A family Affair

This past Saturday was our first baby shower! Mom, Danielle, Kelly and I left Tucker early that morning (I didn't think 7 a.m. occurred twice on Saturdays but evidently it does - as does 6 a.m., the time when we woke up to be ready to leave at 7). By the way, I am also aware of the fact that once Justice arrives, I'll probably never sleep past 7 a.m. again. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

So, we got to Gastonia around 10:30. Most of the people who came were all family - even family members I didn't know showed up! Go figure! They even brought the best presents. One is pictured below - the blue and green quilt - love it! That's from my dad's cousin Judy who I had never met until last year when she and her two sisters came to Danielle's shower.

Poor Heather was the only non-family member there. She was a super sport about the whole thing and really got into it all - even though she doesn't do the girly things in life. She did mention however that my accent was much worse this past weekend than it was when I visited her and Rob a few weeks earlier. Warning - that's what family does to you.

That afternoon we had yet another shower for my prego cousin Kelly. She was so surprised and it was nice to be on the other end of a shower - taking pics, writing down gift items.

Sunday, got to hang out with Kelly (not the cousin but the friend), Lesley and Laura. We enjoyed brunch at Murphy's and then painted pottery to celebrate Laura's birthday. I'm excited to get our pieces back because everyone was so creative. Perhaps I'll get to publish pics of the finished products. Anyway, it was a great day to talk and listen, spend time with the girls, and hope for more opportunities like that.

Just in case anyone else is counting - we now have 5 weeks and 5 days left until the due date. Everytime I think about that I feel like someone just knocked the wind out of me. Is that a bad thing? Oh well.


My lovely aunts (who threw the shower), my mother and I behind the diaper cake. By the way, my mom saw what I was packing to wear that day to the shower and totally ambushed me.


Cousin Judy and I holding the lovely blanket she made for Justice.

The reversible blanket my Granny made for us. I love that Granny!

The Thrill of it All

Two days ago Marty looks at me and says, "We've only got seven weeks to go until your due date!" He's smiling. I, on the other hand, almost begin to hyperventilate. "Nu uh," I say," we have eight weeks left. Then, he proves it to me on a calendar.

How did that happen? How did we get to seven weeks and I thought we were at eight? I'm not sure but eight I could handle. That was 2 months. I still had 2 months. Seven weeks is less than two months - it's one month and three weeks or, to be exact, 53 days from today!

Excitement has started to set in. The things I had been postponing until, you know, right before the baby comes I should be doing. Freezing meals, seriously cleaning the house, washing baby clothes. I don't know. What else do you do right before a baby comes? Oh yeah, hang doors, paint walls and listen to your husband smack his thumb with a hammer. (Just kidding - he's pretty good with tools.)

The past couple of months have been crazy. Got to paint pottery with best friend Laly. Below are some pictures. Bought a new car - Nissan Pathfinder to be exact. Marty's like a kid in a candy store. Went to breastfeeding school. Who knew you had to be taught how to feed your kid?

Now I'm looking forward to the showers my lovely family and friends are throwing all over the place. I get to go paint pottery this Sunday with Laura and Kelly to celebrate Laura's birthday. I think I'm addicted. So, that's life in a nutshell. I'm just seriously hoping now that all the stuff for work gets done before baby comes.

Here's to the next 53 days!
Joy

1:19 AM - Smoke Detector's battery dies causing short horrendously ear splitting noise to go off once every 1 to 2 minutes.

1:20 AM - Marty tries replacing battery

1:30 AM - Smoke Detector is now wrapped in a towel and safely placed in the garage (far away from human ears)


Added to the TO DO LIST:

Purchase Smoke Detector


Hope your evening is much more restful!

The Beginning of Week 31

I have 9 weeks left until Justice comes. Surprisingly enough (i guess) I'm not ready for this to be over. I'm not ready to "get this over with" nor do I want him to come early. Janell said last week, "Mark my words, he'll be here in six weeks." Wha huh? No please. I haven't said this to most people but I'm going to confess. I don't want him to come early because if he does then I'll have to return to work before I get to go on vacation with my family. So, I have about a 2 week span where he could come early. Anymore than that and I'm back at work while everyone else gets tans. Not that I tan really but I would like to feel the sand beneath my feet.

Laly came to visit this weekend. She's the greatest. We went and painted pottery and spent ALL of the day there. Who knew it took so long to make a teapot pretty? That whole three coats of paint rule can be a bit much. We ate at Everybody's Pizza. If you haven't been - you should go. Love it!

More than that, I just love spending time with my best friend. It's about quality time and conversation when we're together. We talk about everything - our relationships, people we care about, work, our hopes, our dreams. It's not all serious but it's so refreshing to just spend time with someone that you know genuinely cares and wants to know what's going on and that you trust with anything. Wish we still lived in the same city. Maybe someday.

Valentine's Day was nice. We didn't celebrate until the Friday afterwards though. Actually, Marty found his present a day early. It was my fault. I asked him to empty the closet where it was stashed so that the carpet people could get to the floor in there. There it was. Doh! I even missed seeing his reaction but he assures me he likes it. I got roses in three colors this year - white for "I can't remember," Marty said, yellow because we're friends and red because he loves me. He's sweet but also a little sappy at times. He took me to California Dreamin' and I had lovely fried shrimp - yummmmmm. (This post is starting to sound like I'm hungry, I'm not, I promise). He also gave me a FANTASTIC GC to Spa Sydell for a prenatal massage but that was a belated birthday gift. Hey, if I have to wait a month every year for a gift that good, I don't mind one bit.

We're heading to Charlotte this weekend for some relaxation with Rob and Heather. We'll get to spend some time with the War College students which should be exciting. I always love receiving the wisdom Rob and Heather have to share.

Next week I'm off to New Orleans to do a set up trip for the Salvationist Service Corps teams that will be spending their summer in Gulfport or NOLA. Should be interesting.

Maybe I am a little hungry or perhaps I simply daydream about food all the time. Does anyone else do that? Maybe it's the whole being pregnant thing. I'm not amazed anymore when people tell me how much weight they gained while they were pregnant. It's hard work NOT gaining all that weight.

I'll quit rambling now.
Have a lovely weekend.

So this is what they call nesting

I had read about nesting. I heard stories from other women who went through it during their last trimester. I just always wondered what it would look like and whether or not it would happen to me. Honestly, I always secretly hoped it would. It just seemed like some sort of instinctual desire that would take over and help me work through the lack of energy to make sure things got done. Turns out, I was right! It was almost as if the desire kicked in just as Marty's plane left for Argentina. His absence I would not allow to keep me from moving forward. In fact, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to get more done!

So, in the past 2 weeks, we've gotten an over the range microwave installed, one light fixture installed (soon to be two), two bedrooms painted (one is Justice's), a hallway painted and tonight - the family room! Tomorrow, carpet will be installed. Thursday the other light gets installed and this weekend - perhaps we'll see a complete house (perhaps). I can't leave Marty out of this list however. Yesterday, he came home from Argentina and after a short nap, he was up and finished the laminate floor in the kitchen!!!

So, it turns out I was worried about not being ready for nothing. Justice will have a place to lay his head when we bring him home from the hospital (as long as Marty can figure out how to put the crib together) and Marty and I will even have a more beautiful house out of the deal too!

Seriously, it almost feels like a completely new house. There's still a long list of stuff that has to be done - doors hung, hardward installed, trim painted and hung, blah blah blah. But! But, there's this sense of accomplishment that comes with it all that makes the pain and the sleepiness worth it.

Life is slowly returning to normal. We actually eat meals at home now, that I cook. Nevermind that they may or may not have come out of a box. If I have to add heat, I cooked it.

So, nesting, as it turns out, is a real thing - not just a myth. And it didn't pass me by! Hallelujah!

Now, If I could just get Marty to realize how much more superior Starbucks is to Dunkin Donuts, I could at least get a morning caffeine fix instead of just chocolate milk.

What the....it's already week 27?

People keep asking me when I'm due. I think I might answer that one question on average about 3 times a day. I don't mind (April 22, by the way)I think the part that scares me is the response that usually follows. "It's coming!" or "It'll be here before you know it!" Perhaps to some women that's reassurance - "Thank goodness it's almost over," "it can't come fast enough," "i'm ready." However, for me, that response scares me to death.

Please know, I'm really starting to enjoy being pregnant. I don't mind people touching my belly anymore not since I started to feel him move around anyway. I don't mind people asking how I'm feeling. But perhaps that's the problem too. I'm just now starting to get the hang of it and I'm over the half way mark! Marty looked at me last night and said, "Just 13 more weeks!" I think I might have gone into shock.

When people respond, "Not long now," all I can think of is the mess that still clutters my home under the guises of kitchen remodeling and the mess my husband calls his office which is actually where he keeps his clothes piled on a chair and a lot of musical instruments. All of this stands in the way of a room becoming a nursery and me feeling a little bit more secure about a baby coming home with us one day. All of that haunts me when someone says, "not long now!" "I'll never be ready," is my immediate thought. I suppose that's why people look at me with such confusion after they give a remark that probably brings relief to women and my face simply scrunches up and I give a pathetic, "yeah."

So, basically, I just wanted to let the world know, via this source, that I really am excited. If it doesn't look like it when you're trying to be assuring please forgive me. The fear just seems to take over at the most inopportune times. I'll try better from now on I promise. We're getting there as far as being prepared but in the meantime, please accept my apologies.

Thank you most sincerely,
Joy

The Orange Peel!

Last night Marty and I went out with a bunch of friends to celebrate my birthday. It was a little late but I didn't mind. I got great sushi out of the deal. Near the end of the meal, Bernie tells the server that it is my birthday. To my horror, the next thing you hear is a really loud man over a microphone yelling, "Happy Birthday" along with all of the wait staff and even the kitchen staff. They sang to me in English and what I can only presume to be Japanese.

At the end of the singing - I was at this point ready to kill Bernie - our server says to me, "Our chef here at Ru Sans got something extra special for you for your birthday." He then lays a plate on the table in front of me with an orange on it. "Oh, uh, thanks?" I respond. "No, open it," he says. It's got a few cuts in it. So I begin to peel away afraid something might jump out at me or squirt me. Well, when I finally got the orange peeled, I really did have an extra special gift from the chef - a man made out of an orange peel. He was quite equipped - if you know what I mean.

Just in case you don't, here's a pic to let you know.

That made every embarrassing moment worth it.

Here's hoping your birthday is just as hilarious!

So, it turns out the Chinese Lunar Calendar was right. Marty and I are going to have a boy!

I didn't really think that could happen. Seriously. I mean I knew that it could happen but I didn't really think that could happen to me. Don't get me wrong - I'm excited we're going to have a boy but it does scare me a little. I don't understand boys. Now there's one floating around in me.

There are boy parts floating around in me! Gross!

So, that's freaking me out a little bit. I really am excited though. This is the first time all of this has seemed real. We saw little arms and little legs, a head, a spine, a belly. He was moving around like crazy! It was great.

In 20 weeks we'll be bringing a bouncing baby boy into the world! Get ready!

Sweet Dreams Are Made of These...

I'm not sure they've been so sweet lately but dreams I have had.
Here are the ones I can remember, in no particular order.

About a month ago I had a dream that a charter bus pulled up to wherever Marty and I were standing and delivered a kid to us for adoption. I was cool with that. Next thing I know, it wasn't just one kid but three. I hadn't even had my own yet. I remember looking at my mom in the dream and saying, "Four! I can't have four! Not all at once!"

A couple of nights ago I dreamed that I was in the hospital in a large room where they keep a lot of patients (perhaps four or five). I was hooked up to an IV when I noticed that my friend was in a bed across the room from me. We decided to take a walk around the hospital. I noticed that in a few places on her face, her skin was sort of not right. Kind of a different color and hanging off. It was weird but I never asked her what happened. Both of us leave the hospital, we are still in our gowns but we get in a car. Then I notice that her face has healed. Her skin, where it healed is a totally different color than the rest of her face. It was along her jawline and it looked like she had a prosthetic jaw put in. THEN I realized she was holding the old part of her face that had evidently been mauled by a bear! I asked her why her skin on her jaw was a different color. She said it was because they grafted it from her butt!

Last night I had two!

The first: My mom, Lorelie and I were shopping in a pretty cool shopping area. We stopped into a store to get some hot tea and cookies. Well, mom and Lorelie got theirs but when it was time for me to get mine, they were ready to go and unwilling to wait on me. So, I told the saleslady and she said, "oh, don't worry. I'll come with you." So, we travel down the hallway of the shopping center a ways and I sample a Lime cookie with chocolate chips in it. I order that and a cup of pink grapefruit hot tea (strange what you remember in dreams). I go to take the cookie I have already sampled and liked and the girl stops me. I can't have that cookie because it is now a sample. She cuts off the part that I ate and puts it in a baggie. Then she puts a tag, one that you would find on a new pair of pants, through the cookie. She hands me a fresh cookie and my cup of hot tea and we are on our way.

The second: A group of us are headed to a conference or something. We have to perform there. It's almost like I'm a leader in a choir or something and I also have speaking lines. Well, someone says something funny during the meeting and I make a funny laugh and some noise and get in trouble from another leader. Whatever. Then we head to our rooms. Mine is already trashed before I can blink. Littered with my clothes. I notice then that there is a massive costume party happening at the pool. Where a pool came from, I'm not sure. So, a friend knocks on my door and asks if I'm ready to go. Give me a minute. I frantically start looking for my costume. I find a hula skirt and begin to try and tie it around my belly (it, of course, doesn't fit). I'm also carrying around a stuffed crocodile at this point. I've eaten off one of his arms. It was quite tasty. Anyway, I'm looking for my costume (brown swimsuit and hula skirt, I guess) when I notice that on the bed my mother has laid out a crocodile costume for me! Why a crocodile? When did my mom show up? Oh well! I put it on and it wasn't tight across my belly. It was quite comfortable. Thanks mom!

People tell me that all dreams means something - the people in the dream, the items. I'm not sure I think every dream means something but I can almost guess the last two dreams meant I was hungry.

Sweet dreams!

Random Thoughts

1. I love those parking spaces that are labeled "For New and Expectant Mothers." I take advantage of them every chance I get. I am also considering writing a letter to establishments that do not have any.
2. A guy at church the other day said I was glowing. I really think it's the new Mineral Essence Powder I'm using!
3. I wonder if I'm behind on the whole planning process for baby. People keep asking me if we've picked a nursery theme or colors. Nope. They look so disappointed when I tell them that.
4. Fiber Capsules are a pregnant girl's best friend.
5. Icy Hot may give the Fiber Capsules a run for their money.
6. And while Icy Hot and Fiber may be a pregnant girl's best friend, Tums and Zantac 75 at least deserve great friend status.
7. I wonder if there's a clothing line that makes clothes for the time in between normal belly and "Woa, you must be due this month!" Choosing what to wear each morning has become an adventure to say the least.
8. Marty is my hero. He now lifts the almost heavy things - like the laundry basket and the box I need from the car. He also now gives me a back rub every night if I ask. I never take advantage. Last night he didn't even complain about having to be the one to administer the Icy Hot (usually there's at least a grunt).
9. I can't believe we find out in two days (this Thursday) if we're having a boy or a girl. Woohoo!
10. At the suggestion of my wonderful sister-in-law I've done some of those quizzes you can take online that tell you if you're having a boy or a girl by using Old Wives Tales. One quiz I took said we're 71% likely to have a boy. Another one said we're 61% likely to have a girl. However, the Chinese Lunar Calendar said we will have a boy. I guess we'll find out soon enough!

In the meantime, stretchy clothing rules!
Joy

Grrr...

So, I know, I should really let it go and move on. The pointing, patting, name-calling and everything else will only get worse from here on out. Too bad I want to be treated like the girl named Joy. It's too late. All people see is my belly. That's all people talk about, all people look at and all people want to touch.

So, I've decided, unless someone says something seriously rude or steps way past the line, that this will be my last blog complaining about the idiocy of non-pregnant people. No offense to those of you who aren't pregnant - I'm just mad.

Today, a stupid woman walked passed me who knows I'm prego because she's one of the ones who thought she could pat my belly and said....AND SAID, "You're gaining weight Gurl." She said it like it was the cutest thing anyone could ever say to a pregnant woman.

Duh! Like I don't know that! Like I'm not having a hard time every morning figuring out what to wear because my normal clothes are too small and my maternity ones are too big.

Duh! Like I don't know that I'm gaining weight from the protruding belly that is getting harder and harder to hide. Non-pregnant women don't get why I'd want to hide it, I know. They think it's cute but to me, it just looks like fat.

So, to everyone who thinks it's fun to point out the ever so obvious belly (like I didn't know it was there) and to ANYONE who wants to talk about my weight, go jump off a cliff!! Gaining weight when you're pregnant sucks just like it does when you're not pregnant. At least at this point it does. I'm not really expecting that to change all that much.

And so, while there is still plenty of rage within me, I will choose to focus on the good. Next time someone says something to me that is just stupid, I'll just flick them off or better yet, talk about their weight. Ooooh, that sounds like fun!

Doesn't anyone have suggestions on how to handle the ignorance? Please? Something. And don't tell me it will get better or that the life growing within me is worth it - I know that but it doesn't really help right now.

Letting go of the rage,
Joy

Weeks 17 - 20

So, I'm not quite at 17 weeks but Friday's coming. I was reading a pregnancy site today and found this.

Your Mood
Don't be surprised if you start to experience "pregnancy brain" (aka "fuzzy brain"), which is characterized by the inability to remember simple words and tasks--or why they even matter! The mood swings you had in your first trimester have most likely abated, and you might be feeling excited and energized.


Just so everyone knows that I can at least laugh at myself - "pregnancy brain" has set in.

Yesterday I went to CVS to get some medicine. I paid for it and headed to church. After church, we all headed to my parents' house for lunch. I change and head to the restroom. On my way I ask Marty to go get my medicine out of the car. He goes, comes back and asks me what type of medicine it was. I tell him and then say, "It would've been in a CVS bag."

He says, "There's no CVS bag in there. Did you leave it at church?"

Then it hits me. No, I didn't leave the stupid stuff at church. I NEVER EVEN LEFT THE STORE WITH IT!!!

Welcome to my life.

The things I'm starting to mind...

So, this Friday I'll be 16 weeks pregnant. It's strange to think that four months have passed already.

What's also strange are the things you never think you'll mind before you're pregnant but ABSOLUTELY MIND once you are pregnant. I think a part of me thought that with pregnancy came an extra dose of grace to give that perhaps makes you more radiant. I missed the extra dose of grace somewhere and I'm definitely not feeling radiant at all. Most of the time I feel like slapping hands and biting people's heads off. Hopefully it's just a stage.

So, while I have to admit that when my other friends were pregnant, I did touch their bellies. However, I ALWAYS ASKED FIRST. There are now several women that I barely know who simply think it's there God-given right to touch what doesn't belong to them - in passing. I'm not even showing all that much yet!!

Then, there are those who have forgotten that I'm a person and simply know me as pregnant and have nothing else to ask me but how I feel. I know. Everyone's trying to be supportive and sympathetic but I feel normal. I'm still just a regular girl!

Perhaps the one that makes me the most livid are those who think it's funny to insist that I'm having twins!! I know the truth. I've seen the sonogram. There's only one heartbeat in there, only one set of arm buds and leg buds, only one egg sac. So, why should it bother me when I know it isn't true? I think it comes down to ignorance. It sends chills down my spine like nails down a chalkboard that people WHO HAVE NEVER EVEN HAD A BABY think they might know better than I do what might come out of my body. Why would anyone want to add extra fear to your already crazy hormones? Why would anyone want to wish on you two babies when you're scared to death that you might not be able to handle just one. It's just plain rude and mean. I also think it comes down to the steps I'm on in my journey never being enough for others. We all get it, right? When you're dating everyone wants to know when you'll get engaged. When you're engaged, everyone wants to know when you'll get married. And then, the day after you get married, people not only want to know but feel like it's their duty to pressure you into having children. Then, when you are going to have a child, that's still not enough! It has to be two! Just let me be for Pete's sake!

Perhaps these days I'm just a little bit more hormonal than usual (go figure) and the only one to receive my rage is poor Marty and you - dear internet.

So, words to the wise for those of you who aren't pregnant. Treat pregnant women like they're normal. If you wouldn't normally ask them how they're doing, just keep on walking. If you're not close enough to pat her stomache when she's not pregnant at least have the decency to ask while she's pregnant. And for God sakes, NEVER EVER tell a woman she's having twins as her first child. If she is, then celebrate with her but if she's not celebrate with her what she is having.

Oh, and one more thing, don't ask her if she should be eating or drinking "that." Don't ask her if she's capable of carrying something. If she can't do it, she won't - it's as simple as that.

Please I ask you! Stop the madness.
From a woman who's about to lose all decorum. Thank you.

Today just begun and already I can tell it's going to be great. I woke up not tired this morning which hasn't happened in a while. When I went outside to get in my car there was a chill in the air! It actually feels like fall today - my favorite time of year. On my way to work I had a chai tea latte and a pumpkin cream cheese muffin and they tasted like fall. And, on my way in I was listening to Sara Groves. She always reminds me of the fall - her and the Counting Crows.

I tried figuring out why the fall is my favorite time of year. I think I wrote about it last year at this time. For me it has to do with reminiscing and loving what I remember. It makes me feel like going out and buying school supplies - a trapper keeper, cool pens, and a new backpack that matches my high top converse. I want to sit outside and watch the leaves change color.

As I looked for leaves that had changed color on the way in this morning, I thought about the process - why they're changing. All of nature is going into hybernation. Perhaps I should hybernate for a while - pull away, rest, learn from the Creator who has taught his creation what is important. There is a season - turn, turn, turn.

I hope you have a chance to buy some finger paints this season.

Our First Baby Pic!

Matt said that our baby looks a lot like Ella did at that age. Go figure!

Sometimes I wonder if other people make as many mistakes as I do. I'm not talking about the mistakes that don't matter like putting too much paprika in the chicken for dinner or forgetting a phone number. I mean mistakes that really make a difference like forgetting to add someone to a list that means whether or not they go on a trip. Pretty important stuff.

I'm learning the value of checking and double checking and copying people on emails. Perhaps someday I'll get it right. In between I'm wondering when the big mistakes will stop. Geez!

Hope your day is working out more mistake-free than mine!

On a whim...

Got a call yesterday from Kelly who announced that Dave Barnes was doing a concert at the Gwinnett Arena last night. $10 a ticket? Okay, I'll go. So, Marty and I headed out. It's strange to think that there was a time in my life where doing things in the middle of the week was normal now it's a rarity.

So, Dave was amusing. He played a great set for about an hour. The room wasn't packed - not even close - but he was still full of great stories and beautiful songs. I have a favorite that gives me goose bumps every time I hear it. Last night, hearing it live was breath-taking.

Just in case you haven't gotten a Dave Barnes CD yet, I suggest you do so.

Here's a little taste:

They tell me, this song's reserved for angels
Just sing me one a stranger just to prove your love
and you know they tell me
you've given poor men kingdoms
landed guilty freedom
taken on their stains
Your love will never change

They tell me, you dwell with good and evil
Alleys and Cathedrals
Shadows in our lives
and you know they tell me
You hold the world together
Not from guilt but pleasure
You somehow know my name
Your love will never change

So tell me there's nothing that you can't do
Love me though I've hurt you
You take all my blame
Your love will never change
Your love will never change

Have a great dave!
Joy

The Jet Lag Blues

So, I woke up this morning quite abruptly at 2 a.m. What? Go back to sleep, go back to sleep, go back to sleep. Not happening. I counted backwards from 300. I got to around 150 before I got bored. The thoughts of what lie ahead of me bombarded. Then I realized I was hungry. So, I quietly slid out of bed and dug through my backpack which still hasn't been unpacked (thankfully) and found the snacks I packed for the trip which went untouched. I grabbed a pack of Cheez-Its and hung out in the bathroom for about five minutes munching. I crawled back in bed and began the routine all over again. Ugh! I'm not quite sure when I fell back asleep again but I know I saw 3:30 and possibly something closer to 4. Needless to say, today I'm done. I feel like a zombie sitting here. So, I figured I'd write more about Australia. I promised I would while I was there but time just didn't allow.

Marty and I were asked while we were there what our Highs and Lows were of the conference. So I figured to give everyone a brief overview, I could stick to that. We really received a lot of great teaching. I guess that was the highlight. We got really deep stuff. For example, Danielle spoke one night about Gideon.
Notes:
If we're really going to be the people God called us to be - free and freeing others - something has to shift.
1. True Humility
2. True Dependency
True humility is agreeing with God about who you are. Gideon's been getting his definition about who he is from different places - the world, his family, his occupation.
False humility - the I suck mentality. Who's defining you?
Peace is not the absence of conflict it is the presence of war. (someone famous said that)
We are not fighting out of insecurity. We are fighting for righteousness and justice and because we agree with God about who we are.
True dependency is agreeing with God about who HE is. Gideon creates circumstances where only God can show up (the fleece). We settle for things that we can do. We need to believe God for more and create pockets in our lives where only God can show up.
We have to start coming into agreement about what God says regarding each other.

So, that was a little taste of what we got. That was just one of the speaks. My favorite meeting simply because it was fun was Saturday morning. Steve and Danielle led us in a time of worship called Harp and Bowl. Before the meeting Steve was hopping around like a kid in a candy shop because he was so excited to do it. That morning I felt like crap - cough, tired, nauseous. I didn't know if I could make it through the meeting. Danielle and Steve start to teach about Harp and Bowl - where the reference comes from Scripturally (Revelation). They explained to us that there are angels around the throne of God who hold a harp in one hand and a bowl of incense in the other which is the intercessory prayers of the saints. They said that the angels are worshipping while praying. That's what we were going to do. So, a scripture verse came up on the screen (Ephesians 3:16 - 21) and Danielle prayed a pray for The Salvation Army based on that scripture. The entire time the worship band was playing. After Danielle finished her prayer, one of the guys from the band sang a spontaneous prayer from that scripture for The Salvation Army for 30 seconds. Then Marty went. Then Kath went and then....oh, and then, THE ENTIRE CONGREGATION WENT!!! It was really cool to hear an entire room filled with intercessory prayers for The Salvation Army that were worshipful. I loved it!

So, that's just a little bit more about the conference. If you'd like to see the DVD of the Harp and Bowl experience, just let me know and I'll see what I can do.

Perhaps tomorrow I'll talk about the week after the conference during Marty and I's vacation but the highlight of the trip really was the conference. Does that make me a sad person? Nah.

True peace,
Joy

ACC06:Free

The theme for ACC06 is Free. The tag line that goes with it was written by an American journalist. "Average people don't want to be free. They just want to be safe." I'm learning a lot about just how average I am. It seems to be the theme I keep coming back to - inaction, resolve to do something but then never really doing it, laziness, excuses. It's quite sad really. When will the day come where dependence on God is really a part of my life and not just something I talk about. So, I have to choose to quit talking and complaining and move - with or without Marty or anyone else. I can't wait any longer for someone to walk beside me although that's what I desperately long for. Do what? I'm not sure. Start a cell group that I'm actually longing to go to instead of one that I just semi-commit to. Perhaps actually meet my neighbors and GET TO KNOW them. I've only lived there for six years - you'd think it was different. As an officer's kid perhaps it wasn't necessary to know my neighbors because I had built in friends at the corps and at school. I'm tired of being friends with just Christians. I'm ready to know non-Christians.

I'm sure that all of you who read my blog are probably tired of reading the same thing over and over again. I'm tired of writing it. I'm incredibly tired of living it. So, here goes. No more. It's time to leave the sub-living behind. I'm ready for full-living, full-trying, full-hoping and full-depending.

Anyway, it's been quite a good conference. I've had to take a mental break today from a few of the sessions. I was just starting to overload. Danielle Strickland, Campbell Roberts, Phil Wall have all been great. Hitting home for me - obviously.

Marty's been leading worship during the day sessions and everyone seems to really enjoy his style of worship. It's nice to see Salvos from another country appreciating what he has to offer.

The other thing I find quite refreshing is the amount of young adults around here who choose to own The Salvation Army as their own. They aren't ashamed of being Salvos. While I know that they must have some complaints or some constructive criticism along the way, it's been nice to be here and not have a diatribe of negative conversations regarding the Army. I'm just enjoying being a part of it this week. The young adults here wear pieces of their uniform with normal clothes. They put their epaluettes on non-uni shirts. I saw a girl last night wearing her uniform shirt with jeans and a cool big black belt and boots. It just looks like it's a part of who they are. I hope that they wear these things to places besides the Army corps. Some girl said to me this morning that I should start the trend in America. I told her that I don't really want to. I'm just not that commited to my uniform. Is that a sad thing? Probably. I'm just not ready to wrestle with that question yet. There are bigger concerns in my Christian walk and my Christian walk as a Salvo that I feel I should actually take apart and examine before the uniform issue. It's just a really cool and refreshing thing to see the uniform become relevant.

So, I'm out of time. Perhaps I'll have more tomorrow or Sunday. We'll see.

It's been worth the 21 hours on a plane and the week's not over.

Australia so far....

So, Marty and I arrived safely in Australia yesterday morning (Monday) around 9 a.m. which would have been 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. I think.

So far, our trip has been quite eventful. Before we left home, Marty's face started to swell up as a result of some dental work he had done last week. He had gotten some anti-inflammatory pills as well as an antibiotic but by the time we got off the plane yesterday, the swelling was worse. Welcome to Australia!

So, we spent our first day going to the dentist. We found out he'll have to have a root canal done when we return home. Yeah! The dentist here did give him more antibiotics and told him he should be okay until then.

I definitely hope so.

Aggressive Christianity Conference starts tomorrow. I'm really excited about what we'll learn. Hopefully I'll get a chance to update everyone throughout.

A Profane Faith

A co-worker left an article by Doug Giles in my mailbox this morning. It's called "A Profane Faith." She said I may not have written it but she could hear me saying it. Halfway through the article I thought - this is what I believe but I'm not so great at making it a reality. Here's the part I liked best:
"To help you take your Christianity out of the Christian ghetto where the secularists would love you to remain, here's a simple can do: start to see life as a whole. Begin to merge, as J.I. Packer says:
Your Christianity with culture,
Your contemplation with achievement,
Your worship with work,
Your labor with rest,
Your fasting with a Fosters,
Your love of God with love of neighbor and self,
Your personal identity with social identity,
Your wide spectrum of relational responsibilities with each other in a thoroughly conscientious and considered way.
Try that next week, next month and the next few years, and watch your influence spread like butter."

It's nothing new really. My favorite was the line about the Fosters. I think because if you're talking about beer - you're talking about bars. Why not go there?It seems I have segregated myself from non-Christians in an unconscious manner. I want to become a part of people's lives who don't get church, much less, The Salvation Army. Fado Fado, here I come. I think the early slum sisters did that.

What Owen Thinks of Us

Evidently, a month or so ago, Dawn and Matt were eating at a Mexican restaurant with Owen, their son, my incredible nephew. Well, there was this painting on the wall. Dawn sent it to Marty letting him know that when Owen saw this painting, he thought of Marty and I. I'm not sure what I think about that but it is quite amusing.

What do you think? Appropriate representation of the two of us?

Hmmmm....

I'm an Aunt again!

Yesterday was a miraculous day in the Cunningham family.

ELLA GRACE CUNNINGHAM was born! She weighed 7 pounds 11 ounces and is 20 inches long. She's got big feet and little ears and was a little bit stubborn on the way out. I just heard that part through the door.

I got to watch my brother walk into a new role as father and all that that entails. I watched him care for his adorable wife and cheer his daughter into the world. He's accomplished many things in his life but this has to be the pinnacle! How can you get a title more important than Daddy or Mommy? They are going to be fantastic parents. It's surreal to think she's finally here - the beautiful baby all of us have been waiting on and hoping for.

Here are a few pictures from yesterday. The first few are of us impatiently waiting it out in the delivery room. The last are of Ella and her family! Ella baby, we've been waiting on you a long time. Welcome to the world! We're going to have a great time together.

Jamie Cullum at Chastain Park

So, for Marty's birthday I bought him tickets to go see Jamie Cullum at Chastain Park. I never knew how absolutely cool the venue at Chastain Park is. Before Jamie ever came on stage, I had already vowed that Marty and I would be back - with a picnic next time! It was absolutely fabulous and even though I had already had dinner - I needed some food just to feel like I was getting everything out of the experience! Those chocolate strawberries were the best I have ever had - no kidding. Thank you Whole Foods.

Jamie's opening act was the Gabe Dixon Band. They are really incredible and you would do well to buy his CD. In fact, I would do well to buy his CD.

Then, Jamie Cullum came on stage and for the rest of the night I could not stop singing or smiling or clapping. He is dynamic on stage. He jumps off of his piano, steps on the keys with his foot yet all the time he's making incredible music. He began with "Ordinary Life" which is one of my favorites and then continued to play every single one of the songs I love. My favorite song that he performed was "These are the days." It was like there was magic in the air. You could feel it! I was mesmerized.

I'm not usually into just summarizing my evenings. I do usually have a point but not today. I just wanted to say that I had a great night last night singing and dancing and laughing to Jamie Cullum's rhythm.

If you haven't bought his CDs yet. Do it! You'll love his music, I know it!

Marty, thank you for a beautiful evening. I love spending my life with you.

My July 4th

Here's how Marty, my mom and I spent July 4th this year.

To the voice

Yesterday while at work, my friend told me about this excellent idea she had. She said she made brownies once and before she poured the batter in the pan, she broke up a milky way bar and put it in the bottom of the pan. Then she baked it. She also melted a milky way bar and poured it over the top of the brownies for icing.

By the time I left work yesterday, I needed a brownie. I didn't want a brownie. I needed it. On the drive home, I talked myself into waiting until after dinner. If I was still hungry and if I still wanted a brownie then, I could have one.

So, I ate dinner - and I was still hungry. But then I realized I'd have to put on shoes and that would require walking upstairs....so, I settled for a bowl of cereal.

BUT I WAS STILL HUNGRY! Maybe I just really wanted the brownie after all. So, I put on my shoes, went to Sonic, got my Hot Fudge Cake Sundae (not quite the same but it will work) and then I felt the need for tater tots too - so I order myself a small order. I raced home. Got myself situated on the couch - and chowed down.

Then the guilt came. I didn't need that sundae and I definitely didn't need the tater tots. Why oh why do I do that to myself? Perhaps an occasional splurge is worth it - and needed but if it's needed, why do I feel so bad about myself afterwards.

I have to face the scale today at Weight Watchers - duh duh duh. The horror.

So, to the voice within me that constantly cries out for chocolate - not just during PMS but all year long, I say....

"Shut up while I eat my salad."

Vacation and Graduation

Marty and I just got back from vacation two weeks ago. I know, I'm behind. Deal with it! We had such an incredible time! We went to his sister's graduation from Med School and then boarded a big boat and headed to Key West and the Bahamas. Woohoo! We ate lots and lots of ice cream. Bethany, Kim and I went kayaking and we all hung out on the BEACH!! People keep commenting on my tan but it will be gone in a minute. All that work for short-lived results.

We came home last Thursday and Marty graduated on Saturday! What a great day! We had a party to celebrate. Low Country Boil, Jake (Jason and Kelly's dog) taking a swim in the goldfish pond, funny t-shirts made by Bethany and an all-around good time.

We loved the Sushi Bar - especially Bethany!


Owen had a fancy trick. That boy could not make that spoon fall off his nose for anything.

It was nice having Kim there. Welcome to the family!


Dawn, Matt and Owen - we never get to spend enough time with them.



Marty was so good at math he took it 3 times!

There has been a lack of inspiration lately. I'm in a strange place these days and can't get past it to post. I'm not really wanting to or willing to share what I may not have given a second thought to 5 months ago. I can't now. I resort to pictures and fun things I've done just for the sake of posting. I rather like not allowing myself to feel pressured to come up with something brilliant to write about. Let's face it, so many others do that so much better than I do.

When I can figure out the ups and downs again, I'll return to meanderings and thought-provoking posts. In the meantime, I promise to post events and pictures. Both are many times less interesting but that's about all I've got right now. I hope you will enjoy them.

Bethany graduated today. She is now a doctor. All of the Mikles clan plus one Kim Touchton will board a boat on Saturday and cruise to Key West and the Bahamas. Yay! Then, next Saturday, my husband graduates from college. I'm so proud of both of them. I can't wait.

Enjoy your weekend - I know I will.

Global Night Commute

This Saturday night I'm hoping to be involved in Atlanta's Global Night Commute. What is that you ask? Thousands of men, women and children across the United States are lying down and closing their eyes to join the invisible children in Norther Uganda. By doing so, they will demand that our government put an end to the longest running war in Africa and one of the worst crises in the world today.

All this I stole from the Invisible Children website linked to the title. So often we want to do more and make a difference. Well, on Saturday night, April 29 you can. Find out where the Global Night Commute is happening in your city and take part. We have an opportunity to make the children of Uganda's plight known and heard by our government.

Here's to a sleepless night.

Joy

Yesterday afternoon Gabriela, Jason, Lucy and I went to the Hamptons at Lennox to spend time with some kids. We go every week. Usually we just play games with them, give them a snack, pray with them and then send them home. Yesterday Jason brought pictures back to them of his trip to China.

Before Jason left we told the kids that he was going because there were people in China selling children and that he needed to find out more so that he could help. (If you want to read the specifics about his trip, try three posts back.) Anyway, we told the kids at the apartment complex the children and women in China were being sold. We thought that answer was valid. The kids seemed to be okay with that.

Yesterday Jason begins to show his pictures. He gets through about 30 of them and gets to one about a boy who is 16 whose mother was sold a few years earlier. That wasn't enough for the children in the room. The questions began. Why are they sold? Do the people kill them? Are they used for work?

How do you tell children who are between the ages of seven and thirteen that there are women and children in the world who are being sold for sex? You don't I suppose. There will come a time when they know more than they need to about sex and can help combat the problem. What's sufficient for now though? How do you express to children the reason why Jason had to go to China? How do you impress upon them the severity of the issue?

I see the children that we spend time with every week and I see their naivety when it comes to such things and I realize that children just like them - their age, their size - are being used for sex. It makes the problem of sexual trafficking that much more real to me. Then I wonder if there is a chance that any of these children, sitting in this room, could be trafficked. My heart breaks because I know it could happen. Traffickers don't just live overseas anymore. They live in my city and they probably live on this street.

I've been wondering how much good we're doing spending time with a dozen children each week. We don't teach them Bible lessons or sing Sunday School choruses. We just pray with them and ask them to keep coming. We may not be able to save them from something so evil. I do know that spending two hours with them each week keeps them away from predators for that short amount of time. Meanwhile they are learning that talking to God isn't hard and that they can trust us. Two things that don't seem to come so easily.

I'm now just wondering what more we can do.

Lord, please give us that kind of wisdom to see justice prevail here.

Girl's Weekend Away

this past weekend i got to spend time in Savannah with my best friend - Lorelie! we had such an incredible time - eating at the Pink House, staying in the Marshall House, walking around the town until it felt like our feet might fall off, learning about Pulaski and Oglethorpe and how they shaped the town. we ate milky way cake for breakfast!

the souvenirs from the weekend come in the form of art. we bought sketch books on saturday and decided to walk around the town and draw what we saw. here's some of the beautiful works of Joy and Lorelie that i'm sure you will appreciate. beside them are the pictures of the actual scenery.

to chatham artillary!

The Fountain in Johnson Square




The Huge Fountain that Caused Some Drawing Difficulties



And this one is Lorelie with her brand new sketch book. Thanks for a great weekend! You're the best.

Jason in China

Hi Everyone! My friend Jason is going to China next week. Please read what he's written regarding what the Lord has called him to.

Thanks,
Joy

China - Touch Their Poverty!

I have been asked to be a part of a human trafficking assessment team to
Mainland China. I will be going with a team of Salvation Army leaders to
various project sites within poor communities in China which are at risk
for human trafficking. My role on the team will be to see the situation
through the eyes of a westerner and give my feedback as to how this problem
may best be communicated to the west. My goal for the trip is to "touch
their poverty." Or rather I want to be touched by their poverty! I want to
feel the discomfort of their living to the point of it breaking my heart.

This is something that The Salvation Army has always been called to do.
Last August I was able to read, "Good Morning China!" a book by Lt. Colonel
Check-Hung Yee which tells the history of The Salvation Army in China. In
an epilogue his daughter says, "As you step back in time and experience
God’s transforming work in this generation of brave soldiers, may your
heart also leap and be fanned to flame with the bond of love for China’'s
1.3 billion souls.’ As I read this book that is exactly what happened. I
found myself with a burning desire to go to China and see the Army at work
there.

I plan on coming back to the States with a renewed vision and passion for
God's calling on my life for the world. I will be leaving next Wednesday
and coming back on April 8th. I would love to ask you all to support me and
the team. Please pray for us even now as we prepare to go. On my return it
is my plan to provide a report of the trip on this blog.

One friend wrote to say the Lord had layed the following verse on his heart
regarding this trip:

'You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap
their hands. Instead of the thorn-bush will grow a pine tree, and instead
of briers, the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord's renown, for an
everlasting sign which will not be destroyed.'

Isaiah 55:12

I am raising support to cover the cost of this trip. If you feel that you
would like to help support this trip financially or would just like more
information please contact me at Jason_Pope@uss.salvationarmy.org.

Correction

Today I stand corrected. I should really consult the Word of God before I decide whether or not something is or is not Biblical. My good friend Anna pointed out to me that the saying "God is not a God of confusion" does indeed come from scripture and is not just some cute little saying that church people throw at us in the middle of a crises. I was wrong. I have been wrong in my life about a lot of things. I just wasn't ready for the simple that day - that's all.

I'm not quite sure I'm even where I was when I wrote last time. I think it was a pretty saying really - to ask God not to calm the storm but to show me his presence in all of it. I was too quick to criticize the disciples though. I always am.

Right about now I'm wishing the Lord would wake up and calm the storm.

In other news however, my beautiful cousin Leslie just had a gorgeous baby girl named Lindsey Nichole yesterday who weighed 4 pounds and 14 oz and was 19 inches long! God is the author of life.

Happy Birthday Lorelie and Beth!

It's Beth and Lorelie's Birthdays! I wish them both a really great day! Enjoy you two! I love you both!

Joy

God is a god of confusion?

I've been gone a long time! I didn't know it until I checked the date of my last post and realized that it was almost a month ago.

I don't have anything profound to give today. Marty and I are in the middle of the biggest decision we've ever faced as a married couple and while I know in the end this journey will be rewarding, in the middle it's just downright frustrating and tiring.

Someone, a lovely lady who attends Atlanta Temple, stopped me last Wednesday night after she found out about the decision we're facing and said, "Just remember, God is not a God of confusion. If there's confusion, God's not in it." I have used that line before with people. I believed it as well. Until last Wednesday night when a person offered that advice to me who doesn't really know me or Marty all that well. I walked away thinking - "I don't remember that part of the Bible." I don't remember Jesus saying of his father that he wasn't a God of confusion. What I'm pretty sure of is that the disciples spent a lot of their days in confusion - scratching their heads because they couldn't quite figure this Jesus guy out.

He definitely confused them - and the world around them.

I was left with the thought that the cliche I was handed wasn't really Biblically based at all but just something Christians made up to make themselves feel better instead of really pushing through to the end of the confusion to reveal a deeper relationship with their father. It sucks being in the middle of two choices. It sucks not really knowing what God wants from me specifically in all of this but I know he's teaching me that I need to listen more and pray more. Perhaps God is not a god of confusion but I'm beginning to believe he's in the middle of the confusion helping you know which way is up.

I'm reminded of the disciples in the boat during the storm. They thought they were going to drown. They woke Jesus up and he immediately calmed it but then he questioned their faith.

Is my faith big enough to ride out this storm? I don't want him to calm it if it doesn't bring growth.

Teach me Lord, in the middle of the confusion to hear you clearly and to trust you completely. I will not ask you to make the storm go away - just that you allow me to understand your presence in all of it.

5 Patients Healed

Marty and I sponsor the Bahay Paraiso Cancer Center through The Salvation Army. Basically this means that every month we donate $20 to this particular center in the Philippines and we help provide medical care, food, clothing and other supplies to the patients who are living at this center and have been diagnosed with cancer.

The cool thing is today, after sponsoring this home for a year, I received a report from the center. The first one! In January the center held a Salvation meeting that had an incredible impact on those in attendance. Patients who have no hope decided to put their hope and trust in the Lord. Others who believed strengthened their walk with Jesus.

The best part of all? Five of the patients from the Cancer Center were sent home because they were healed!!! God is doing incredible things in the Philippines!

Because I send $20/month to the Philippines I get to rejoice with my brothers and sisters in Christ when they are healed! I didn't do anything incredible. I didn't give up anything that I would have needed. Perhaps I miss out on a cup of Starbucks every now and again or a trip to McDonalds or the purchase of a new CD but I've never gone without. Please know I'm not trying to flaunt the fact that I sponsor a child. What I am trying to do is persuade others to join me. Currently there are over 400 names of children on The Salvation Army's list waiting for sponsors. Your money would provide schooling, food, shelter, clothes and medical coverage. There are a ton of other reasons to begin donating your resources to The Salvation Army's Child Sponsorship program - to help broken, needy families, to provide for children, to offer hope, to care for the fatherless, to defeat injustice. The rejoicing alongside them is just an added bonus. To see them gain a future is another added blessing. I hope you seriously consider sponsoring a child - no matter which sponsorship program you choose. Your gift is well worth the effort. Even if you never receive a report that five cancer patients were healed.

It's so worth giving up a White Chocolate Mocha.

To Healing and Sponsorship,
Joy

Quit It or Forget It

I'm just wondering if we focus too often on what we have to give up or quit instead of on what we can do and have the ability to do. Perhaps that's why Christians so often feel as if their walk with Christ is constantly struggling - because they just can't quit ....or they just can't get .... right.

I wonder how much more lovely our lives would be if we simply focused on our ability - what we have the right to do because God has graced us with the title of His child.

Just an early morning thought as I became frustrated over some reading material.

Blessings!

Sacrifice

Phil has written on a white board in his office the verse 2 Samuel 24:24: "I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God a sacrifice that costs me nothing." When I first read it I began to ponder what a sacrifice that would cost me something might look like.

This week I've been reading Leviticus. The first eight to ten chapters are God specifying to Moses exactly how the Israelites should offer their sacrifices; where the animals would be slaughtered, who would do the killing, which animals were for which sacrifices. It all seemed incredibly gory to me. I can't imagine being a priest during this time and spending my entire day covered in blood and burning animals. However, there were some things that fascinated me and made me consider my sacrifice.

In Scripture it is read as if every Israelite would just simply offer a sacrifice. It is taken for granted that they would want to do this. I was under the impression that sacrifices were just for atonement but they were also for an offering unto the Lord and for fellowship - to bless him. Maybe I'm showing my ignorance but I never received any teaching otherwise. So, Israelites were not simply required to bring a sacrifice, it was taken for granted that they would want to bring a sacrifice - above and beyond their sacrifice for atonement.

How often do I bring a sacrifice simply because I want to?

Their offerings were costly - the first, the perfect, the unblemished male of a herd. These animals were a part of their livlihood in most cases - if not, I'm sure they cost a pretty penny. They were offering what could've been used to feed a family. That brings it home for me. That's where the sacrifice really makes its understanding. Now I get sacrifice. These people were taking food off of their table, food from their children's mouths to offer it to the Lord.

Have I ever gone without to give to the Lord?

Then I wondered how often I would've been required to offer a sacrifice for my sin. Once a year would I have had to go without food? Once a month? Once a week? Daily?

Needless to say, when considering sacrifice this week I have been overwhelmed with understanding for the need of Jesus in my life and grateful beyond words for the fact that he took upon himself my sin - yearly, monthly, daily, hourly.

I am still left wondering however, what my sacrifice should be. I read somewhere that now our sacrifices our solely spiritual. I don't know that I agree. Does the Father still not ask sometimes for a fellowship sacrifice that shows up in the physical world? I don't have an answer.

Here are a few quotes I read regarding Leviticus that I thought I'd include because I think they're important.

On Leviticus 10
"The glory of God appeared not while the sacrifices were in offering but when the priests prayed, which intimates that the prayers and praises of God's spiritual priests are more pleasing to God than all burnt-offerings and sacrifices."

"God's consummation of the sacrifice signifies God entering into covenant and communion with them."

Any thoughts?

Retreat

There aren't words to describe how elated a girl can get when she watches her husband do what the Lord gifted him to do. Friday night Marty played at the Georgia ski retreat and he was able to do all of his own songs except for one. The response of the crowd, the presence of the Holy Spirit, the support of friends were all incredibly tangible. I couldn't stop beaming. I may be a little biased but I know he's got talent and I know he's going places. I just wish we knew which places.

Jason did a great job planning the Young Adult retreat. We took a detour from the beaten path and instead of doing normal meetings we had small groups for the entire weekend. Some of the studies were better than others but Sunday mornings left me begging for more. There wasn't enough time to finish the study and I really wanted to get there. I think it was partly because we studied one of my favorite scripture passages; Philippians 2: 1-11. Perhaps it's my favorite because I just can't get it. Anyway, I walked away begging the question - how much does obedience play a part in humility? What would it truly look like to "consider others better than yourselves" with regard to obedience to Christ? I think it's a legitimate question. One I don't want to rush past.

Saturday afternoon we skied. I was pretty impressed with my ability since it had been two years. I fell mostly when standing still or waiting in line. I'm not sure that many others can boast of that trait.

It was great to hang out with everyone - Bethany, Matt, Danielle, Kris, Jeremy, Kelly, Lesley, Jason, Robin.



It was great to hang out with everyone - Bethany, Matt, Danielle, Kris, Jeremy, Kelly, Lesley, Jason, Robin.

Thanks for making this weekend exactly what I needed - exactly that, a retreat.

Chris' Going Away Party

My friend Chris is moving to Sri Lanka for 3 years. I'm so excited for him but will miss him too. He gets to do some amazing work for the Tsunami victims. While he's there he'll coordinate the construction of 600 homes as well as teach those affected by the storm a new trade. How cool is that?

Good luck Chris! We'll all be praying for you. Here's a pic from the party. I took many more but none of them really turned out as well as this one.

Joy

"In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed." Exodus 15:13

Change

From Donald Miller's "Through Painted Deserts"

I could not have known that everybody, every person, has to leave, has to change like seasons; they have to or they die. The season remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way. All my life I have been changing. I changed from a baby to a child, from soft toys to play daggers. I changed into a teenager to drive a car, into a worker to spend some money. I will change into a husband to love a woman, into a father to love a child, change houses so we are near water, and again so we are near mountains, and again so we are near friends, keep changing with my wife, getting our love so it dies and gets born again and again, like a garden, fed by four seasons, a cycle of change. Everybody has to change, or they expire. Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons.

I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a Mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently.

I wondered when I read that page in his book if I was fertile soil for change; if I just simply talk about change and want it but am too afraid to make it happen; or if I'd change but the chance just wasn't offering itself. I was afraid of the former and mad at the latter.

This year seems to be birthing in Marty and I's life new things. Before we were ever married we laid our lives on the line and asked the Lord to do things with us that we could never imagine. Then we kept praying and begging and pleading. It seems that now the Lord is beginning to allow those prayers to come into reality. Just now I'm thankful for the fact that He is showing us how valuable we are to Him.

ROOTS '06

It's almost eery how well ROOTS went this year - especially in the Illuminate (Teen) Venue. We had about 35 teens at every meeting and the leadership team was incredible. TransMission led Praise and Worship and throughout the weekend the teens had different opportunities to give over parts of their lives to the Lord. One teen accepted Christ and has now given himself the name the New Found Sheep. We were able to welcome him to the family on Sunday morning with cheers and celebration. The greatness of it all was overwhelming. Watching teens choose to forgive - completely and truly some of the people who have hurt them so deeply is almost beyond comprehension. Watching them decide to live "ordinary" lives for Christ through their relationships, through their roles at school and work and home was inspiring. Even I have a hard time making the ordinary part of my life count and yet they were willing to give Him that part too!

Conferences like ROOTS, TYI, Youth Councils sometimes pump teens up for a weekend or a week only to send them home and back to the life they lived before. That's just it though isn't it? Shouldn't they live the life they were living before only as individuals who have been transformed by the Holy Spirit? Russ spoke of how when Jesus sent his disciples out into the world he sent them out as sheep among wolves. That's what our teens are - sheep among wolves. All I pray is that somehow, someway, we equipped them to live holy lives among those wolves.

Ah to be 28

Yesterday morning I woke up and all of a sudden I was 28. I was remembering on my way home from church my 18th birthday and couldn't believe it has been 10 years! I've been out of High School for 10 years, I've been an adult (whatever that is) for 10 years. This is strange.

I didn't even remember. Marty tapped me on the shoulder and told me "Happy Birthday" yesterday morning and I said, "Oh yeah, today is my birthday."

Marty is such an excellent husband and my family is just as fantastic and all of that is backed up by pretty great friends. Last night I had a surprise party! I knew we were going to dinner at Macaroni Grill but thought it was just my family. I get there and 21 of my friends and family were there to let me know how much they love me. I couldn't believe it! On top of that I couldn't believe that Marty was able to keep it a secret. He usually gives things away.

Sometimes in your life you are overwhelmed and don't have any words to say. That doesn't happen to me all that often but last night was one of those times. It was as if everything important in my life was sitting right in front of me - my mom, my dad, my brother and sister-in-law, Marty and all my friends who live nearby. I just can't get over it.

I'm wondering what this year will bring for me. Some changes are definitely on the horizon and I can't wait. I'm clinging to the fact that I am known by my Father and that He will lead both Marty and I there - wherever that is. I'm looking forward to this stage of life. It only seems to get better and better.

All of you who came last night - your presence in my life is so meaningful. Thank you for showing me how much you care. To those of you who wanted to be there but couldn't because of distance, please know that you were thought of and loved.

I HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD!!

Pictures to come.

Thank YOU!

I just wanted to say here thank you to all of you who prayed and are praying for my father. Thank you all for standing alongside me with your mouths wide open. Thank you for your wisdom and understanding.

He went back to the doctor today and had more tests done. He won't find out the results of those tests until tonight or tomorrow but I'm rejoicing early. The doctor told my dad that he would not have to go through radiation or chemotherapy! I don't know everything that means but I know it's good news and my insides are doing cartwheels!

I know that the Lord answered my prayer and the prayers of so many and I'm so thankful. I know that how he answers our prayers doesn't determine whether or not he's good. God just is good. Today and yesterday and the day before, when everything was so chaotic, the Lord showed me his goodness through friends and family who cared. He's a good God who blesses us with so much - most of all friends like you.

Thank you!

Cancer

Wednesday November 16.

That morning I was standing at Christine's desk recounting a dream I had the night before - my next door neighbors stalking me by driving around my house in their 1970-something Impala or other such car with their wedding clothes on and Paula looking a lot like Bette Midler as the police called me and asked their names - strange. I didn't get to finish telling Christine my dream because the phone rang.

"Joy Mikles"

"Hey sweetest girl in the whole wide world." (I know - it's really quite cheesy that my mom still calls me this even though I'm 27 but it's familiar)

"Hey my mama" (yes, that's always my response)

Then Dad says hi.

"Hi Daddy" A pause. "Oh no, you're both on the phone with me at the same time, what's wrong? What is it?" (This is the way they've always given us bad news - together - no matter what).

"Joy, I have cancer." My heart stopped beating for a second I think.

That's where it began. Dad proceeded to tell me that he had just found out that morning from the doctor. The doctor did say however that it was 90% curable because they caught it early.

Then mom asked through tears if I was okay. No, I'm not okay. My dad has cancer. I don't know what to do - so I sob. For the rest of the day as I tell people I just keep saying to everyone else that he'll be okay. This is more for me than for them. I can't stop saying it - like I'm trying to convince myself about the last part of the statement, the 90% part, more than the fact that he has to have surgery and they have to do it quick because...well, he has cancer.

On the outside over the next couple of weeks I'm fine. People ask. "I'm fine." What they didn't hear or see were my thoughts about what our family would become if he doesn't make it. It's so early I shouldn't even be there yet but I can't help it. Then, of course, I think about what my spiritual life would become if he wouldn't make it. Then I start bargaining and pleading and praying. For three weeks that's all I can do. Such basic prayers over and over again. I couldn't help it and yet I kept feeling the entire time like somehow my faith should be stronger - my trust in the Creator should be a little bit more solid. I couldn't get there though. My prayers simply just placed me clinging to Him - pleading for a cancer-free dad.

I was reading Psalm 81 that week and got to verse 10, "I am the Lord your God who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." What's that mean? Open wide your mouth and I will fill it? Not quite sure. Then I realized that the Lord was telling the Israelites that if they would trust him, He would meet their needs. He wasn't just saying open your mouth and I'll put food in it - that's essentially what He's promising but He says, "Open WIDE your mouth." "Don't just stand there timid and barely open it and hope that I throw you a crumb from the table. Stretch your jaws, as far as they'll go and I'll fill them." (my paraphrase) Later in the chapter, verse 16 to be exact, he says, "But you would be fed with the finest of wheat; with honey from the rock I would satisfy you."

He wanted me to trust him enough to throw my head back and open my mouth wide enough, trust Him so much, that I could ask him for exactly what I wanted - a dad without cancer. So I did. I pictured it over and over again. Me, head back, open mouth - hoping, waiting, wanting desperately - not just for wheat but the finest wheat and honey from a place where it couldn't come unless he provided it.

I was spiritually poor for three weeks. Still am I suppose. Dad went through surgery fine and came out looking beat up but okay. He said some pretty funny things while coming out of the anestisia - things that would embarrass him if I mentioned them here. However, I went home that night and sobbed like I had just found out the diagnosis. I guess I was just letting out the stress.

Anyway, he had his follow up appointment this past Wednesday. The doctor said it had spread just a little bit outside of the area but they took more than they needed so they probably got it all. I said, "probably?" Anyway, it comes down to the fact that we won't find out for sure until he has another test in January.

I don't really know where all of this puts me. I'm not quite sure my relationship with the Father has grown through this. All I know is that I'm still standing with my head thrown back, mouth open, trusting the Lord to meet my need - maybe.

Is my Dad's health a need? I'm not sure. I've asked myself that question over and over again. I feel like it is. It's the most desperate plea I've ever had in my life. Anyway, I just can't get past this part - the asking part. I'm not sure that's trust when you ask over and over again because maybe God didn't hear you the first time - or the fiftieth but I'm still asking.

Perhaps this is simply what holding your breath feels like.

With hope,
Joy

Making Moments

This week I've been focusing on Making Moments. The book I use for to guide my devotions asks this week that I prayer that the moments of my life may themselves become prayers. Whether they are in the joy of a birthday party, in the weariness that comes from labor, in the majesty of the setting sun or in the pain that comes with tears. Pray that each in its turn will cause you to lift your voice to him.

Each day we're also given a selection for meditation. Today's was a story. Most of the time they are just profound thoughts someone like A.W. Tozer once said. I love those but today I realized something. God put something in me when I was born that just relates to stories - whether true or fiction. So often I feel a little less intelligent than my friends who don't read fiction because they prefer the intellectual musings of some great mind. This morning I realized that so often I only get the point if it's made through story. So, this morning, I got the point of making moments through this story. If you don't like stories - stop reading. If you do, read on, it's about kites and meeting Jesus with today in your eyes.

Well, I'm disappointed. Who wouldn't be? With socks, a Sunday School shirt, some handkerchiefs, a hand-me-down sweater and a year's subscription to a religious magazine for children. The Little Shepherd. It makes me boil. It really does.

My friend has a better haul. A sack of Satsumas, that's her best present. She is proudest, however, of a white wool shawl knitted by her married sister. But she "says" her favorite gift is the kite I built her. And it "is" very beautiful; though not as beautiful as the one she made me, which is blue and scattered with gold and green Good Conduct stars; moreover, my name is painted on it, "Buddy."

"Buddy, the wind is blowing."

The wind is blowing, and nothing will do till we've run to a pasture below the house where Queenie has scooted to bury her bone (and where, a winter hence, Queenie will be buried, too). There, plunging through the healthy waist-high grass, we unreel our kites, feel them twitching at the string like sky fish as they swim into the wind. Satisfied, sun-warmed, we sparwl in the grass and peel Satsumas and watch our kites cavort. Soon I forget the socks and hand-me-down sweater. I'm as happy as if we'd already won the fifty-thousand-dollar Grand Prize in that coffee-naming contest.

"My, how foolish I am!" my friend cries, suddenly alert, like a woman remembering too late she has biscuits in the oven. "You know what I've always thought?" she asks in a tone of discovery, and not smiling at me but at a point beyond. "I've always thought a body would have to be sick and dying before they saw the Lord. And I imagined that when He came it would be like looking at the Baptist window: pretty as colored glass with the sun pouring through, such a shine you don't know it's getting dark. And it's been a comfort: to think of that shine taking away all the spooky feeling. But I'll wager it never happens. I'll wager at the very end a body realizes the Lord has already shown Himself. That things as they are" -her hand circles in a gesture that gathers clouds and kites and grass and Queenie pawing earth over her bone -"just what they've always been, was seeing Him. As for me, I could leave the world with today in my eyes."
~From A Christmas Memory by Truman Capote

That story taught me about what it means to make moments matter. I want to make moments that matter so much that I could leave today with them in my eyes.

Here's to kites and friends,
Joy

The Battle Begins

Here's where it begins - information. I receive emails almost daily from Lisa Thompson who works for The Salvation Army's Initiative Against Sexual Trafficking. Daily I'm disgusted at humanity and the idea that we will tout human beings as something to be bought and sold and that we will continue to glance over the problem as if it doesn't affect us. The truth is sexual immorality walks into our homes and lives daily and we don't even recognize it. So, now it's our chance to fight back. It might only be a small way to take a stand but it's a stand nonetheless. I'm posting below an article sent to me by Lisa from The Observer about a tourist company marketing tours through the Red Light District for FAMILIES!! Children under three get to go for free. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm also posting the address underneath the article where you can write the company to tell them of your outrage. It's not enough to get angry sometimes our righteous indignation calls for action.

For justice,
Joy

***************************
Red light tour condemned as 'sick'

Gemma Bowes
Sunday November 13, 2005
The Observer

Thomas Cook, Britain's longest running tour operator, is launching family tours to see prostitutes touting for trade in Amsterdam's red light district. The night-time excursions, which include a briefing about the 'system' from a former prostitute, are open to children of any age, and the company boasts 'under threes go free'.

Last week parents and charities working to protect women in the sex industry reacted with shock and disbelief when alerted to the tours by Escape.

'It is sick to propose a "prostitution tour" not only for adults, but even more so for children,' said Esohe Aghatise, the European representative of the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women (CATW), which campaigns against sexual exploitation of women.

A press release issued by Thomas Cook to announce the new 'Walking Tour Dark Amsterdam' describes how the two-hour tour, leaving at 8pm, will take visitors 'deep into the famous red light district, accompanied by a reliable and trustworthy guide, offering a fascinating insight into the oldest profession in the world!'

The brochure details what is included in the experience: 'Begin with a drink at a prostitute information centre where a former prostitute will explain the system and answer any questions you may have. Then head for the Wallen (red light district) and see for yourself.'

Adult tickets for the tour cost £12, though parents may be relieved to know children's tickets only cost £6. When asked what age range the child ticket covered, a spokeswoman said the prices apply to those from four to 12, and under threes go free.

CATW argues that taking children to see prostitutes is 'highly irresponsible' and risks traumatising them. The organisation estimates that 50-85 per cent of women in prostitution experience violence and debilitating injuries, and that more than 80 of those working in the Netherlands are of foreign origin, with most of them likely to have arrived there as victims of sex trafficking.

Dr Janice Raymond, co-director of CATW, said: 'Thomas Cook Tours treats prostitution as harmless fun. Women are sold as commodities in the Dutch sex industry, and Thomas Cook charges tourists to view the marketable products and chuckle at the human merchandise.'

Thomas Cook said it has introduced the tour in its 2006 Thomas Cook Signature Cities and Short Breaks brochure in response to feedback from clients.

'We have added this excursion to our programme so that our clients who do not feel comfortable or safe walking through the red-light district on their own can do so with an experienced guide, not only to escort them but to share his/her knowledge of this city's colourful past and present,' said a spokeswoman.

Thomas Cook needs to hear from you. Click the topic drop down box and select feedback. http://thomascooknew.custhelp.com/cgi-bin/thomascooknew.cfg/php/enduser/std_adp.php?p_faqid=99

On to more important things...

I couldn't sleep tonight. It's 12:30 a.m. and not a wink in sight. I tried but my sheep must've been off for the holiday. I kept dwelling on a comment anonymous left. Anonymouse - just so you know, you also made it to my friend Phil's blog at www.phillaeger.com. However, I think we've talked enough about the brand. I've come to realize that it can't do much. What I have realized is that I can and I've reposted anonymous' comment here because he or she's comment is the point - isn't it? I've shortened it because there were two questions in the comment but I want to focus on the first and here it is:

"I guess a much bigger question I would be asking doesn't have to do with the branding (although I think it's an aweful slogan) and that is, "Why is it the only people describing the Salvation Army as a soul winning community are the individuals within the movement and only in coversations with each other. The coversation never goes outside into the market place so to speak. The Army does a great job using a religious language when it is talking to itself and never when it engages the world. That to me should be the bigger question."

So, really my post is a question to the wide world if anyone is willing to respond: how do we engage the culture in conversation - a conversation that matters? What does it sound like? What does it look like? I don't think I'm talking about one of those hey I just met someone on a plane and they asked me what I do or where I go to church questions. That's perhaps an easy question but not really one that engages. I'm talking about what does the conversation look like in lifestyle, in habit? Perhaps that's where we should start. I don't think the branding will change many things but I know I can. I'm a foot soldier after all and that's where all wars are won - on the front lines.

I'm just wondering if we can begin a conversation here - where it counts.

Thanks,
Joy

I've been Branded

I know that I'm perhaps a day late and a dollar short posting about the "Doing the Most Good" branding almost two weeks (maybe more) after Cory did but I just went through the branding process and have a few thoughts to share.

All of the branding didn't really bother me before I went to the Branding meeting. I had people explain it to me as a promise to the public which I still believe it is. People kept telling me that they thought it was boastful - I'm not sure I ever thought it really was. I just kept my mouth shut about all of it - one way or another (except for questions here and there) until I had been through the meeting and heard what they had to say.

Now, I'm angry. Perhaps a little more than I need to be but I'm still quite ticked. I almost made it all the way through that stinking meeting without any objections and then they showed a video of Stan Richards who is obviously the founder of the group who came up with the branding. He began talking about getting a vision for people in the organization to live by - okay, I can do that. I can always ask myself if I'm doing the most good. Not a problem. Then he said that the next thing they do in order to come up with the brand is categorize in one word the organization or company which they are branding. For The Salvation Army the word they chose to describe us was CHARITY. I was angry - still am. We are a charitable organization but only because of the message we preach about the Good News of the gospel. It seems like every time I turn around we, The Salvation Army, are choosing not to let people know about who we serve when we have the opportunity. Why couldn't the stupid brand be about more than doing the most good with people's time, resources and contributions and be about doing the most good to win the world for Christ! That's why we do what we do and for the life of me I can't get past the thought that this isn't going to help. I will always have to tell my friends that we're not just a red kettle and a Thrift Store which this branding is supposed to help alleviate. I didn't see how but perhaps I will over time. Why is it that we chose to spend 12.7 million dollars on advertising last year and will continue to do so in the future and never EVER mention why we're the SALVATION army or spend a dollar trying to get that word out? Kelly asked the question that I'm asking. Not about funds but about how this will help people know we're a church and the answer that was returned was that it's up to us! Right, so, I get the responsibility to tell my sphere of friends, neighbors, whoever that we're a church ALL BY MYSELF? I love doing that - don't have a problem with it. In fact I feel it's my duty. Yet, the entire country gets a chance to hear about the other things we do and not why we do them through the media. That seems equal.

Perhaps we're putting the emPHAsis on the wrong syLAbell - concentrating our energy, our money, our time on the wrong part of the mission - the services, instead of why we offer the services in the first place.

Just my thoughts. Could go on and on but I think I'm beginning to beat a dead horse.

Are we doing the most good?
Joy