Grrr...

So, I know, I should really let it go and move on. The pointing, patting, name-calling and everything else will only get worse from here on out. Too bad I want to be treated like the girl named Joy. It's too late. All people see is my belly. That's all people talk about, all people look at and all people want to touch.

So, I've decided, unless someone says something seriously rude or steps way past the line, that this will be my last blog complaining about the idiocy of non-pregnant people. No offense to those of you who aren't pregnant - I'm just mad.

Today, a stupid woman walked passed me who knows I'm prego because she's one of the ones who thought she could pat my belly and said....AND SAID, "You're gaining weight Gurl." She said it like it was the cutest thing anyone could ever say to a pregnant woman.

Duh! Like I don't know that! Like I'm not having a hard time every morning figuring out what to wear because my normal clothes are too small and my maternity ones are too big.

Duh! Like I don't know that I'm gaining weight from the protruding belly that is getting harder and harder to hide. Non-pregnant women don't get why I'd want to hide it, I know. They think it's cute but to me, it just looks like fat.

So, to everyone who thinks it's fun to point out the ever so obvious belly (like I didn't know it was there) and to ANYONE who wants to talk about my weight, go jump off a cliff!! Gaining weight when you're pregnant sucks just like it does when you're not pregnant. At least at this point it does. I'm not really expecting that to change all that much.

And so, while there is still plenty of rage within me, I will choose to focus on the good. Next time someone says something to me that is just stupid, I'll just flick them off or better yet, talk about their weight. Ooooh, that sounds like fun!

Doesn't anyone have suggestions on how to handle the ignorance? Please? Something. And don't tell me it will get better or that the life growing within me is worth it - I know that but it doesn't really help right now.

Letting go of the rage,
Joy

Weeks 17 - 20

So, I'm not quite at 17 weeks but Friday's coming. I was reading a pregnancy site today and found this.

Your Mood
Don't be surprised if you start to experience "pregnancy brain" (aka "fuzzy brain"), which is characterized by the inability to remember simple words and tasks--or why they even matter! The mood swings you had in your first trimester have most likely abated, and you might be feeling excited and energized.


Just so everyone knows that I can at least laugh at myself - "pregnancy brain" has set in.

Yesterday I went to CVS to get some medicine. I paid for it and headed to church. After church, we all headed to my parents' house for lunch. I change and head to the restroom. On my way I ask Marty to go get my medicine out of the car. He goes, comes back and asks me what type of medicine it was. I tell him and then say, "It would've been in a CVS bag."

He says, "There's no CVS bag in there. Did you leave it at church?"

Then it hits me. No, I didn't leave the stupid stuff at church. I NEVER EVEN LEFT THE STORE WITH IT!!!

Welcome to my life.

The things I'm starting to mind...

So, this Friday I'll be 16 weeks pregnant. It's strange to think that four months have passed already.

What's also strange are the things you never think you'll mind before you're pregnant but ABSOLUTELY MIND once you are pregnant. I think a part of me thought that with pregnancy came an extra dose of grace to give that perhaps makes you more radiant. I missed the extra dose of grace somewhere and I'm definitely not feeling radiant at all. Most of the time I feel like slapping hands and biting people's heads off. Hopefully it's just a stage.

So, while I have to admit that when my other friends were pregnant, I did touch their bellies. However, I ALWAYS ASKED FIRST. There are now several women that I barely know who simply think it's there God-given right to touch what doesn't belong to them - in passing. I'm not even showing all that much yet!!

Then, there are those who have forgotten that I'm a person and simply know me as pregnant and have nothing else to ask me but how I feel. I know. Everyone's trying to be supportive and sympathetic but I feel normal. I'm still just a regular girl!

Perhaps the one that makes me the most livid are those who think it's funny to insist that I'm having twins!! I know the truth. I've seen the sonogram. There's only one heartbeat in there, only one set of arm buds and leg buds, only one egg sac. So, why should it bother me when I know it isn't true? I think it comes down to ignorance. It sends chills down my spine like nails down a chalkboard that people WHO HAVE NEVER EVEN HAD A BABY think they might know better than I do what might come out of my body. Why would anyone want to add extra fear to your already crazy hormones? Why would anyone want to wish on you two babies when you're scared to death that you might not be able to handle just one. It's just plain rude and mean. I also think it comes down to the steps I'm on in my journey never being enough for others. We all get it, right? When you're dating everyone wants to know when you'll get engaged. When you're engaged, everyone wants to know when you'll get married. And then, the day after you get married, people not only want to know but feel like it's their duty to pressure you into having children. Then, when you are going to have a child, that's still not enough! It has to be two! Just let me be for Pete's sake!

Perhaps these days I'm just a little bit more hormonal than usual (go figure) and the only one to receive my rage is poor Marty and you - dear internet.

So, words to the wise for those of you who aren't pregnant. Treat pregnant women like they're normal. If you wouldn't normally ask them how they're doing, just keep on walking. If you're not close enough to pat her stomache when she's not pregnant at least have the decency to ask while she's pregnant. And for God sakes, NEVER EVER tell a woman she's having twins as her first child. If she is, then celebrate with her but if she's not celebrate with her what she is having.

Oh, and one more thing, don't ask her if she should be eating or drinking "that." Don't ask her if she's capable of carrying something. If she can't do it, she won't - it's as simple as that.

Please I ask you! Stop the madness.
From a woman who's about to lose all decorum. Thank you.

Today just begun and already I can tell it's going to be great. I woke up not tired this morning which hasn't happened in a while. When I went outside to get in my car there was a chill in the air! It actually feels like fall today - my favorite time of year. On my way to work I had a chai tea latte and a pumpkin cream cheese muffin and they tasted like fall. And, on my way in I was listening to Sara Groves. She always reminds me of the fall - her and the Counting Crows.

I tried figuring out why the fall is my favorite time of year. I think I wrote about it last year at this time. For me it has to do with reminiscing and loving what I remember. It makes me feel like going out and buying school supplies - a trapper keeper, cool pens, and a new backpack that matches my high top converse. I want to sit outside and watch the leaves change color.

As I looked for leaves that had changed color on the way in this morning, I thought about the process - why they're changing. All of nature is going into hybernation. Perhaps I should hybernate for a while - pull away, rest, learn from the Creator who has taught his creation what is important. There is a season - turn, turn, turn.

I hope you have a chance to buy some finger paints this season.

Our First Baby Pic!

Matt said that our baby looks a lot like Ella did at that age. Go figure!

Sometimes I wonder if other people make as many mistakes as I do. I'm not talking about the mistakes that don't matter like putting too much paprika in the chicken for dinner or forgetting a phone number. I mean mistakes that really make a difference like forgetting to add someone to a list that means whether or not they go on a trip. Pretty important stuff.

I'm learning the value of checking and double checking and copying people on emails. Perhaps someday I'll get it right. In between I'm wondering when the big mistakes will stop. Geez!

Hope your day is working out more mistake-free than mine!

On a whim...

Got a call yesterday from Kelly who announced that Dave Barnes was doing a concert at the Gwinnett Arena last night. $10 a ticket? Okay, I'll go. So, Marty and I headed out. It's strange to think that there was a time in my life where doing things in the middle of the week was normal now it's a rarity.

So, Dave was amusing. He played a great set for about an hour. The room wasn't packed - not even close - but he was still full of great stories and beautiful songs. I have a favorite that gives me goose bumps every time I hear it. Last night, hearing it live was breath-taking.

Just in case you haven't gotten a Dave Barnes CD yet, I suggest you do so.

Here's a little taste:

They tell me, this song's reserved for angels
Just sing me one a stranger just to prove your love
and you know they tell me
you've given poor men kingdoms
landed guilty freedom
taken on their stains
Your love will never change

They tell me, you dwell with good and evil
Alleys and Cathedrals
Shadows in our lives
and you know they tell me
You hold the world together
Not from guilt but pleasure
You somehow know my name
Your love will never change

So tell me there's nothing that you can't do
Love me though I've hurt you
You take all my blame
Your love will never change
Your love will never change

Have a great dave!
Joy

The Jet Lag Blues

So, I woke up this morning quite abruptly at 2 a.m. What? Go back to sleep, go back to sleep, go back to sleep. Not happening. I counted backwards from 300. I got to around 150 before I got bored. The thoughts of what lie ahead of me bombarded. Then I realized I was hungry. So, I quietly slid out of bed and dug through my backpack which still hasn't been unpacked (thankfully) and found the snacks I packed for the trip which went untouched. I grabbed a pack of Cheez-Its and hung out in the bathroom for about five minutes munching. I crawled back in bed and began the routine all over again. Ugh! I'm not quite sure when I fell back asleep again but I know I saw 3:30 and possibly something closer to 4. Needless to say, today I'm done. I feel like a zombie sitting here. So, I figured I'd write more about Australia. I promised I would while I was there but time just didn't allow.

Marty and I were asked while we were there what our Highs and Lows were of the conference. So I figured to give everyone a brief overview, I could stick to that. We really received a lot of great teaching. I guess that was the highlight. We got really deep stuff. For example, Danielle spoke one night about Gideon.
Notes:
If we're really going to be the people God called us to be - free and freeing others - something has to shift.
1. True Humility
2. True Dependency
True humility is agreeing with God about who you are. Gideon's been getting his definition about who he is from different places - the world, his family, his occupation.
False humility - the I suck mentality. Who's defining you?
Peace is not the absence of conflict it is the presence of war. (someone famous said that)
We are not fighting out of insecurity. We are fighting for righteousness and justice and because we agree with God about who we are.
True dependency is agreeing with God about who HE is. Gideon creates circumstances where only God can show up (the fleece). We settle for things that we can do. We need to believe God for more and create pockets in our lives where only God can show up.
We have to start coming into agreement about what God says regarding each other.

So, that was a little taste of what we got. That was just one of the speaks. My favorite meeting simply because it was fun was Saturday morning. Steve and Danielle led us in a time of worship called Harp and Bowl. Before the meeting Steve was hopping around like a kid in a candy shop because he was so excited to do it. That morning I felt like crap - cough, tired, nauseous. I didn't know if I could make it through the meeting. Danielle and Steve start to teach about Harp and Bowl - where the reference comes from Scripturally (Revelation). They explained to us that there are angels around the throne of God who hold a harp in one hand and a bowl of incense in the other which is the intercessory prayers of the saints. They said that the angels are worshipping while praying. That's what we were going to do. So, a scripture verse came up on the screen (Ephesians 3:16 - 21) and Danielle prayed a pray for The Salvation Army based on that scripture. The entire time the worship band was playing. After Danielle finished her prayer, one of the guys from the band sang a spontaneous prayer from that scripture for The Salvation Army for 30 seconds. Then Marty went. Then Kath went and then....oh, and then, THE ENTIRE CONGREGATION WENT!!! It was really cool to hear an entire room filled with intercessory prayers for The Salvation Army that were worshipful. I loved it!

So, that's just a little bit more about the conference. If you'd like to see the DVD of the Harp and Bowl experience, just let me know and I'll see what I can do.

Perhaps tomorrow I'll talk about the week after the conference during Marty and I's vacation but the highlight of the trip really was the conference. Does that make me a sad person? Nah.

True peace,
Joy

ACC06:Free

The theme for ACC06 is Free. The tag line that goes with it was written by an American journalist. "Average people don't want to be free. They just want to be safe." I'm learning a lot about just how average I am. It seems to be the theme I keep coming back to - inaction, resolve to do something but then never really doing it, laziness, excuses. It's quite sad really. When will the day come where dependence on God is really a part of my life and not just something I talk about. So, I have to choose to quit talking and complaining and move - with or without Marty or anyone else. I can't wait any longer for someone to walk beside me although that's what I desperately long for. Do what? I'm not sure. Start a cell group that I'm actually longing to go to instead of one that I just semi-commit to. Perhaps actually meet my neighbors and GET TO KNOW them. I've only lived there for six years - you'd think it was different. As an officer's kid perhaps it wasn't necessary to know my neighbors because I had built in friends at the corps and at school. I'm tired of being friends with just Christians. I'm ready to know non-Christians.

I'm sure that all of you who read my blog are probably tired of reading the same thing over and over again. I'm tired of writing it. I'm incredibly tired of living it. So, here goes. No more. It's time to leave the sub-living behind. I'm ready for full-living, full-trying, full-hoping and full-depending.

Anyway, it's been quite a good conference. I've had to take a mental break today from a few of the sessions. I was just starting to overload. Danielle Strickland, Campbell Roberts, Phil Wall have all been great. Hitting home for me - obviously.

Marty's been leading worship during the day sessions and everyone seems to really enjoy his style of worship. It's nice to see Salvos from another country appreciating what he has to offer.

The other thing I find quite refreshing is the amount of young adults around here who choose to own The Salvation Army as their own. They aren't ashamed of being Salvos. While I know that they must have some complaints or some constructive criticism along the way, it's been nice to be here and not have a diatribe of negative conversations regarding the Army. I'm just enjoying being a part of it this week. The young adults here wear pieces of their uniform with normal clothes. They put their epaluettes on non-uni shirts. I saw a girl last night wearing her uniform shirt with jeans and a cool big black belt and boots. It just looks like it's a part of who they are. I hope that they wear these things to places besides the Army corps. Some girl said to me this morning that I should start the trend in America. I told her that I don't really want to. I'm just not that commited to my uniform. Is that a sad thing? Probably. I'm just not ready to wrestle with that question yet. There are bigger concerns in my Christian walk and my Christian walk as a Salvo that I feel I should actually take apart and examine before the uniform issue. It's just a really cool and refreshing thing to see the uniform become relevant.

So, I'm out of time. Perhaps I'll have more tomorrow or Sunday. We'll see.

It's been worth the 21 hours on a plane and the week's not over.

Australia so far....

So, Marty and I arrived safely in Australia yesterday morning (Monday) around 9 a.m. which would have been 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. I think.

So far, our trip has been quite eventful. Before we left home, Marty's face started to swell up as a result of some dental work he had done last week. He had gotten some anti-inflammatory pills as well as an antibiotic but by the time we got off the plane yesterday, the swelling was worse. Welcome to Australia!

So, we spent our first day going to the dentist. We found out he'll have to have a root canal done when we return home. Yeah! The dentist here did give him more antibiotics and told him he should be okay until then.

I definitely hope so.

Aggressive Christianity Conference starts tomorrow. I'm really excited about what we'll learn. Hopefully I'll get a chance to update everyone throughout.

A Profane Faith

A co-worker left an article by Doug Giles in my mailbox this morning. It's called "A Profane Faith." She said I may not have written it but she could hear me saying it. Halfway through the article I thought - this is what I believe but I'm not so great at making it a reality. Here's the part I liked best:
"To help you take your Christianity out of the Christian ghetto where the secularists would love you to remain, here's a simple can do: start to see life as a whole. Begin to merge, as J.I. Packer says:
Your Christianity with culture,
Your contemplation with achievement,
Your worship with work,
Your labor with rest,
Your fasting with a Fosters,
Your love of God with love of neighbor and self,
Your personal identity with social identity,
Your wide spectrum of relational responsibilities with each other in a thoroughly conscientious and considered way.
Try that next week, next month and the next few years, and watch your influence spread like butter."

It's nothing new really. My favorite was the line about the Fosters. I think because if you're talking about beer - you're talking about bars. Why not go there?It seems I have segregated myself from non-Christians in an unconscious manner. I want to become a part of people's lives who don't get church, much less, The Salvation Army. Fado Fado, here I come. I think the early slum sisters did that.

What Owen Thinks of Us

Evidently, a month or so ago, Dawn and Matt were eating at a Mexican restaurant with Owen, their son, my incredible nephew. Well, there was this painting on the wall. Dawn sent it to Marty letting him know that when Owen saw this painting, he thought of Marty and I. I'm not sure what I think about that but it is quite amusing.

What do you think? Appropriate representation of the two of us?

Hmmmm....

I'm an Aunt again!

Yesterday was a miraculous day in the Cunningham family.

ELLA GRACE CUNNINGHAM was born! She weighed 7 pounds 11 ounces and is 20 inches long. She's got big feet and little ears and was a little bit stubborn on the way out. I just heard that part through the door.

I got to watch my brother walk into a new role as father and all that that entails. I watched him care for his adorable wife and cheer his daughter into the world. He's accomplished many things in his life but this has to be the pinnacle! How can you get a title more important than Daddy or Mommy? They are going to be fantastic parents. It's surreal to think she's finally here - the beautiful baby all of us have been waiting on and hoping for.

Here are a few pictures from yesterday. The first few are of us impatiently waiting it out in the delivery room. The last are of Ella and her family! Ella baby, we've been waiting on you a long time. Welcome to the world! We're going to have a great time together.

Jamie Cullum at Chastain Park

So, for Marty's birthday I bought him tickets to go see Jamie Cullum at Chastain Park. I never knew how absolutely cool the venue at Chastain Park is. Before Jamie ever came on stage, I had already vowed that Marty and I would be back - with a picnic next time! It was absolutely fabulous and even though I had already had dinner - I needed some food just to feel like I was getting everything out of the experience! Those chocolate strawberries were the best I have ever had - no kidding. Thank you Whole Foods.

Jamie's opening act was the Gabe Dixon Band. They are really incredible and you would do well to buy his CD. In fact, I would do well to buy his CD.

Then, Jamie Cullum came on stage and for the rest of the night I could not stop singing or smiling or clapping. He is dynamic on stage. He jumps off of his piano, steps on the keys with his foot yet all the time he's making incredible music. He began with "Ordinary Life" which is one of my favorites and then continued to play every single one of the songs I love. My favorite song that he performed was "These are the days." It was like there was magic in the air. You could feel it! I was mesmerized.

I'm not usually into just summarizing my evenings. I do usually have a point but not today. I just wanted to say that I had a great night last night singing and dancing and laughing to Jamie Cullum's rhythm.

If you haven't bought his CDs yet. Do it! You'll love his music, I know it!

Marty, thank you for a beautiful evening. I love spending my life with you.

My July 4th

Here's how Marty, my mom and I spent July 4th this year.

To the voice

Yesterday while at work, my friend told me about this excellent idea she had. She said she made brownies once and before she poured the batter in the pan, she broke up a milky way bar and put it in the bottom of the pan. Then she baked it. She also melted a milky way bar and poured it over the top of the brownies for icing.

By the time I left work yesterday, I needed a brownie. I didn't want a brownie. I needed it. On the drive home, I talked myself into waiting until after dinner. If I was still hungry and if I still wanted a brownie then, I could have one.

So, I ate dinner - and I was still hungry. But then I realized I'd have to put on shoes and that would require walking upstairs....so, I settled for a bowl of cereal.

BUT I WAS STILL HUNGRY! Maybe I just really wanted the brownie after all. So, I put on my shoes, went to Sonic, got my Hot Fudge Cake Sundae (not quite the same but it will work) and then I felt the need for tater tots too - so I order myself a small order. I raced home. Got myself situated on the couch - and chowed down.

Then the guilt came. I didn't need that sundae and I definitely didn't need the tater tots. Why oh why do I do that to myself? Perhaps an occasional splurge is worth it - and needed but if it's needed, why do I feel so bad about myself afterwards.

I have to face the scale today at Weight Watchers - duh duh duh. The horror.

So, to the voice within me that constantly cries out for chocolate - not just during PMS but all year long, I say....

"Shut up while I eat my salad."

Vacation and Graduation

Marty and I just got back from vacation two weeks ago. I know, I'm behind. Deal with it! We had such an incredible time! We went to his sister's graduation from Med School and then boarded a big boat and headed to Key West and the Bahamas. Woohoo! We ate lots and lots of ice cream. Bethany, Kim and I went kayaking and we all hung out on the BEACH!! People keep commenting on my tan but it will be gone in a minute. All that work for short-lived results.

We came home last Thursday and Marty graduated on Saturday! What a great day! We had a party to celebrate. Low Country Boil, Jake (Jason and Kelly's dog) taking a swim in the goldfish pond, funny t-shirts made by Bethany and an all-around good time.

We loved the Sushi Bar - especially Bethany!


Owen had a fancy trick. That boy could not make that spoon fall off his nose for anything.

It was nice having Kim there. Welcome to the family!


Dawn, Matt and Owen - we never get to spend enough time with them.



Marty was so good at math he took it 3 times!

There has been a lack of inspiration lately. I'm in a strange place these days and can't get past it to post. I'm not really wanting to or willing to share what I may not have given a second thought to 5 months ago. I can't now. I resort to pictures and fun things I've done just for the sake of posting. I rather like not allowing myself to feel pressured to come up with something brilliant to write about. Let's face it, so many others do that so much better than I do.

When I can figure out the ups and downs again, I'll return to meanderings and thought-provoking posts. In the meantime, I promise to post events and pictures. Both are many times less interesting but that's about all I've got right now. I hope you will enjoy them.

Bethany graduated today. She is now a doctor. All of the Mikles clan plus one Kim Touchton will board a boat on Saturday and cruise to Key West and the Bahamas. Yay! Then, next Saturday, my husband graduates from college. I'm so proud of both of them. I can't wait.

Enjoy your weekend - I know I will.

Global Night Commute

This Saturday night I'm hoping to be involved in Atlanta's Global Night Commute. What is that you ask? Thousands of men, women and children across the United States are lying down and closing their eyes to join the invisible children in Norther Uganda. By doing so, they will demand that our government put an end to the longest running war in Africa and one of the worst crises in the world today.

All this I stole from the Invisible Children website linked to the title. So often we want to do more and make a difference. Well, on Saturday night, April 29 you can. Find out where the Global Night Commute is happening in your city and take part. We have an opportunity to make the children of Uganda's plight known and heard by our government.

Here's to a sleepless night.

Joy

Yesterday afternoon Gabriela, Jason, Lucy and I went to the Hamptons at Lennox to spend time with some kids. We go every week. Usually we just play games with them, give them a snack, pray with them and then send them home. Yesterday Jason brought pictures back to them of his trip to China.

Before Jason left we told the kids that he was going because there were people in China selling children and that he needed to find out more so that he could help. (If you want to read the specifics about his trip, try three posts back.) Anyway, we told the kids at the apartment complex the children and women in China were being sold. We thought that answer was valid. The kids seemed to be okay with that.

Yesterday Jason begins to show his pictures. He gets through about 30 of them and gets to one about a boy who is 16 whose mother was sold a few years earlier. That wasn't enough for the children in the room. The questions began. Why are they sold? Do the people kill them? Are they used for work?

How do you tell children who are between the ages of seven and thirteen that there are women and children in the world who are being sold for sex? You don't I suppose. There will come a time when they know more than they need to about sex and can help combat the problem. What's sufficient for now though? How do you express to children the reason why Jason had to go to China? How do you impress upon them the severity of the issue?

I see the children that we spend time with every week and I see their naivety when it comes to such things and I realize that children just like them - their age, their size - are being used for sex. It makes the problem of sexual trafficking that much more real to me. Then I wonder if there is a chance that any of these children, sitting in this room, could be trafficked. My heart breaks because I know it could happen. Traffickers don't just live overseas anymore. They live in my city and they probably live on this street.

I've been wondering how much good we're doing spending time with a dozen children each week. We don't teach them Bible lessons or sing Sunday School choruses. We just pray with them and ask them to keep coming. We may not be able to save them from something so evil. I do know that spending two hours with them each week keeps them away from predators for that short amount of time. Meanwhile they are learning that talking to God isn't hard and that they can trust us. Two things that don't seem to come so easily.

I'm now just wondering what more we can do.

Lord, please give us that kind of wisdom to see justice prevail here.

Girl's Weekend Away

this past weekend i got to spend time in Savannah with my best friend - Lorelie! we had such an incredible time - eating at the Pink House, staying in the Marshall House, walking around the town until it felt like our feet might fall off, learning about Pulaski and Oglethorpe and how they shaped the town. we ate milky way cake for breakfast!

the souvenirs from the weekend come in the form of art. we bought sketch books on saturday and decided to walk around the town and draw what we saw. here's some of the beautiful works of Joy and Lorelie that i'm sure you will appreciate. beside them are the pictures of the actual scenery.

to chatham artillary!

The Fountain in Johnson Square




The Huge Fountain that Caused Some Drawing Difficulties



And this one is Lorelie with her brand new sketch book. Thanks for a great weekend! You're the best.

Jason in China

Hi Everyone! My friend Jason is going to China next week. Please read what he's written regarding what the Lord has called him to.

Thanks,
Joy

China - Touch Their Poverty!

I have been asked to be a part of a human trafficking assessment team to
Mainland China. I will be going with a team of Salvation Army leaders to
various project sites within poor communities in China which are at risk
for human trafficking. My role on the team will be to see the situation
through the eyes of a westerner and give my feedback as to how this problem
may best be communicated to the west. My goal for the trip is to "touch
their poverty." Or rather I want to be touched by their poverty! I want to
feel the discomfort of their living to the point of it breaking my heart.

This is something that The Salvation Army has always been called to do.
Last August I was able to read, "Good Morning China!" a book by Lt. Colonel
Check-Hung Yee which tells the history of The Salvation Army in China. In
an epilogue his daughter says, "As you step back in time and experience
God’s transforming work in this generation of brave soldiers, may your
heart also leap and be fanned to flame with the bond of love for China’'s
1.3 billion souls.’ As I read this book that is exactly what happened. I
found myself with a burning desire to go to China and see the Army at work
there.

I plan on coming back to the States with a renewed vision and passion for
God's calling on my life for the world. I will be leaving next Wednesday
and coming back on April 8th. I would love to ask you all to support me and
the team. Please pray for us even now as we prepare to go. On my return it
is my plan to provide a report of the trip on this blog.

One friend wrote to say the Lord had layed the following verse on his heart
regarding this trip:

'You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap
their hands. Instead of the thorn-bush will grow a pine tree, and instead
of briers, the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord's renown, for an
everlasting sign which will not be destroyed.'

Isaiah 55:12

I am raising support to cover the cost of this trip. If you feel that you
would like to help support this trip financially or would just like more
information please contact me at Jason_Pope@uss.salvationarmy.org.

Correction

Today I stand corrected. I should really consult the Word of God before I decide whether or not something is or is not Biblical. My good friend Anna pointed out to me that the saying "God is not a God of confusion" does indeed come from scripture and is not just some cute little saying that church people throw at us in the middle of a crises. I was wrong. I have been wrong in my life about a lot of things. I just wasn't ready for the simple that day - that's all.

I'm not quite sure I'm even where I was when I wrote last time. I think it was a pretty saying really - to ask God not to calm the storm but to show me his presence in all of it. I was too quick to criticize the disciples though. I always am.

Right about now I'm wishing the Lord would wake up and calm the storm.

In other news however, my beautiful cousin Leslie just had a gorgeous baby girl named Lindsey Nichole yesterday who weighed 4 pounds and 14 oz and was 19 inches long! God is the author of life.

Happy Birthday Lorelie and Beth!

It's Beth and Lorelie's Birthdays! I wish them both a really great day! Enjoy you two! I love you both!

Joy

God is a god of confusion?

I've been gone a long time! I didn't know it until I checked the date of my last post and realized that it was almost a month ago.

I don't have anything profound to give today. Marty and I are in the middle of the biggest decision we've ever faced as a married couple and while I know in the end this journey will be rewarding, in the middle it's just downright frustrating and tiring.

Someone, a lovely lady who attends Atlanta Temple, stopped me last Wednesday night after she found out about the decision we're facing and said, "Just remember, God is not a God of confusion. If there's confusion, God's not in it." I have used that line before with people. I believed it as well. Until last Wednesday night when a person offered that advice to me who doesn't really know me or Marty all that well. I walked away thinking - "I don't remember that part of the Bible." I don't remember Jesus saying of his father that he wasn't a God of confusion. What I'm pretty sure of is that the disciples spent a lot of their days in confusion - scratching their heads because they couldn't quite figure this Jesus guy out.

He definitely confused them - and the world around them.

I was left with the thought that the cliche I was handed wasn't really Biblically based at all but just something Christians made up to make themselves feel better instead of really pushing through to the end of the confusion to reveal a deeper relationship with their father. It sucks being in the middle of two choices. It sucks not really knowing what God wants from me specifically in all of this but I know he's teaching me that I need to listen more and pray more. Perhaps God is not a god of confusion but I'm beginning to believe he's in the middle of the confusion helping you know which way is up.

I'm reminded of the disciples in the boat during the storm. They thought they were going to drown. They woke Jesus up and he immediately calmed it but then he questioned their faith.

Is my faith big enough to ride out this storm? I don't want him to calm it if it doesn't bring growth.

Teach me Lord, in the middle of the confusion to hear you clearly and to trust you completely. I will not ask you to make the storm go away - just that you allow me to understand your presence in all of it.

5 Patients Healed

Marty and I sponsor the Bahay Paraiso Cancer Center through The Salvation Army. Basically this means that every month we donate $20 to this particular center in the Philippines and we help provide medical care, food, clothing and other supplies to the patients who are living at this center and have been diagnosed with cancer.

The cool thing is today, after sponsoring this home for a year, I received a report from the center. The first one! In January the center held a Salvation meeting that had an incredible impact on those in attendance. Patients who have no hope decided to put their hope and trust in the Lord. Others who believed strengthened their walk with Jesus.

The best part of all? Five of the patients from the Cancer Center were sent home because they were healed!!! God is doing incredible things in the Philippines!

Because I send $20/month to the Philippines I get to rejoice with my brothers and sisters in Christ when they are healed! I didn't do anything incredible. I didn't give up anything that I would have needed. Perhaps I miss out on a cup of Starbucks every now and again or a trip to McDonalds or the purchase of a new CD but I've never gone without. Please know I'm not trying to flaunt the fact that I sponsor a child. What I am trying to do is persuade others to join me. Currently there are over 400 names of children on The Salvation Army's list waiting for sponsors. Your money would provide schooling, food, shelter, clothes and medical coverage. There are a ton of other reasons to begin donating your resources to The Salvation Army's Child Sponsorship program - to help broken, needy families, to provide for children, to offer hope, to care for the fatherless, to defeat injustice. The rejoicing alongside them is just an added bonus. To see them gain a future is another added blessing. I hope you seriously consider sponsoring a child - no matter which sponsorship program you choose. Your gift is well worth the effort. Even if you never receive a report that five cancer patients were healed.

It's so worth giving up a White Chocolate Mocha.

To Healing and Sponsorship,
Joy

Quit It or Forget It

I'm just wondering if we focus too often on what we have to give up or quit instead of on what we can do and have the ability to do. Perhaps that's why Christians so often feel as if their walk with Christ is constantly struggling - because they just can't quit ....or they just can't get .... right.

I wonder how much more lovely our lives would be if we simply focused on our ability - what we have the right to do because God has graced us with the title of His child.

Just an early morning thought as I became frustrated over some reading material.

Blessings!

Sacrifice

Phil has written on a white board in his office the verse 2 Samuel 24:24: "I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God a sacrifice that costs me nothing." When I first read it I began to ponder what a sacrifice that would cost me something might look like.

This week I've been reading Leviticus. The first eight to ten chapters are God specifying to Moses exactly how the Israelites should offer their sacrifices; where the animals would be slaughtered, who would do the killing, which animals were for which sacrifices. It all seemed incredibly gory to me. I can't imagine being a priest during this time and spending my entire day covered in blood and burning animals. However, there were some things that fascinated me and made me consider my sacrifice.

In Scripture it is read as if every Israelite would just simply offer a sacrifice. It is taken for granted that they would want to do this. I was under the impression that sacrifices were just for atonement but they were also for an offering unto the Lord and for fellowship - to bless him. Maybe I'm showing my ignorance but I never received any teaching otherwise. So, Israelites were not simply required to bring a sacrifice, it was taken for granted that they would want to bring a sacrifice - above and beyond their sacrifice for atonement.

How often do I bring a sacrifice simply because I want to?

Their offerings were costly - the first, the perfect, the unblemished male of a herd. These animals were a part of their livlihood in most cases - if not, I'm sure they cost a pretty penny. They were offering what could've been used to feed a family. That brings it home for me. That's where the sacrifice really makes its understanding. Now I get sacrifice. These people were taking food off of their table, food from their children's mouths to offer it to the Lord.

Have I ever gone without to give to the Lord?

Then I wondered how often I would've been required to offer a sacrifice for my sin. Once a year would I have had to go without food? Once a month? Once a week? Daily?

Needless to say, when considering sacrifice this week I have been overwhelmed with understanding for the need of Jesus in my life and grateful beyond words for the fact that he took upon himself my sin - yearly, monthly, daily, hourly.

I am still left wondering however, what my sacrifice should be. I read somewhere that now our sacrifices our solely spiritual. I don't know that I agree. Does the Father still not ask sometimes for a fellowship sacrifice that shows up in the physical world? I don't have an answer.

Here are a few quotes I read regarding Leviticus that I thought I'd include because I think they're important.

On Leviticus 10
"The glory of God appeared not while the sacrifices were in offering but when the priests prayed, which intimates that the prayers and praises of God's spiritual priests are more pleasing to God than all burnt-offerings and sacrifices."

"God's consummation of the sacrifice signifies God entering into covenant and communion with them."

Any thoughts?

Retreat

There aren't words to describe how elated a girl can get when she watches her husband do what the Lord gifted him to do. Friday night Marty played at the Georgia ski retreat and he was able to do all of his own songs except for one. The response of the crowd, the presence of the Holy Spirit, the support of friends were all incredibly tangible. I couldn't stop beaming. I may be a little biased but I know he's got talent and I know he's going places. I just wish we knew which places.

Jason did a great job planning the Young Adult retreat. We took a detour from the beaten path and instead of doing normal meetings we had small groups for the entire weekend. Some of the studies were better than others but Sunday mornings left me begging for more. There wasn't enough time to finish the study and I really wanted to get there. I think it was partly because we studied one of my favorite scripture passages; Philippians 2: 1-11. Perhaps it's my favorite because I just can't get it. Anyway, I walked away begging the question - how much does obedience play a part in humility? What would it truly look like to "consider others better than yourselves" with regard to obedience to Christ? I think it's a legitimate question. One I don't want to rush past.

Saturday afternoon we skied. I was pretty impressed with my ability since it had been two years. I fell mostly when standing still or waiting in line. I'm not sure that many others can boast of that trait.

It was great to hang out with everyone - Bethany, Matt, Danielle, Kris, Jeremy, Kelly, Lesley, Jason, Robin.



It was great to hang out with everyone - Bethany, Matt, Danielle, Kris, Jeremy, Kelly, Lesley, Jason, Robin.

Thanks for making this weekend exactly what I needed - exactly that, a retreat.

Chris' Going Away Party

My friend Chris is moving to Sri Lanka for 3 years. I'm so excited for him but will miss him too. He gets to do some amazing work for the Tsunami victims. While he's there he'll coordinate the construction of 600 homes as well as teach those affected by the storm a new trade. How cool is that?

Good luck Chris! We'll all be praying for you. Here's a pic from the party. I took many more but none of them really turned out as well as this one.

Joy

"In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed." Exodus 15:13

Change

From Donald Miller's "Through Painted Deserts"

I could not have known that everybody, every person, has to leave, has to change like seasons; they have to or they die. The season remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way. All my life I have been changing. I changed from a baby to a child, from soft toys to play daggers. I changed into a teenager to drive a car, into a worker to spend some money. I will change into a husband to love a woman, into a father to love a child, change houses so we are near water, and again so we are near mountains, and again so we are near friends, keep changing with my wife, getting our love so it dies and gets born again and again, like a garden, fed by four seasons, a cycle of change. Everybody has to change, or they expire. Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons.

I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a Mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently.

I wondered when I read that page in his book if I was fertile soil for change; if I just simply talk about change and want it but am too afraid to make it happen; or if I'd change but the chance just wasn't offering itself. I was afraid of the former and mad at the latter.

This year seems to be birthing in Marty and I's life new things. Before we were ever married we laid our lives on the line and asked the Lord to do things with us that we could never imagine. Then we kept praying and begging and pleading. It seems that now the Lord is beginning to allow those prayers to come into reality. Just now I'm thankful for the fact that He is showing us how valuable we are to Him.

ROOTS '06

It's almost eery how well ROOTS went this year - especially in the Illuminate (Teen) Venue. We had about 35 teens at every meeting and the leadership team was incredible. TransMission led Praise and Worship and throughout the weekend the teens had different opportunities to give over parts of their lives to the Lord. One teen accepted Christ and has now given himself the name the New Found Sheep. We were able to welcome him to the family on Sunday morning with cheers and celebration. The greatness of it all was overwhelming. Watching teens choose to forgive - completely and truly some of the people who have hurt them so deeply is almost beyond comprehension. Watching them decide to live "ordinary" lives for Christ through their relationships, through their roles at school and work and home was inspiring. Even I have a hard time making the ordinary part of my life count and yet they were willing to give Him that part too!

Conferences like ROOTS, TYI, Youth Councils sometimes pump teens up for a weekend or a week only to send them home and back to the life they lived before. That's just it though isn't it? Shouldn't they live the life they were living before only as individuals who have been transformed by the Holy Spirit? Russ spoke of how when Jesus sent his disciples out into the world he sent them out as sheep among wolves. That's what our teens are - sheep among wolves. All I pray is that somehow, someway, we equipped them to live holy lives among those wolves.

Ah to be 28

Yesterday morning I woke up and all of a sudden I was 28. I was remembering on my way home from church my 18th birthday and couldn't believe it has been 10 years! I've been out of High School for 10 years, I've been an adult (whatever that is) for 10 years. This is strange.

I didn't even remember. Marty tapped me on the shoulder and told me "Happy Birthday" yesterday morning and I said, "Oh yeah, today is my birthday."

Marty is such an excellent husband and my family is just as fantastic and all of that is backed up by pretty great friends. Last night I had a surprise party! I knew we were going to dinner at Macaroni Grill but thought it was just my family. I get there and 21 of my friends and family were there to let me know how much they love me. I couldn't believe it! On top of that I couldn't believe that Marty was able to keep it a secret. He usually gives things away.

Sometimes in your life you are overwhelmed and don't have any words to say. That doesn't happen to me all that often but last night was one of those times. It was as if everything important in my life was sitting right in front of me - my mom, my dad, my brother and sister-in-law, Marty and all my friends who live nearby. I just can't get over it.

I'm wondering what this year will bring for me. Some changes are definitely on the horizon and I can't wait. I'm clinging to the fact that I am known by my Father and that He will lead both Marty and I there - wherever that is. I'm looking forward to this stage of life. It only seems to get better and better.

All of you who came last night - your presence in my life is so meaningful. Thank you for showing me how much you care. To those of you who wanted to be there but couldn't because of distance, please know that you were thought of and loved.

I HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD!!

Pictures to come.

Thank YOU!

I just wanted to say here thank you to all of you who prayed and are praying for my father. Thank you all for standing alongside me with your mouths wide open. Thank you for your wisdom and understanding.

He went back to the doctor today and had more tests done. He won't find out the results of those tests until tonight or tomorrow but I'm rejoicing early. The doctor told my dad that he would not have to go through radiation or chemotherapy! I don't know everything that means but I know it's good news and my insides are doing cartwheels!

I know that the Lord answered my prayer and the prayers of so many and I'm so thankful. I know that how he answers our prayers doesn't determine whether or not he's good. God just is good. Today and yesterday and the day before, when everything was so chaotic, the Lord showed me his goodness through friends and family who cared. He's a good God who blesses us with so much - most of all friends like you.

Thank you!

Cancer

Wednesday November 16.

That morning I was standing at Christine's desk recounting a dream I had the night before - my next door neighbors stalking me by driving around my house in their 1970-something Impala or other such car with their wedding clothes on and Paula looking a lot like Bette Midler as the police called me and asked their names - strange. I didn't get to finish telling Christine my dream because the phone rang.

"Joy Mikles"

"Hey sweetest girl in the whole wide world." (I know - it's really quite cheesy that my mom still calls me this even though I'm 27 but it's familiar)

"Hey my mama" (yes, that's always my response)

Then Dad says hi.

"Hi Daddy" A pause. "Oh no, you're both on the phone with me at the same time, what's wrong? What is it?" (This is the way they've always given us bad news - together - no matter what).

"Joy, I have cancer." My heart stopped beating for a second I think.

That's where it began. Dad proceeded to tell me that he had just found out that morning from the doctor. The doctor did say however that it was 90% curable because they caught it early.

Then mom asked through tears if I was okay. No, I'm not okay. My dad has cancer. I don't know what to do - so I sob. For the rest of the day as I tell people I just keep saying to everyone else that he'll be okay. This is more for me than for them. I can't stop saying it - like I'm trying to convince myself about the last part of the statement, the 90% part, more than the fact that he has to have surgery and they have to do it quick because...well, he has cancer.

On the outside over the next couple of weeks I'm fine. People ask. "I'm fine." What they didn't hear or see were my thoughts about what our family would become if he doesn't make it. It's so early I shouldn't even be there yet but I can't help it. Then, of course, I think about what my spiritual life would become if he wouldn't make it. Then I start bargaining and pleading and praying. For three weeks that's all I can do. Such basic prayers over and over again. I couldn't help it and yet I kept feeling the entire time like somehow my faith should be stronger - my trust in the Creator should be a little bit more solid. I couldn't get there though. My prayers simply just placed me clinging to Him - pleading for a cancer-free dad.

I was reading Psalm 81 that week and got to verse 10, "I am the Lord your God who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." What's that mean? Open wide your mouth and I will fill it? Not quite sure. Then I realized that the Lord was telling the Israelites that if they would trust him, He would meet their needs. He wasn't just saying open your mouth and I'll put food in it - that's essentially what He's promising but He says, "Open WIDE your mouth." "Don't just stand there timid and barely open it and hope that I throw you a crumb from the table. Stretch your jaws, as far as they'll go and I'll fill them." (my paraphrase) Later in the chapter, verse 16 to be exact, he says, "But you would be fed with the finest of wheat; with honey from the rock I would satisfy you."

He wanted me to trust him enough to throw my head back and open my mouth wide enough, trust Him so much, that I could ask him for exactly what I wanted - a dad without cancer. So I did. I pictured it over and over again. Me, head back, open mouth - hoping, waiting, wanting desperately - not just for wheat but the finest wheat and honey from a place where it couldn't come unless he provided it.

I was spiritually poor for three weeks. Still am I suppose. Dad went through surgery fine and came out looking beat up but okay. He said some pretty funny things while coming out of the anestisia - things that would embarrass him if I mentioned them here. However, I went home that night and sobbed like I had just found out the diagnosis. I guess I was just letting out the stress.

Anyway, he had his follow up appointment this past Wednesday. The doctor said it had spread just a little bit outside of the area but they took more than they needed so they probably got it all. I said, "probably?" Anyway, it comes down to the fact that we won't find out for sure until he has another test in January.

I don't really know where all of this puts me. I'm not quite sure my relationship with the Father has grown through this. All I know is that I'm still standing with my head thrown back, mouth open, trusting the Lord to meet my need - maybe.

Is my Dad's health a need? I'm not sure. I've asked myself that question over and over again. I feel like it is. It's the most desperate plea I've ever had in my life. Anyway, I just can't get past this part - the asking part. I'm not sure that's trust when you ask over and over again because maybe God didn't hear you the first time - or the fiftieth but I'm still asking.

Perhaps this is simply what holding your breath feels like.

With hope,
Joy

Making Moments

This week I've been focusing on Making Moments. The book I use for to guide my devotions asks this week that I prayer that the moments of my life may themselves become prayers. Whether they are in the joy of a birthday party, in the weariness that comes from labor, in the majesty of the setting sun or in the pain that comes with tears. Pray that each in its turn will cause you to lift your voice to him.

Each day we're also given a selection for meditation. Today's was a story. Most of the time they are just profound thoughts someone like A.W. Tozer once said. I love those but today I realized something. God put something in me when I was born that just relates to stories - whether true or fiction. So often I feel a little less intelligent than my friends who don't read fiction because they prefer the intellectual musings of some great mind. This morning I realized that so often I only get the point if it's made through story. So, this morning, I got the point of making moments through this story. If you don't like stories - stop reading. If you do, read on, it's about kites and meeting Jesus with today in your eyes.

Well, I'm disappointed. Who wouldn't be? With socks, a Sunday School shirt, some handkerchiefs, a hand-me-down sweater and a year's subscription to a religious magazine for children. The Little Shepherd. It makes me boil. It really does.

My friend has a better haul. A sack of Satsumas, that's her best present. She is proudest, however, of a white wool shawl knitted by her married sister. But she "says" her favorite gift is the kite I built her. And it "is" very beautiful; though not as beautiful as the one she made me, which is blue and scattered with gold and green Good Conduct stars; moreover, my name is painted on it, "Buddy."

"Buddy, the wind is blowing."

The wind is blowing, and nothing will do till we've run to a pasture below the house where Queenie has scooted to bury her bone (and where, a winter hence, Queenie will be buried, too). There, plunging through the healthy waist-high grass, we unreel our kites, feel them twitching at the string like sky fish as they swim into the wind. Satisfied, sun-warmed, we sparwl in the grass and peel Satsumas and watch our kites cavort. Soon I forget the socks and hand-me-down sweater. I'm as happy as if we'd already won the fifty-thousand-dollar Grand Prize in that coffee-naming contest.

"My, how foolish I am!" my friend cries, suddenly alert, like a woman remembering too late she has biscuits in the oven. "You know what I've always thought?" she asks in a tone of discovery, and not smiling at me but at a point beyond. "I've always thought a body would have to be sick and dying before they saw the Lord. And I imagined that when He came it would be like looking at the Baptist window: pretty as colored glass with the sun pouring through, such a shine you don't know it's getting dark. And it's been a comfort: to think of that shine taking away all the spooky feeling. But I'll wager it never happens. I'll wager at the very end a body realizes the Lord has already shown Himself. That things as they are" -her hand circles in a gesture that gathers clouds and kites and grass and Queenie pawing earth over her bone -"just what they've always been, was seeing Him. As for me, I could leave the world with today in my eyes."
~From A Christmas Memory by Truman Capote

That story taught me about what it means to make moments matter. I want to make moments that matter so much that I could leave today with them in my eyes.

Here's to kites and friends,
Joy

The Battle Begins

Here's where it begins - information. I receive emails almost daily from Lisa Thompson who works for The Salvation Army's Initiative Against Sexual Trafficking. Daily I'm disgusted at humanity and the idea that we will tout human beings as something to be bought and sold and that we will continue to glance over the problem as if it doesn't affect us. The truth is sexual immorality walks into our homes and lives daily and we don't even recognize it. So, now it's our chance to fight back. It might only be a small way to take a stand but it's a stand nonetheless. I'm posting below an article sent to me by Lisa from The Observer about a tourist company marketing tours through the Red Light District for FAMILIES!! Children under three get to go for free. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm also posting the address underneath the article where you can write the company to tell them of your outrage. It's not enough to get angry sometimes our righteous indignation calls for action.

For justice,
Joy

***************************
Red light tour condemned as 'sick'

Gemma Bowes
Sunday November 13, 2005
The Observer

Thomas Cook, Britain's longest running tour operator, is launching family tours to see prostitutes touting for trade in Amsterdam's red light district. The night-time excursions, which include a briefing about the 'system' from a former prostitute, are open to children of any age, and the company boasts 'under threes go free'.

Last week parents and charities working to protect women in the sex industry reacted with shock and disbelief when alerted to the tours by Escape.

'It is sick to propose a "prostitution tour" not only for adults, but even more so for children,' said Esohe Aghatise, the European representative of the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women (CATW), which campaigns against sexual exploitation of women.

A press release issued by Thomas Cook to announce the new 'Walking Tour Dark Amsterdam' describes how the two-hour tour, leaving at 8pm, will take visitors 'deep into the famous red light district, accompanied by a reliable and trustworthy guide, offering a fascinating insight into the oldest profession in the world!'

The brochure details what is included in the experience: 'Begin with a drink at a prostitute information centre where a former prostitute will explain the system and answer any questions you may have. Then head for the Wallen (red light district) and see for yourself.'

Adult tickets for the tour cost £12, though parents may be relieved to know children's tickets only cost £6. When asked what age range the child ticket covered, a spokeswoman said the prices apply to those from four to 12, and under threes go free.

CATW argues that taking children to see prostitutes is 'highly irresponsible' and risks traumatising them. The organisation estimates that 50-85 per cent of women in prostitution experience violence and debilitating injuries, and that more than 80 of those working in the Netherlands are of foreign origin, with most of them likely to have arrived there as victims of sex trafficking.

Dr Janice Raymond, co-director of CATW, said: 'Thomas Cook Tours treats prostitution as harmless fun. Women are sold as commodities in the Dutch sex industry, and Thomas Cook charges tourists to view the marketable products and chuckle at the human merchandise.'

Thomas Cook said it has introduced the tour in its 2006 Thomas Cook Signature Cities and Short Breaks brochure in response to feedback from clients.

'We have added this excursion to our programme so that our clients who do not feel comfortable or safe walking through the red-light district on their own can do so with an experienced guide, not only to escort them but to share his/her knowledge of this city's colourful past and present,' said a spokeswoman.

Thomas Cook needs to hear from you. Click the topic drop down box and select feedback. http://thomascooknew.custhelp.com/cgi-bin/thomascooknew.cfg/php/enduser/std_adp.php?p_faqid=99

On to more important things...

I couldn't sleep tonight. It's 12:30 a.m. and not a wink in sight. I tried but my sheep must've been off for the holiday. I kept dwelling on a comment anonymous left. Anonymouse - just so you know, you also made it to my friend Phil's blog at www.phillaeger.com. However, I think we've talked enough about the brand. I've come to realize that it can't do much. What I have realized is that I can and I've reposted anonymous' comment here because he or she's comment is the point - isn't it? I've shortened it because there were two questions in the comment but I want to focus on the first and here it is:

"I guess a much bigger question I would be asking doesn't have to do with the branding (although I think it's an aweful slogan) and that is, "Why is it the only people describing the Salvation Army as a soul winning community are the individuals within the movement and only in coversations with each other. The coversation never goes outside into the market place so to speak. The Army does a great job using a religious language when it is talking to itself and never when it engages the world. That to me should be the bigger question."

So, really my post is a question to the wide world if anyone is willing to respond: how do we engage the culture in conversation - a conversation that matters? What does it sound like? What does it look like? I don't think I'm talking about one of those hey I just met someone on a plane and they asked me what I do or where I go to church questions. That's perhaps an easy question but not really one that engages. I'm talking about what does the conversation look like in lifestyle, in habit? Perhaps that's where we should start. I don't think the branding will change many things but I know I can. I'm a foot soldier after all and that's where all wars are won - on the front lines.

I'm just wondering if we can begin a conversation here - where it counts.

Thanks,
Joy

I've been Branded

I know that I'm perhaps a day late and a dollar short posting about the "Doing the Most Good" branding almost two weeks (maybe more) after Cory did but I just went through the branding process and have a few thoughts to share.

All of the branding didn't really bother me before I went to the Branding meeting. I had people explain it to me as a promise to the public which I still believe it is. People kept telling me that they thought it was boastful - I'm not sure I ever thought it really was. I just kept my mouth shut about all of it - one way or another (except for questions here and there) until I had been through the meeting and heard what they had to say.

Now, I'm angry. Perhaps a little more than I need to be but I'm still quite ticked. I almost made it all the way through that stinking meeting without any objections and then they showed a video of Stan Richards who is obviously the founder of the group who came up with the branding. He began talking about getting a vision for people in the organization to live by - okay, I can do that. I can always ask myself if I'm doing the most good. Not a problem. Then he said that the next thing they do in order to come up with the brand is categorize in one word the organization or company which they are branding. For The Salvation Army the word they chose to describe us was CHARITY. I was angry - still am. We are a charitable organization but only because of the message we preach about the Good News of the gospel. It seems like every time I turn around we, The Salvation Army, are choosing not to let people know about who we serve when we have the opportunity. Why couldn't the stupid brand be about more than doing the most good with people's time, resources and contributions and be about doing the most good to win the world for Christ! That's why we do what we do and for the life of me I can't get past the thought that this isn't going to help. I will always have to tell my friends that we're not just a red kettle and a Thrift Store which this branding is supposed to help alleviate. I didn't see how but perhaps I will over time. Why is it that we chose to spend 12.7 million dollars on advertising last year and will continue to do so in the future and never EVER mention why we're the SALVATION army or spend a dollar trying to get that word out? Kelly asked the question that I'm asking. Not about funds but about how this will help people know we're a church and the answer that was returned was that it's up to us! Right, so, I get the responsibility to tell my sphere of friends, neighbors, whoever that we're a church ALL BY MYSELF? I love doing that - don't have a problem with it. In fact I feel it's my duty. Yet, the entire country gets a chance to hear about the other things we do and not why we do them through the media. That seems equal.

Perhaps we're putting the emPHAsis on the wrong syLAbell - concentrating our energy, our money, our time on the wrong part of the mission - the services, instead of why we offer the services in the first place.

Just my thoughts. Could go on and on but I think I'm beginning to beat a dead horse.

Are we doing the most good?
Joy

Non-profit Brothel

I know everyone else will post this but I can't leave it off. I'm disgusted at humanity right now and our intent on continuing the slave-trade and the desire to demoralize humans as product. We will use any excuse to make prostitution legal. We will come up with any way possible to continue to subject women, men, boys and girls to its harm and call it good.

Here's an article from the Vancouver Sun on the legalization of prostitution and the ability to make a brothel non-profit. Like that could ever happen!

Vancouver councillor calls for city to open a non-profit brothel
November 10, 2005
Vancouver Sun

VANCOUVER (CP) -- A Vancouver councillor is calling for the establishment of a non-profit brothel, owned by the city, to help drug-addicted prostitutes.
Tim Louis told The Vancouver Sun's editorial board that he favours a red light district to help protect calls "survival" sex trade workers.

Louis, of the left-wing Committee of Progressive Electors (COPE), said there would be many benefits of a brothel being run on a break-even basis, with the availability of medical services and drug treatment.

Another COPE councillor, David Cadman, said he would want to study the idea of setting up a city-run brothel and get a lot of public dialogue.

Sam Sullivan, the mayoral candidate for the centre-right Non-Partisan Association, said he was appalled by Louis's comments.

He said the "the goal should be to help these women get out of the survival sex trade, not keep them in it."

Sullivan said he doesn't want to "get into the business of being a pimp."

But Vancouver East MP Libby Davies, who is vice-chairman of a parliamentary committee examining the need for legislative reform on prostitution, said she's not surprised by the suggestion.

Davies said the committee wants law reform that focuses on the issues of exploitation and harm.

The committee, which held cross-Canada hearings and interviewed sex trade workers and municipalities, will issue its recommendations within weeks.

(Vancouver Sun)

Your Money Counts

This past weekend I was able to spend Saturday helping Kelly refloor her kitchen. I love the renovation scene. We didn't get any of the new tile laid but the demolition took it's toll on my body. Yesterday I spent the afternoon in bed. This afternoon I'm going back. I have to see it through. Besides, although it's painful, it's fun too. It's also cool to spend time like this with my friends.

This morning Marty and I finished our Crown Financial Class. For 10 weeks we've been waking up at 5 a.m. to be at work by 7 to attend this class. That's probably one of the most disciplined things I've ever done but the rewards are well worth it. We've learned much over the course of the class about budgeting, paying off debt and setting short and long term financial goals. We've started seriously depending on the Lord to take care of our finances because we were failing miserably when we did it in our own strength. We now take care of these things together instead of separately and we consult each other about purchases. We're seeking to learn to be content in our situation and I believe we'll get there as long as we keep trusting the Father. I'm not saying that we've got it all under control but I know we've come a long way in the process and we still have a long way to go but it just doesn't feel like a burden anymore. While it doesn't sound like fun, I would recommend the Crown Financial Class to anyone - married, single, old, young. It's well worth 10 weeks of your life. I would even recommend it if you feel like you've already got your financial house in order. The reminders are always helpful.

I know that's kind of a boring post for the day but I just wanted everyone to know what the Lord's been teaching Marty and I lately. He's seriously taken care of a HUGE concern for us and I'm incredibly thankful. If you struggle in this area, this class is definitely worth the time and the effort.

Here's to getting out of debt,
Joy

Small Group

Last night was small group. Four women get together at Maggie's house and we're working through the book The Sacred Romance. Last night's discussion was about "The Message of the Arrows." Basically we talked about the things from the past that have struck our hearts and caused pain and along with it sent a message to us that is untrue - i.e. I'm not good enough, I'm a failure, etc. It was a good night. While we all shared really deep things from our past and the atmosphere was heavy at times, I left last night knowing that I had been in the presence of three beautiful women and in the presence of God. I knew that He was blessed at the fact that we were sharing our hearts with one another and our lives. I continue to come back to the fact that He is a God of relationship and He desires for us to be in community with one another. What I'm blessed by is that He saw my needs before I knew them and decided to place me in this group.

I'm also blessed that others have decided to choose this path too. I want to say thank you to Kelly for making this happen and to everyone else for enriching my life every week.

I love you guys,
Joy

Microwave Recipes!

I just found recipes for fudge that you can make in the microwave! Guess what everyone's getting a tin full of this year.
He he! Hopefully it'll be delicious.

I found them at and

Just something for kicks! Have a great day!

Pictures from the Trip

I didn't have enough pictures to show you the finished product here but I can in the next couple of days. This is the picture of the pit we cleaned out and sealed. It was one of the main drains for the corps but the Lieutenents' sons also lived in a room that shared a wall with this pit. Unfortunately the mold which was growing on the outside of the pit had crept into their room. So, we cleaned the walls to their room and the pit and then sealed the pit. I hope it holds off the mold for a while.



We were also able to waterproof their roof. It didn't look so bad from the outside but the huge waterspot on the inside said differently. It rained every day before we arrived and we were afraid we might not get a change to get this project done but we didn't see a drop the entire time we were there.


I don't know if you can tell from this picture or not but the chapel we started with was not the chapel we ended with. In the beginning the floor was loosely covered with three pieces of carpet that had the seams showing - so we took them up and laid cement and waterproofed the floor. Then we added carpet.


I believe this last picture is of Joe hard at work. He gets paid the big bucks you know!


This is just a picture of the last day of laying cement. Thank goodness I only had to do this for one day. I had some serious nose problems after I breathed in all of that cement dust.

Changing Leaves

I went out tonight to get some things from the store and for the first time this season the air outside actually felt and smelled like Fall. The smell and the feeling aren't really something describable but everytime they happen a wave of nostalgia washes over me. This is my favorite time of year.

As I drove I remembered living not too far from here on Mapleton Drive. I remembered raking leaves into piles in the neighbors yard only to have them wonder if my mom and dad put me up to it. I remember how one particular Fall all ChristyAnn and I would do was jump on her trampoline and make up dance routines to M.C. Hammer's "Can't Touch This." That all changed the next year because she had gone to summer camp and gotten rid of all of her "non-Christian" music. Even then I wasn't that big a fan of burning music. I remembered how every school year I would come home after the second or third day and crawl up in my mother's lap and cry and cry because I couldn't do the work. It was all too hard.

In High School Fall meant football games and eating at Denny's afterward. It meant trips to the beach on the weekends and Marching Competitions at Disney World. It meant Homecome (whether it was a dance or not) and lots of pictures.

Fall always meant new. It meant I was beginning again - new friends sometimes, always new challenges (some I thought I couldn't handle), new romances every once in a blue moon, new chances to grow.

What I don't remember was worry. I don't remember ever worrying while I was jumping on ChristyAnn's trampoline - unless there was homework to be done. I could face the next day with certainty because my entire future didn't hang on it - just a grade or two. I could trust that everything was going to be alright.

Today, as I reminisced I realized why I loved Fall and why so often there is also a little bit of sadness in the air. Fall used to mean change - change that always produced growth. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really growing and how to mark it. I used to have a marker (Washables if you must know). Fall also reminds me of a time when I used to have childlike faith. I believe that's what the Lord is teaching me right now as He leads me into something new - childlike faith. It's a simple trusting with wide, sparkly eyes and laughter. It's a faith that doesn't hold on to the edges or strain to see what's around the corner but basks in the moment.

Those are the two things I want this fall - growth and childlike faith.

Happy Oranges and Yellows,
Joy

I Heart Mexico City

I returned home yesterday from Mexico City with one pair of clean underwear, an entire suitcase of stinky clothes (no comments please team), a few souvenirs and an overwhelming knowledge that I had been and still am in the presence of God.

Before leaving and even during the first part of the week that we were there I wasn't expecting much from the Lord. I was just glad to be out of the country and a part of another mission trip. I really looked forward to it but I really thought it would be just another mission trip.

Throughout the course of the week what I learned was that God answers prayer that I don't remember uttering; he allows us to be a part of experiences that will forever teach us; he brings us into contact with other believers to strengthen His body of believers; he puts in frong of us impossible situations because He wants us to understand who completes the work.

The beginning part of the week was normal. We went to church on Sunday and began our construction on Monday - removing old flooring, laying cement, waterproofing the roof, cleaning away some mold and mildew in a room and a pit that backed up to the room, sealing the room, laying carpet. All these things we worked on all week long. None of us could have ever imagined that we would get them finished, not to mention the fact that eight out of the eleven of us got sick during the last part of the week. He truly completed all of these tasks.

Here's where it gets cool though. Wednesday and Thursday we were able to partner with a group in Mexico City called Casa Alianza (Covenant House). This organization works with street children. They go to them, play games with them, teach them about the dangers of drugs, sex trafficking, rape, living on the streets and then offer them a better choice - the choice to come and live at Casa Alianza. The deal is however, that in order to live at Casa Alianza, the kids have to be willing to leave behind their drugs. On Thursday I went to Casa Alianza. Because everything up to this point in the trip had been routine for me, I was really hoping that the Lord would challenge me this day - speak to me, change me, something. I had placed all my eggs in one basket for the Lord to do his part. So, we get to Casa Alianza and Emanuel and I are teamed up with Fransisco and Erika. We leave Casa Alianza to go talk to Juan about coming back to the crisis center with us. We find him curled up under newspaper right outside of a metro station asleep and can't convince him. Fransisco and Erika promise to come back on Saturday. The next stop is supposed to be at a hospital where a young boy had been admitted because he had swallowed the inhalent that most of the children who live on the street use. On the way there however, we found two boys sleeping at a metro station so we stopped and played uno with them for a while. Then Fransisco and Erika convinced them to come back to Casa Alianza with us for a shower and a change of clothes. Fransisco headed on to the hospital to visit the boy who swallowed the inhalent. When we got to the crisis center we simply played more games with Julian and Gabriel (the two boys) and then Erika walked them through some of the dangers of living on the street. They had just run away from home the day before and when asked said that no one would miss them. I was really hoping that they would choose to stay at the home but they just wanted the clothes and food and to return to the metro station. After that, Emanuel and I didn't leave the home. It was 12 and we weren't supposed to return to the children's home where we were staying all week until 5:00 and we were through for the day. When the other team returned I was so disappointed. They hadn't stopped all day. They had encounter after encounter with children who were huffing while talking to them, children who wouldn't give up their drugs, they played soccer with some. They just didn't quit until they came back to Casa Alianza. I was upset that I hadn't had a better day - that was supposed to be my challenge. That was the day I told the Lord to speak to me! When we returned to the Chidlren's Home I journaled some. I asked the Lord, no, I told the Lord that if that wasn't going to be the day that He needed to speak to me another day. Then, however, he removed a veil from my eyes and began to teach me things I hadn't thought of until then. He showed me that I continually ask for more while I'm in the States and when He gives me that gift - it isn't good enough. I need to be thankful for what He gives. He revealed to me that ministering to street children wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. Playing games with them was easy and I could do it! That wasn't something I expected. He showed me the fluidity those who work at Casa Alianza have. They had an appointment with someone else when they stopped to play Uno with those two young boys. If it had been me, I might would have kept going hoping they would be there on the way back. They understood the importance of every single child and they trusted that every single one would get visited that day. Then, the most important lesson I learned from those that work at Casa Alianza that day was persistance in the face of addiction. I learned what it looks like to keep hoping even when it seems like there is no hope. I saw what it must look like for the father to continually come after us. The folks at Casa Alianza offer so much more to these children than what they have - clean clothes, shelter, food, rehabilitation, and most importantly a future. Most of the time these children reject their offers because they want to remain where they are, where it is comfortable. It was an incredible picture to me that day of the God who pursues us.

Friday we finished the floors in the church and on Saturday we got to go to the Pyramids that the Aztecs built. Only two civilizations in the world built pyramids - the Egyptians and the Aztecs and I got to climb one of them. What a cool day - despite a sunburn on the back of my legs.

Then Sunday came. Gamaliel spoke that morning on Isaiah 6:1 - 8. What's funny is that I was content. I had learned my lesson (or so I thought) and had forgotten (almost) that I told the Lord to speak to me since he hadn't on the day I went to Casa Alianza (even though he obviously did). What's cool is that the Lord didn't forget my prayer and was faithful even though I didn't need him to speak or at least I didn't think I needed him to. Anyway, Gammy spoke and he talked about the Lord asking all of us the question "Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?" He talked about how the day he went with Casa Alianza he forgot that those children were dirty and stunk but remembered that the Lord loved them. He talked about the hard places that the Lord calls us to. I remembered then how I heard a sermon once about the verses after verse 8 where God tells Isaiah what He wants him to do. He tells him he will preach and preach and their hearts will get fat and that He will weed them away until only a stump is left. I just kept thinking about how it's not always easy what God calls us to do. Then I realized what I had been doing. I had been taking away what I promised the Lord. A long time ago I said to the Lord what Isaiah said, "Here am I. Send me!" When I was young he called me to be a missionary and since then he has been confirming it. The hard part however, is that Marty and I's callings don't line up and we have a hard time trying to figure out how it will work. So, Sunday morning I realized that what I had been doing was conditioning my response to God. I was telling him that perhaps short-term missions is what He's called me to do. I was telling him that perhaps since the challenge is harder at home that perhaps incarnational ministry is what He's called me to do. Sunday mornig he struck my heart. He told me that I couldn't do that anymore. I had given him all of myself a long time ago and I couldn't take it back. He wasn't taking His calling back - I couldn't take myself back. I was trying to figure it out on my own. He convicted me of that too. It's about trust and faith and allowing him to work it out.

All week long I kept remembering the verse, "Now unto him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine." (Ephesians 3:20) We never could've asked for or imagined the things that we accompished at the beginning of the week. We never could've even imagined a team like ours fitting together like it did. We never could've asked for anything that the Lord freely gave to us. When I got home I realized that's what the Lord wants me to claim for my life. I can't ask for or imagine big enough the things that He's going to give me. I can ask for the small - which is what I'm doing now and it seems huge but I know He'll give me more than that. I can't wait! I just have to hold on for the ride.

Bring it on Lord! Bring it on!

Isolation vs. Community

At the Catalyst Conference we watched a video about a group of families who share a house. Each family has a floor, they share a common eating space and they always share meals. These families, mind you, are not just married couples. They are married with children. They help raise each other's children and walk through life together. Sounds ideal, right?

On closer inspection, I thought, how would I feel about one of my friends disciplining my child? In essence, that's what they're allowing each other to do. How would I feel about always having someone else in my house - sharing meals, sharing living space? Who would do the dishes? Would there be rules and if so, someone, if not, everyone would break them. How often would there be fights? How often would I actually get along with my friends once I started to live with them?

One of the speakers at Catalyst (I think it was Bill Hybels but I can't be sure) said, "Young adults speak so openly about community and how you long for it but I rarely see you live it - take part in it." Ouch.

I want it. I talk about it. I desire it. But I live in isolation. I don't know my neighbors and I know that if I lived with any of my friends there would come a time when we would come close to losing our frienship.

Then I think, isn't that why we should choose community though? I can like you as long as your nice to me and as long as I show you everything that's great about me. Can I love you through your sin? Can I love you through your faults?

Marriage is a form of community - I can't choose to walk away from Marty. We're in this forever. But my friends? My neighbors? If you get on my nerves I can just walk away from you until it blows over. That's just not true friendship really. That's not true relationship. That's not true community.

It wouldn't be pretty, true community. However, I honestly believe that if the world could see a picture of community among Christians they would be drawn to Christ. They would see a love that passes from the superficial into what matters - the bone and the marrow.

I guess these are just the beginning thoughts and I haven't really come to any conclusion. I know I'm not ready to move into a house with another set of married friends. I know community looks different in different settings but what I'm tired of is talking about it and continuing to live in isolation.

Where does the rubber meet the road? Where do we begin?