Christened

This afternoon, Mom and I were giving Justice a bath and as soon as we got finished and halfway wrapped him up in a towel, he peed. All over me, my mom and the ottoman that goes with my glider rocker. Thank goodness for Resolve's new Multi Fabric Cleaner.

Honestly, I didn't mind all that much. I just kept thinking of Drew Barrymore's character in "Riding in Cars with Boyse." You know the scene - she's hopping across the room with a pee drenched t-shirt on and a toothbrush with toothpaste all over screaming, "He pee in my mouth!"

It could've been worse.

Welcome to the World!

So, most of you have probably already read Marty's blog - complete with pictures of our beautiful son but I just couldn't let this event pass without at least writing something about the most incredible moment of my life.

It all started early Monday morning around 3 am. You know, I've heard of women being scheduled to be induced but then go into labor on their own the night before but I just thought it was a fluke - not to happen to me. However, it did. By the time we got to the hospital for our 9 am appointment to be induced I was already dilated 5 cm. That was my biggest hope for pregnancy - to have everything start naturally and progress that way - you know as natural as things can occur with an epidural. By 5 cm I was in a whole heck of a lot of paint and was ready for the drugs. Call me a wimp, call me what you will but I'd do it again in a heartbeat!

So, once the epidural kicked in, I couldn't even tell when I was having contractions - yay! We hung out until about 3:45 when the nurse had me start pushing and out came Justice at 5:04.

For the first couple of days after he was born and we were still in the hospital, the knowledge that we had a baby was sort of surreal. Even holding him felt like maybe he was on loan or something. Then they let us bring him home! What?!? We've had some rocky days, crazy nights and not a whole lot of sleep. Would I do it again? For a chance to hold Justice? Absolutely! For the opportunity to love someone so much? There's not even a question about it. He's the most incredible little human being I've ever met and I can't wait to see what God's got in store for him and us.

So, just in case you missed some of the pictures on Marty's blog - here are a few more.

Motherhood is fantastic!
Joy

Coming Soon to a Household Near You!

So, it turns out that if Justice doesn't show up before Monday, Marty and I will head to the hospital and I'll be induced on the 23rd! I'm not really excited about being induced, in fact, I truly am praying that he'll come on his own before then. However, I'm not willing to wait any longer than that. I know, some people would say I'm crazy for willingly being induced and perhaps I am but I know plenty of women who have been induced and have come out on the other side just fine!

You know what's nice about all of this? Today is my last day of work for 3 WHOLE MONTHS!! I leave my office today and I don't have to come back until mid-July!!! I can't tell you how exciting that is for me.

You know what else is exciting about today being my last day of work? After today, I will no longer have to walk down the hall and have EVERY single person stop me and ask a question that deserves a stupid sign. Here are some examples: "You still here?" No, I'm a figment of your imagination. "You still haven't had that baby yet?" Actually, I have. I did that over my lunch break. The doctors say the stomache swelling will go down in three to four hours. "You still hanging on?" Hanging on? Hanging on to what? "You ready to have that baby?" What gave it away? My waddling? My constant trips to the bathroom? The bags under my eyes (which I understand will just get worse when baby comes) from lack of sleep? Kelly said to me a few weeks ago that it's just people trying to be nice. I know. I do. That's what's kept me from screaming when it just becomes too much. But I'm ready to not be the person EVERYONE, even the people I don't know, feels compelled to say something to. It's hard to have the same conversation every day, about 10 times as you walk down the hallway, for weeks on end without becoming bored from the repetition. What I do appreciate are the people who ask the questions that aren't among the constant. For example, I had someone ask me the other day how I was sleeping at night. Now that's a thought out question from someone who knows. Someone else asked if the nursery was ready. Different - not completely creative - but different!

So, needless to say, I'm excited about the fact that today's my last day of work. I'm also excited that by Monday, if not before, I'll have a baby who is a direct reflection of Marty and I to hold in my arms and that thought alone is worth all of the stupid questions.

What do you have to look forward to in the coming months? Stories about spit up, feedings, firsts (smiles, laughs, stinky poos), all the baby talk you might not have ever wanted to know or read. If it all just gets too boring, I would tell you to let me know but I'm not sure it will matter.

So, farewell for a while! I'm off to have a baby!
Joy

SURPRISE!!

This past weekend was one of those weekends that absolutely exhausts you. Friday morning began early with a list of to-dos that was as long as my arm. Vacuum, clean up back yard, make baby's room a little bit nicer, go grocery shopping, get ready for Good Friday Service. You get the picture. Marty and I were having a cookout that night to say thank you to the people who helped us endlessly in the Fall with remodeling the house. They were the ones who hammered, nailed, dry-walled, sawed and did everything that neither Marty or I knew how to do. They even showed up to our house once in the fall while we were out of the country to put together cabinets. So, yeah, they deserved a nice steak and shrimp dinner. By the end of that day though, I thought I was going to pass out standing in the middle of the room I was so tired.

Then Saturday morning came and with it, another day's worth of to-do's, well, just one to-do - attend Childbirth Education Classes. So, we had McD's two mornings in a row for breakfast and headed to Piedmont Hospital for class. While I'm so grateful for the fact that we went, I have now seen way too many vaginas in my lifetime. Those videos they show you don't even warn you as to when it's coming. One scene it's a shot of her face and she's breathing - the next it's all, well, you know and I'm just not comfortable with that. I was telling someone yesterday that I'm glad we went because I think now Marty understands how important his role is. He doesn't just have to sit by and twiddle his thumbs - not that he was ever planning on that. He gets to be an active participant and be my support which I'm learning more and more will be so necessary. He learned how to try and make me relax and be more comfortable. I think it excited him too to know now how important he is in all of this. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm ready but after Saturday I might be less ready. I don't think I've quite come to grips with how all of this works nor have I realized how much hard work is still ahead. We'll get through it, I know but am I ready, am I excited? I just don't think about it to be honest.

Saturday evening came and we were supposed to have dinner at Bernie and Laura's. Thankfully I changed from the jogging pants and tank top I had on for class into something a little bit more presentable before heading over there. Then, on the way out the door Marty says, "We have to stop and get something to eat. Laura's just having snacks." I asked why we were going then. "To watch the Muppet movies," he non-chalantly replies. Ah! So, we show up at Bernie and Laura's with Taco Bell bags in our hands and there are all these people there who yell "Surprise!" I'm dumbfounded. My jaw hits the floor. I'm so confused and then I just turn and hit Marty because there's a table full of food and he just let me eat a Chalupa. Thank goodness I had changed my clothes. All these beautiful friends of mine had showed up to Laura's house to throw a shower! There was fondue and mushroom dip and cake and games and presents and just fun times hanging out. I loved it! I couldn't believe that Kelly and Laura and Emma pulled it off and that so many other people helped. That was definitely one surprise for which I had no clue - at all! Thank you everyone who came and everyone who pitched in to make it work. I don't even know what went on behind the scenes but you guys really know how to make a girl feel special. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Then Easter came and with it a new Easter outfit which itched and unless I continually pulled my pants up, made me look like Humpty Dumpty. Pants in the right place though and I was cute. Pants slipping and I looked like a little person. Ella was decked out in her beautiful Easter Dress with matching hat might I add. The Easter Bunny visited and even thought of Justice! He got beachwear - sunhat, sunglasses, sunshirt, swim diaper, everything. And I got CHOCOLATE!!! I love that Easter Bunny!

So, my weekend was full. It even included a trip to the movies last night to see Blades of Glory! What a great way to end the weekend!

Now, if only I had a few days to recover from my weekend.

Here's to three day weekends, cookouts, surprises, labor techniques and the Easter Bunny! I hope your Easter was as full and wonderful as mine!

Only Three Weeks To Go

With three weeks left before Justice arrives (you know, more or less) I'm still amazed at the things that have and are still happening to me and to him. I'm amazed at the movement I feel from him almost constantly now. Sometimes I wish he would quit but other times I just enjoy watching the rise and fall of my abdomen knowing it's not me making that happen. I'm amazed that just recently he started having the hiccups and now it's a daily occurance - one I'm not all that fond of but still amazed by. I can't figure out why or how he gets them. I'm amazed by the fact that I can still tie my shoes and shave my legs although not without some struggle. I'm amazed that ,so far, I'm stretch mark free. I'm amazed that I can continue to funtion on little to no sleep because the trips to the bathroom at night now come in at an average of four a night. I'm amazed that I have not had any cravings throughout this entire pregnancy. Foods that I absolutely didn't want have been bountiful - foods that I absolutely had to have or else I would die have been non-existant. I'm amazed that as hard as we've worked to make the house ready for Justice, we're still not through. I'm amazed that Lilly knows something's up and won't leave my side of the bed at night. I'm amazed at how prepared we seem to be - car seat in the car, crib put together, changing table put together - and at the same time, how unprepared we seem to be - things needing to be washed and sterilized, items put away, bassinet put in place.

Last but not least, what I can't seem to fathom, imagine or wrap my head around is how different our lives will be once he comes. All of our priorities will shift and life as we now know it will be different. I wonder if how I relate to friends will be different. I find myself afraid that I'll bore them with stories of spit up and diaper changes or that I won't get as much time with them as I do now. I guess this is part of life - or some people's lives. People keep asking me if I'm ready. Ready to stop carrying him around on the inside? Yes. Ready to meet him and see what he looks like? Yes. Ready with all of the things he will need? I hope so. Ready for the emotional changes headed my way? I don't know how you prepare for that. Ready for the responsibility? I'm not sure. It's all so crazy.

I guess I've gone to rambling now and for that I'm sorry. Just a lot on my mind that I seem to say every day but yet can't shake.

Marty's out of town this weekend so the prayer for now is that Justice won't decide to make his appearance until Marty's back in town.

Here's hoping that at least a little more of the physical preparations happen this weekend.

TGIF!
Joy

My BIGGEST Pet Peeve

Everyone hates telephone salesmen - no doubt. Discover Card salespeople are the worst. They call and ask if you're home - you tell them no. Leave it at that! But then they say, well, you're not so and so. Okay, maybe I am. Don't call me on the lie I just told you. Take the hint - I don't want to talk to you. Whatever it is you have to sell me isn't worth my time! No I don't want a bigger spending limit; no I don't want insurance for my purchases that costs me $2.99/month; No! No! No! No! No! No! I've done everything in my power to make these calls stop. I no longer have a home phone. I added our cell phone numbers to that government no call site. So far, so good.

But here's what's worse - Christian Salespeople! Please don't get me wrong. I love Jesus. I have a heart for ministry. I want people to know and love my Savior. I do! I really do! But what's worse about Christian salespeople is that they call you at work where it's unethical to screen your calls and darn IT for not giving you one of those nifty phones that tells you who's calling. Then, they launch into a lengthy discussion with you about the type of ministry you're in and how you just need their product - the Bible study that's so edgy, so hip, so eye-catching! I fell prey a few times. Thought maybe BlueFishTV really did have some quality stuff. I got the little box with all the DVDs and realized that really - I could've done a better job. Then, oh and then, they want you to pay them to return it. Please include $4.75 to cover our costs for shipping! Say what?!?

Today I get a call from BlueFish and it's a man who won't shut up. Christian salespeople don't even give you a chance in the beginning to say "Thank You, I'm not interested." Then, if you tell them you're not interested AFTER you've listened to them drone on for at least 10 minutes, they make you feel guilty and continue to push you to accept their product for your resource room or to share with other Salvationists or to just watch and return - for $4.75!

The only thing I keep thinking is, please, just send me a flyer for your conference or your materials. I'll come if I hear from someone else that it's really worth my time. If not, then I have the option just to throw it in the trash. As for your materials, get LifeWay to stock them. Then, when I need some materials, I can go there and choose whether or not to purchase.

Why is it that I always feel like they think I'm not really a Christian when I hang up the phone? Ugh!

And you thought this was going to be another diatribe about my pregnancy!

A family Affair

This past Saturday was our first baby shower! Mom, Danielle, Kelly and I left Tucker early that morning (I didn't think 7 a.m. occurred twice on Saturdays but evidently it does - as does 6 a.m., the time when we woke up to be ready to leave at 7). By the way, I am also aware of the fact that once Justice arrives, I'll probably never sleep past 7 a.m. again. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

So, we got to Gastonia around 10:30. Most of the people who came were all family - even family members I didn't know showed up! Go figure! They even brought the best presents. One is pictured below - the blue and green quilt - love it! That's from my dad's cousin Judy who I had never met until last year when she and her two sisters came to Danielle's shower.

Poor Heather was the only non-family member there. She was a super sport about the whole thing and really got into it all - even though she doesn't do the girly things in life. She did mention however that my accent was much worse this past weekend than it was when I visited her and Rob a few weeks earlier. Warning - that's what family does to you.

That afternoon we had yet another shower for my prego cousin Kelly. She was so surprised and it was nice to be on the other end of a shower - taking pics, writing down gift items.

Sunday, got to hang out with Kelly (not the cousin but the friend), Lesley and Laura. We enjoyed brunch at Murphy's and then painted pottery to celebrate Laura's birthday. I'm excited to get our pieces back because everyone was so creative. Perhaps I'll get to publish pics of the finished products. Anyway, it was a great day to talk and listen, spend time with the girls, and hope for more opportunities like that.

Just in case anyone else is counting - we now have 5 weeks and 5 days left until the due date. Everytime I think about that I feel like someone just knocked the wind out of me. Is that a bad thing? Oh well.


My lovely aunts (who threw the shower), my mother and I behind the diaper cake. By the way, my mom saw what I was packing to wear that day to the shower and totally ambushed me.


Cousin Judy and I holding the lovely blanket she made for Justice.

The reversible blanket my Granny made for us. I love that Granny!

The Thrill of it All

Two days ago Marty looks at me and says, "We've only got seven weeks to go until your due date!" He's smiling. I, on the other hand, almost begin to hyperventilate. "Nu uh," I say," we have eight weeks left. Then, he proves it to me on a calendar.

How did that happen? How did we get to seven weeks and I thought we were at eight? I'm not sure but eight I could handle. That was 2 months. I still had 2 months. Seven weeks is less than two months - it's one month and three weeks or, to be exact, 53 days from today!

Excitement has started to set in. The things I had been postponing until, you know, right before the baby comes I should be doing. Freezing meals, seriously cleaning the house, washing baby clothes. I don't know. What else do you do right before a baby comes? Oh yeah, hang doors, paint walls and listen to your husband smack his thumb with a hammer. (Just kidding - he's pretty good with tools.)

The past couple of months have been crazy. Got to paint pottery with best friend Laly. Below are some pictures. Bought a new car - Nissan Pathfinder to be exact. Marty's like a kid in a candy store. Went to breastfeeding school. Who knew you had to be taught how to feed your kid?

Now I'm looking forward to the showers my lovely family and friends are throwing all over the place. I get to go paint pottery this Sunday with Laura and Kelly to celebrate Laura's birthday. I think I'm addicted. So, that's life in a nutshell. I'm just seriously hoping now that all the stuff for work gets done before baby comes.

Here's to the next 53 days!
Joy

1:19 AM - Smoke Detector's battery dies causing short horrendously ear splitting noise to go off once every 1 to 2 minutes.

1:20 AM - Marty tries replacing battery

1:30 AM - Smoke Detector is now wrapped in a towel and safely placed in the garage (far away from human ears)


Added to the TO DO LIST:

Purchase Smoke Detector


Hope your evening is much more restful!

The Beginning of Week 31

I have 9 weeks left until Justice comes. Surprisingly enough (i guess) I'm not ready for this to be over. I'm not ready to "get this over with" nor do I want him to come early. Janell said last week, "Mark my words, he'll be here in six weeks." Wha huh? No please. I haven't said this to most people but I'm going to confess. I don't want him to come early because if he does then I'll have to return to work before I get to go on vacation with my family. So, I have about a 2 week span where he could come early. Anymore than that and I'm back at work while everyone else gets tans. Not that I tan really but I would like to feel the sand beneath my feet.

Laly came to visit this weekend. She's the greatest. We went and painted pottery and spent ALL of the day there. Who knew it took so long to make a teapot pretty? That whole three coats of paint rule can be a bit much. We ate at Everybody's Pizza. If you haven't been - you should go. Love it!

More than that, I just love spending time with my best friend. It's about quality time and conversation when we're together. We talk about everything - our relationships, people we care about, work, our hopes, our dreams. It's not all serious but it's so refreshing to just spend time with someone that you know genuinely cares and wants to know what's going on and that you trust with anything. Wish we still lived in the same city. Maybe someday.

Valentine's Day was nice. We didn't celebrate until the Friday afterwards though. Actually, Marty found his present a day early. It was my fault. I asked him to empty the closet where it was stashed so that the carpet people could get to the floor in there. There it was. Doh! I even missed seeing his reaction but he assures me he likes it. I got roses in three colors this year - white for "I can't remember," Marty said, yellow because we're friends and red because he loves me. He's sweet but also a little sappy at times. He took me to California Dreamin' and I had lovely fried shrimp - yummmmmm. (This post is starting to sound like I'm hungry, I'm not, I promise). He also gave me a FANTASTIC GC to Spa Sydell for a prenatal massage but that was a belated birthday gift. Hey, if I have to wait a month every year for a gift that good, I don't mind one bit.

We're heading to Charlotte this weekend for some relaxation with Rob and Heather. We'll get to spend some time with the War College students which should be exciting. I always love receiving the wisdom Rob and Heather have to share.

Next week I'm off to New Orleans to do a set up trip for the Salvationist Service Corps teams that will be spending their summer in Gulfport or NOLA. Should be interesting.

Maybe I am a little hungry or perhaps I simply daydream about food all the time. Does anyone else do that? Maybe it's the whole being pregnant thing. I'm not amazed anymore when people tell me how much weight they gained while they were pregnant. It's hard work NOT gaining all that weight.

I'll quit rambling now.
Have a lovely weekend.

So this is what they call nesting

I had read about nesting. I heard stories from other women who went through it during their last trimester. I just always wondered what it would look like and whether or not it would happen to me. Honestly, I always secretly hoped it would. It just seemed like some sort of instinctual desire that would take over and help me work through the lack of energy to make sure things got done. Turns out, I was right! It was almost as if the desire kicked in just as Marty's plane left for Argentina. His absence I would not allow to keep me from moving forward. In fact, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to get more done!

So, in the past 2 weeks, we've gotten an over the range microwave installed, one light fixture installed (soon to be two), two bedrooms painted (one is Justice's), a hallway painted and tonight - the family room! Tomorrow, carpet will be installed. Thursday the other light gets installed and this weekend - perhaps we'll see a complete house (perhaps). I can't leave Marty out of this list however. Yesterday, he came home from Argentina and after a short nap, he was up and finished the laminate floor in the kitchen!!!

So, it turns out I was worried about not being ready for nothing. Justice will have a place to lay his head when we bring him home from the hospital (as long as Marty can figure out how to put the crib together) and Marty and I will even have a more beautiful house out of the deal too!

Seriously, it almost feels like a completely new house. There's still a long list of stuff that has to be done - doors hung, hardward installed, trim painted and hung, blah blah blah. But! But, there's this sense of accomplishment that comes with it all that makes the pain and the sleepiness worth it.

Life is slowly returning to normal. We actually eat meals at home now, that I cook. Nevermind that they may or may not have come out of a box. If I have to add heat, I cooked it.

So, nesting, as it turns out, is a real thing - not just a myth. And it didn't pass me by! Hallelujah!

Now, If I could just get Marty to realize how much more superior Starbucks is to Dunkin Donuts, I could at least get a morning caffeine fix instead of just chocolate milk.

What the....it's already week 27?

People keep asking me when I'm due. I think I might answer that one question on average about 3 times a day. I don't mind (April 22, by the way)I think the part that scares me is the response that usually follows. "It's coming!" or "It'll be here before you know it!" Perhaps to some women that's reassurance - "Thank goodness it's almost over," "it can't come fast enough," "i'm ready." However, for me, that response scares me to death.

Please know, I'm really starting to enjoy being pregnant. I don't mind people touching my belly anymore not since I started to feel him move around anyway. I don't mind people asking how I'm feeling. But perhaps that's the problem too. I'm just now starting to get the hang of it and I'm over the half way mark! Marty looked at me last night and said, "Just 13 more weeks!" I think I might have gone into shock.

When people respond, "Not long now," all I can think of is the mess that still clutters my home under the guises of kitchen remodeling and the mess my husband calls his office which is actually where he keeps his clothes piled on a chair and a lot of musical instruments. All of this stands in the way of a room becoming a nursery and me feeling a little bit more secure about a baby coming home with us one day. All of that haunts me when someone says, "not long now!" "I'll never be ready," is my immediate thought. I suppose that's why people look at me with such confusion after they give a remark that probably brings relief to women and my face simply scrunches up and I give a pathetic, "yeah."

So, basically, I just wanted to let the world know, via this source, that I really am excited. If it doesn't look like it when you're trying to be assuring please forgive me. The fear just seems to take over at the most inopportune times. I'll try better from now on I promise. We're getting there as far as being prepared but in the meantime, please accept my apologies.

Thank you most sincerely,
Joy

The Orange Peel!

Last night Marty and I went out with a bunch of friends to celebrate my birthday. It was a little late but I didn't mind. I got great sushi out of the deal. Near the end of the meal, Bernie tells the server that it is my birthday. To my horror, the next thing you hear is a really loud man over a microphone yelling, "Happy Birthday" along with all of the wait staff and even the kitchen staff. They sang to me in English and what I can only presume to be Japanese.

At the end of the singing - I was at this point ready to kill Bernie - our server says to me, "Our chef here at Ru Sans got something extra special for you for your birthday." He then lays a plate on the table in front of me with an orange on it. "Oh, uh, thanks?" I respond. "No, open it," he says. It's got a few cuts in it. So I begin to peel away afraid something might jump out at me or squirt me. Well, when I finally got the orange peeled, I really did have an extra special gift from the chef - a man made out of an orange peel. He was quite equipped - if you know what I mean.

Just in case you don't, here's a pic to let you know.

That made every embarrassing moment worth it.

Here's hoping your birthday is just as hilarious!

So, it turns out the Chinese Lunar Calendar was right. Marty and I are going to have a boy!

I didn't really think that could happen. Seriously. I mean I knew that it could happen but I didn't really think that could happen to me. Don't get me wrong - I'm excited we're going to have a boy but it does scare me a little. I don't understand boys. Now there's one floating around in me.

There are boy parts floating around in me! Gross!

So, that's freaking me out a little bit. I really am excited though. This is the first time all of this has seemed real. We saw little arms and little legs, a head, a spine, a belly. He was moving around like crazy! It was great.

In 20 weeks we'll be bringing a bouncing baby boy into the world! Get ready!

Sweet Dreams Are Made of These...

I'm not sure they've been so sweet lately but dreams I have had.
Here are the ones I can remember, in no particular order.

About a month ago I had a dream that a charter bus pulled up to wherever Marty and I were standing and delivered a kid to us for adoption. I was cool with that. Next thing I know, it wasn't just one kid but three. I hadn't even had my own yet. I remember looking at my mom in the dream and saying, "Four! I can't have four! Not all at once!"

A couple of nights ago I dreamed that I was in the hospital in a large room where they keep a lot of patients (perhaps four or five). I was hooked up to an IV when I noticed that my friend was in a bed across the room from me. We decided to take a walk around the hospital. I noticed that in a few places on her face, her skin was sort of not right. Kind of a different color and hanging off. It was weird but I never asked her what happened. Both of us leave the hospital, we are still in our gowns but we get in a car. Then I notice that her face has healed. Her skin, where it healed is a totally different color than the rest of her face. It was along her jawline and it looked like she had a prosthetic jaw put in. THEN I realized she was holding the old part of her face that had evidently been mauled by a bear! I asked her why her skin on her jaw was a different color. She said it was because they grafted it from her butt!

Last night I had two!

The first: My mom, Lorelie and I were shopping in a pretty cool shopping area. We stopped into a store to get some hot tea and cookies. Well, mom and Lorelie got theirs but when it was time for me to get mine, they were ready to go and unwilling to wait on me. So, I told the saleslady and she said, "oh, don't worry. I'll come with you." So, we travel down the hallway of the shopping center a ways and I sample a Lime cookie with chocolate chips in it. I order that and a cup of pink grapefruit hot tea (strange what you remember in dreams). I go to take the cookie I have already sampled and liked and the girl stops me. I can't have that cookie because it is now a sample. She cuts off the part that I ate and puts it in a baggie. Then she puts a tag, one that you would find on a new pair of pants, through the cookie. She hands me a fresh cookie and my cup of hot tea and we are on our way.

The second: A group of us are headed to a conference or something. We have to perform there. It's almost like I'm a leader in a choir or something and I also have speaking lines. Well, someone says something funny during the meeting and I make a funny laugh and some noise and get in trouble from another leader. Whatever. Then we head to our rooms. Mine is already trashed before I can blink. Littered with my clothes. I notice then that there is a massive costume party happening at the pool. Where a pool came from, I'm not sure. So, a friend knocks on my door and asks if I'm ready to go. Give me a minute. I frantically start looking for my costume. I find a hula skirt and begin to try and tie it around my belly (it, of course, doesn't fit). I'm also carrying around a stuffed crocodile at this point. I've eaten off one of his arms. It was quite tasty. Anyway, I'm looking for my costume (brown swimsuit and hula skirt, I guess) when I notice that on the bed my mother has laid out a crocodile costume for me! Why a crocodile? When did my mom show up? Oh well! I put it on and it wasn't tight across my belly. It was quite comfortable. Thanks mom!

People tell me that all dreams means something - the people in the dream, the items. I'm not sure I think every dream means something but I can almost guess the last two dreams meant I was hungry.

Sweet dreams!

Random Thoughts

1. I love those parking spaces that are labeled "For New and Expectant Mothers." I take advantage of them every chance I get. I am also considering writing a letter to establishments that do not have any.
2. A guy at church the other day said I was glowing. I really think it's the new Mineral Essence Powder I'm using!
3. I wonder if I'm behind on the whole planning process for baby. People keep asking me if we've picked a nursery theme or colors. Nope. They look so disappointed when I tell them that.
4. Fiber Capsules are a pregnant girl's best friend.
5. Icy Hot may give the Fiber Capsules a run for their money.
6. And while Icy Hot and Fiber may be a pregnant girl's best friend, Tums and Zantac 75 at least deserve great friend status.
7. I wonder if there's a clothing line that makes clothes for the time in between normal belly and "Woa, you must be due this month!" Choosing what to wear each morning has become an adventure to say the least.
8. Marty is my hero. He now lifts the almost heavy things - like the laundry basket and the box I need from the car. He also now gives me a back rub every night if I ask. I never take advantage. Last night he didn't even complain about having to be the one to administer the Icy Hot (usually there's at least a grunt).
9. I can't believe we find out in two days (this Thursday) if we're having a boy or a girl. Woohoo!
10. At the suggestion of my wonderful sister-in-law I've done some of those quizzes you can take online that tell you if you're having a boy or a girl by using Old Wives Tales. One quiz I took said we're 71% likely to have a boy. Another one said we're 61% likely to have a girl. However, the Chinese Lunar Calendar said we will have a boy. I guess we'll find out soon enough!

In the meantime, stretchy clothing rules!
Joy

Grrr...

So, I know, I should really let it go and move on. The pointing, patting, name-calling and everything else will only get worse from here on out. Too bad I want to be treated like the girl named Joy. It's too late. All people see is my belly. That's all people talk about, all people look at and all people want to touch.

So, I've decided, unless someone says something seriously rude or steps way past the line, that this will be my last blog complaining about the idiocy of non-pregnant people. No offense to those of you who aren't pregnant - I'm just mad.

Today, a stupid woman walked passed me who knows I'm prego because she's one of the ones who thought she could pat my belly and said....AND SAID, "You're gaining weight Gurl." She said it like it was the cutest thing anyone could ever say to a pregnant woman.

Duh! Like I don't know that! Like I'm not having a hard time every morning figuring out what to wear because my normal clothes are too small and my maternity ones are too big.

Duh! Like I don't know that I'm gaining weight from the protruding belly that is getting harder and harder to hide. Non-pregnant women don't get why I'd want to hide it, I know. They think it's cute but to me, it just looks like fat.

So, to everyone who thinks it's fun to point out the ever so obvious belly (like I didn't know it was there) and to ANYONE who wants to talk about my weight, go jump off a cliff!! Gaining weight when you're pregnant sucks just like it does when you're not pregnant. At least at this point it does. I'm not really expecting that to change all that much.

And so, while there is still plenty of rage within me, I will choose to focus on the good. Next time someone says something to me that is just stupid, I'll just flick them off or better yet, talk about their weight. Ooooh, that sounds like fun!

Doesn't anyone have suggestions on how to handle the ignorance? Please? Something. And don't tell me it will get better or that the life growing within me is worth it - I know that but it doesn't really help right now.

Letting go of the rage,
Joy

Weeks 17 - 20

So, I'm not quite at 17 weeks but Friday's coming. I was reading a pregnancy site today and found this.

Your Mood
Don't be surprised if you start to experience "pregnancy brain" (aka "fuzzy brain"), which is characterized by the inability to remember simple words and tasks--or why they even matter! The mood swings you had in your first trimester have most likely abated, and you might be feeling excited and energized.


Just so everyone knows that I can at least laugh at myself - "pregnancy brain" has set in.

Yesterday I went to CVS to get some medicine. I paid for it and headed to church. After church, we all headed to my parents' house for lunch. I change and head to the restroom. On my way I ask Marty to go get my medicine out of the car. He goes, comes back and asks me what type of medicine it was. I tell him and then say, "It would've been in a CVS bag."

He says, "There's no CVS bag in there. Did you leave it at church?"

Then it hits me. No, I didn't leave the stupid stuff at church. I NEVER EVEN LEFT THE STORE WITH IT!!!

Welcome to my life.

The things I'm starting to mind...

So, this Friday I'll be 16 weeks pregnant. It's strange to think that four months have passed already.

What's also strange are the things you never think you'll mind before you're pregnant but ABSOLUTELY MIND once you are pregnant. I think a part of me thought that with pregnancy came an extra dose of grace to give that perhaps makes you more radiant. I missed the extra dose of grace somewhere and I'm definitely not feeling radiant at all. Most of the time I feel like slapping hands and biting people's heads off. Hopefully it's just a stage.

So, while I have to admit that when my other friends were pregnant, I did touch their bellies. However, I ALWAYS ASKED FIRST. There are now several women that I barely know who simply think it's there God-given right to touch what doesn't belong to them - in passing. I'm not even showing all that much yet!!

Then, there are those who have forgotten that I'm a person and simply know me as pregnant and have nothing else to ask me but how I feel. I know. Everyone's trying to be supportive and sympathetic but I feel normal. I'm still just a regular girl!

Perhaps the one that makes me the most livid are those who think it's funny to insist that I'm having twins!! I know the truth. I've seen the sonogram. There's only one heartbeat in there, only one set of arm buds and leg buds, only one egg sac. So, why should it bother me when I know it isn't true? I think it comes down to ignorance. It sends chills down my spine like nails down a chalkboard that people WHO HAVE NEVER EVEN HAD A BABY think they might know better than I do what might come out of my body. Why would anyone want to add extra fear to your already crazy hormones? Why would anyone want to wish on you two babies when you're scared to death that you might not be able to handle just one. It's just plain rude and mean. I also think it comes down to the steps I'm on in my journey never being enough for others. We all get it, right? When you're dating everyone wants to know when you'll get engaged. When you're engaged, everyone wants to know when you'll get married. And then, the day after you get married, people not only want to know but feel like it's their duty to pressure you into having children. Then, when you are going to have a child, that's still not enough! It has to be two! Just let me be for Pete's sake!

Perhaps these days I'm just a little bit more hormonal than usual (go figure) and the only one to receive my rage is poor Marty and you - dear internet.

So, words to the wise for those of you who aren't pregnant. Treat pregnant women like they're normal. If you wouldn't normally ask them how they're doing, just keep on walking. If you're not close enough to pat her stomache when she's not pregnant at least have the decency to ask while she's pregnant. And for God sakes, NEVER EVER tell a woman she's having twins as her first child. If she is, then celebrate with her but if she's not celebrate with her what she is having.

Oh, and one more thing, don't ask her if she should be eating or drinking "that." Don't ask her if she's capable of carrying something. If she can't do it, she won't - it's as simple as that.

Please I ask you! Stop the madness.
From a woman who's about to lose all decorum. Thank you.

Today just begun and already I can tell it's going to be great. I woke up not tired this morning which hasn't happened in a while. When I went outside to get in my car there was a chill in the air! It actually feels like fall today - my favorite time of year. On my way to work I had a chai tea latte and a pumpkin cream cheese muffin and they tasted like fall. And, on my way in I was listening to Sara Groves. She always reminds me of the fall - her and the Counting Crows.

I tried figuring out why the fall is my favorite time of year. I think I wrote about it last year at this time. For me it has to do with reminiscing and loving what I remember. It makes me feel like going out and buying school supplies - a trapper keeper, cool pens, and a new backpack that matches my high top converse. I want to sit outside and watch the leaves change color.

As I looked for leaves that had changed color on the way in this morning, I thought about the process - why they're changing. All of nature is going into hybernation. Perhaps I should hybernate for a while - pull away, rest, learn from the Creator who has taught his creation what is important. There is a season - turn, turn, turn.

I hope you have a chance to buy some finger paints this season.