still during the chest x-ray as he screamed. BUT THEN!! Oh and then...a weirdo guy who was slow talking and didn't look at all like he should be allowed to take blood from my baby came in with his acutraments and proceeded to tell us what he was going to do. He mentioned finding a vein and I was out of there. I, personally, don't have a problem with needles. I am, in fact, a little mesmerized by them. On this day, however, the pain that was about to be inflicted upon my 4 month old son was more than I could bare. I simply turned to Marty and said I'm leaving. I took a trip to the restroom and then stood just outside of the restroom which was four or five doors down from the room where the torture was taking place. From there I could hear Justice scream and scream and scream and I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. After that, I returned to the quick, sad breaths of a little boy who had just been put through the ringer and was tired. So, he fell sound asleep. Then, oh and then, the nurse comes to administer the shot of antibiotics. Oh good, I now get to wake up my infant to the pain of yet another needle. Saturday night was not a good night.

Saturday night was followed by several days of runny nose, the inability to breathe, and sleepless nights. Cleaning out his nose is nowhere near as fun as oh say, a poke in the eye but much more necessary. I do have to admit that I would be quite proud of myself if a great green glob was produced. That's how I knew I was successful. I am amused at the strangest things sometimes.

Baby J is doing so much better now. No more runny nose, no more fever, no more trips to the doctor for mean shots. Two nights ago, however, I did find myself searching for his reset button. You know, the one that would make him like the baby we had before the sickness. You see, throughout the ordeal my mother's heart and sense said, hold him, squeeze him, ROCK HIM TO SLEEP. And so I did. Prior to this incident however, we were laying him in his crib and after a small amount of cries and a small fight, Justice would fall asleep to his mommy's humming and gentle caress on the cheek. Now Justice knows he could quite possibly get someone to hold him if he'll just scream his bloody head off for an hour and a half!!! He knows the pleasure of being rocked and even nursed to sleep and he is not doing well with the withdrawal. Two nights ago, there was multiple tactics used to encourage sleep; bouncing of the mattress, rocking the baby, humming, singing, whispering in his ear. All to no avail. I finally picked him up and had him fall asleep. Last night, more of the same ensued but with sheer determination to see him return to the baby before. So, the fight became less and he actually slept until 3:30 a.m.

I am still in favor of a reset button though. One that would reset his time clock. Make him take naps at the right times and for the right length of time. Give him the desire to go to sleep at the right time. I have a feeling this won't be the only time I have a wish for such a thing. So goes parenthood.

Here's to long naps and stretches of night-time between feedings.
Joy